Half term approaches... *mild panic*

[nogwells]

Hi this is my first post, probably mainly offloading some worries as well as saying hello. I'm mum to two three year old girls and in a new relationship with my partner who has a grown up daughter and a 12 year old son. We've moved in together partner girls and I in a lovely new if not crowded and chaotic house, this is no complaint obviously!!

12 year old step son currently away at school has said he wants to live with his Dad, which is wonderful of course but not for his Mum... I won't say at this point what we both feel about his Mum so this isn't me bitching either, oh dear... so for half term stepson...

(do we use names? I wasn't sure, I did read most of the rules and suggestions but should have read more posts too..I'm the jumping right in sort which is why my cooking is abysmal - currently re baking flapjack that was too crumbly.. how someone over the age of cough can't get those right...anyway..)

..so step son 12 and daughters 3... half term, this is all new to me.. I plan to treat him like an adult to a point, but theres the thing, to what point? Play it by ear people say, yes.... oh dear. It'll be easy to let my partner lead but saying that he will be working most days.

Stepson must like it here and must like me (to a point) then of course theres the balance between entertaining 3 year olds AND a 12 year old. So with all this from a newly stay at home Mum I thought I best join before I go mad.

Its very nice to sort of meet you all.

Very nice to meet you too. My first ever post was also in step-parenting...ahem...good luck!

Anyway...

I have a teenage DSD and have practice at doing this. My advice is to offer them to be included in whatever you do, but be prepared for a complete lack of enthusiasm. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are not interested, just that they are a teenager.

Don't expect him to want to wear a coat even when its freezing outside. Don't force the issue of breakfast. Teens appear to enjoy freezing and starving if they look OK.

You can't make them like you, but they probably will if you don't do anything outwardly evil.

Activities are a bit harder. I take all swimming - this fits every age nicely. See if there are any not too kiddy films on - last hols I took teen and 4 year old to see Shrek and that worked OK.

I would strognly recommend you don't have a programme of entertainments planned. What I have found is that DSD is generally happy to be texting mates, playing console games and watching TV with the odd trip to the shops and the couple of activities above.

Hope this is helpful, but I suspect I have been waffling

Forgot to mention we have a huge adventure playground near to us with a kids and teens bit, so they both enjoyed that. Do you have anything like that locally?

Also - our local sports centre does one day courses. DSD went on one of those once, but I'd make sure its definitely something they are interested in before booking.

Babyheave :) Thank you! Fantastic advice about not planning loads of entertainments I was getting close to falling into that trap. I'm probably too late to book any courses but think I best not in case he hates them. I'm so used to organising the girls... thanks for the help! :)

Swimming sounds perfect. (and cheap hurrah)

oh god babyheave I have just read your post here about teenagers freezing and starving and laughed so much I cried - that is SO true in my experience.. And the lack of enthusiasm... so v v true. We have to not take it personally!

"oh god babyheave I have just read your post here about teenagers freezing and starving and laughed so much I cried - that is SO true in my experience.. And the lack of enthusiasm... so v v true. We have to not take it personally!"

Exactly!!! Both my ds's & dsd to this.....

Get him involved with helping with the girls, swimming, lunch, playpark (even I like a wee shot in the playpark) as long as there's no-one around he has to look 'cool' for (ie his mates), he'll be fine. Just kinda involve him in your everyday activities. Hopefully he'll enjoy feeling useful and interacting with the girls.

He'll maybe want to chill out on the computer, watch a dvd for a while as well.

Ha ha ladydeedy I won't be practising lectures about vests before May or whatever it was I was told. :)

Thanks TrappedinSuburbia it'd be nice if he did sort of jell into the normal day but its more likely he'll be missing wifi connection if we range out of one, but I'm being unfair and hopefully everything will run smoothly.

Everything seems fine so far DSS has finally been shunted off to bed, a late one as its the start of half term holidays today. Nice dinner, everything went okay, he hasn't stayed before, but we have all taken holidays before as a family.

Fingers crossed. :)

Hows he doing today nogwells?