can mother ask for order to send child back?

[rimskykors]

first time posting, not sure if it should be here or elsewehre..
Dh's child lives with us (moved in 3 months ago). all fine, he's happy etc.
now exw (boy's mother) realises that financially she is going to be worse off. has asked for court to give residence order in her favour.
can she do that? will they agree? he doesnt want to go back. he's 14 and v mature. any thoughts?
she still gets the child benefit for him even though DH has applied for it.

You'll need to go to court, and your SS will need to explain that he doesn't want to live with her.

At 14 they'll listen to him.

OK thanks. am worried for him as she is v manipulative and bullying. she may try and force him to agree with her by threats. will he have to speak in court?

might help?

Thanks. Anyone else been in same situation?

Thanks. Anyone else been in same situation?

It's highly unlikely that mum would be given a residence order.

The 'paramouncy' principle for the child - the child's welfare is paramount - has to be adhered to and with reference to the welfare checklist of the Children Act (1989).

How is it in this chid's best interests for a residence order in favour of mum to be made? Residence/contact orders only run until a child is 16 so it is unlikely the Court would make an order anyway.

The child is gillick competent, and his wishes and feelings would be a strong factor.

If mum's motive is financial then that would obviously weigh against her.

Here's a suggestion - offer a shared residence order by consent, but with the child spending the majority of the parenting time with you guys. She can have alternate weekends and a mid-week tea-time contact like most fathers get!

Anyway, you should be getting on with the transfer of the child benefit to you as the child now lives with you. Heck, you could even make an application to the CSA for child maintenance if you so wish. Although this would probably spark off world war 3.

Also, have you had any communication fro mthe ex / solicitors / etc

How do you know the ex has asked the court. Has she made an application to Court?

world war 3 has already been sparked as DH has not paid her maintenance for him. Also he has applied for Child Benefit so we think she will have been contacted by now but he hasnt heard anything back yet. she seems to be trying to convince everyone that he hasnt moved out - DH contacted school to give new contact details but then exw phoned school to say son still living with her! same with dentist... so in many ways DH's word against hers!

we havent heard anything from court yet - but she has told son that she is going to ask court for residence order to "send him back" to her as she will struggle to live without the maintenance!
Great advice about offering shared residence - thanks - will go down that route if it comes to anything..

Do you have written evidence text/email to effect of she's struggling to live with the maintenance?

hmm, not written, just verbal. I guess that would help in court if there were some evidence along those lines. She is constantly texting DSD though saying that he is thoughtless, hurtful etc to have moved out, so there may be something in there...

i mean DSS (still getting to grips with the language on here!)

DH did email her a while back to say he would no longer be paying maintenance to her as son no longer living there. she emailed back to say she still expected to be paid as it had been agreed by court order. doesnt say she is struggling though...

thanks. and what if she disputes the CB? how do they decide/investigate to see where child is living? I am not sure, but seems like exw is delaying/ignoring any contact she has had from them, as husband had not heard anything on his application after several weeks and cannot get through on helpline... Unless they are just slow!

rimsky buy a voice recorder and tape all future convos with her, transcripts supported by audio will be accepted in court

mind you as mj and yerblurt said by the time this gets to court your dss will be nearly 15 and it woulnt get anywhere

self represent let her use a solicitor, it will cost her £100's. hehe, stupid woman

phew thank you. was getting a bit stressed out by it.
DSS getting stressed too as he's worried she can make him go back. as she has told him the court will side with her, as she is his mother and "knows best" and that they will force him to go. Oh dear.
thank you - feel very much relieved.

Do definitely talk to the school, this stress may be affecting him there. They may also be able to offer him some counselling, which may help reassure him. Or Connexions can help too.

thank you both. will stop worrying (although is difficult when she is so belligerent!). We'll remain cool and see what happens if/when it goes to court. good to know we dont need to spend heaps on solicitors.

get along to your local Families Need Fathers branch meeting, give your local branch chair a call/email as well.

You don't have to use a solicitor, you can self-represent and use a McKenzie friend. Your costs will be limited to the cost of any application (if you are the applicant - which it doesn't sound like you are), your own personal costs incurred and reimbursing your McKenzie friend for any costs he/she incurs (some charge a 'fee' some only charge their travel costs/lunch etc)