Joint Presents

[macadoodledoo]

Hi everyone - what are the perspectives on Mum & Dad buying joint birthday and Christmas pressies for the children when there are new partners on the scene?

My own situation is that I've been in a committed relationship with DP for three years now, and heavily involved with DSC (4 & 7) for the last two years.

If there's a joint pressie situation should it be only over a particular £amount? No joint pressies at all, the bio-parents and step-parents all together, just the bio-parents?? So many different options - what have you guys done?

Thanks in advance for any examples.

i think the presents should be from the parent and new partner, then something else from other parent.

unless it is a very large item in which case it comes from all adults taking a parenting role

Probably better to be split pressies, unless finances really required a joint one e.g. something expensive, but then you'd be asking where would it stay if its not mobile etc etc , personally stick with different homes option.

I may well be over-sensitive in this area but for me anything that my DH and his ex do together like that just increases my feelings of being the outsider. They're not together anymore and I don't think it helps the kids move on if the lines are blurred like this. I think presents from the parent and new partner together send the right message and it's nice for the new partner to be involved in the choosing and shopping - all helps to consolidate the new partners role in the family.

am with glasscompletelybroken on this one. Mum and Dad are not together any more. Wouldnt all go on holiday together for example, and time spent is generally with each parent (and new partner) separately so we buy as Dad and stepmum together, and mum buys from her. for one thing, we would never agree on the type of present tpgether if it were the three of us

We have always brought presents as a couple and DP's ex buys separately. We usually keep to the same budget so there is no competition. The only exception has been for special gifts when the kids have finished exams - DP and his ex go half on these because they are bigger presents than usual. This seems to work for us but usually I think having separate presents makes sense.

yes kids need to understand that the parents are different "entities" now and therefore presents etc are separate except when big reason to do club together

No no no, silly idea. Joint partys yep, pressie's hell no!

obviously depends on all the parties involved. As the above shows, do whatever suits your particular situation :)