Dear SD is very slim, wants to be a model is 16yrs old and very self-aware and very self-obsessed - I know that is a description of any teenage girl. However from a very early age she was dressing inappropriately and it continues. We sometimes have to ask her to change just before we go out (since she spends most of her time in front of the mirror or the computer in her room). Sometimes I have defended her outfits to my DH and sometimes I have supported him. I get on well with her but have no real input as a parent because she has two already - I am more like a friendly aunt. I was pleased that she actually turned around and went straight back change on the recent occasion when I asked her directly, but it could have been because we were getting ready to leave the house with her aunt and uncle and she did not want to appear to make a fuss.
We are due to go to a family thing and I have been asked by her step grandmother (who is always giving her a hard time and my DH tries to keep the apart)to ensure that she is appropriately dressed. I have relayed this to my husband whose view is that if SD has any other arrangements on the day (because she often goes out with friends etc.) then to let her go her separate way. I feel that he avoids conflict (as we all do) and that if she is coming with us it is his responsibility to ensure that her outfit is ok. Am I copping out?....