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Wonderful Weekend

2 replies

macadoodledoo · 16/08/2010 23:12

I've not been on here in ages - things got really rotten for a while; but I wanted to update regulars with the fact that things are looking up (and a big thanks to those people who've offered me support in the past months), and also maybe give a bit of hope to anyone who is feeling as bad as I have in the past.

DSC, DP and I have just come back from a long weekend away and we've had a lovely time. We were away with a whole load of my family so I do recognise that because of that I felt secure, accepted, etc etc; but everyone integrated and got on well, the children were obviously feeling a little nervous meeting so many new faces, and so I got an insight into how much our step-family has developed - because they engaged with me really naturally, were sweet and affectionate.

I had a number of 'breakthroughs', especially with DSS who let me comfort him after a fall - even with DP just a few steps away (normally I'd be pushed out of the way so that he could go to Daddy if he was hurt or crying). It was DSD's birthday today and so we made the usual fuss with banners, balloons, badges etc and it was all just delightful.

Because we were on holiday and all the 'props' were there it was straightforward to engage with each other in a lovely happy way, but this has been a reminder to apply a test of 'reasonableness' when I'm feeling blue in normal life because there were really no dark sides to the whole weekend - my challenge now is to translate this good stuff into everyday everything.

I just wanted to post something positive (after all my moans and virtual crying!) - and remind myself, and people who are in a tricky place right now, that there's a hell of a lot of good stuff that can come our way - even if just for the odd weekend at first!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Suda · 17/08/2010 11:50

Just read your post and had to look back and see your history - so to speak! I am so happy for you as you have the opportunity when SC are younger to bond and it sounds like you have done that beautifully - trust me it is almost impossible when you meet them when they are already teenagers and I often wish I could have met mine when they were little - whilst there was still some scope to work on them - sorry that sounds absolutely awful but Im sure you know what I mean in a nice way. Also had you not sorted this out when they were younger it would have got ten times worse in their teenage years.
Very well done you ! You are living proof of the old saying 'you reap what you sow'.
They may never think of you as their mum - you may well not want them to! - but when your DSS comes to you with a problem cos he can talk to you easier than his parents or your DSD wants a pic of just you and her for her wedding album (which happened to a stepmum friend of mine - because her DSD said "you may not be my real mum but you are a very real friend"!) to go in with the usual both sets of parents etc. etc. then it will all have been so worth it.
Another bonus is that it can all only work for the good of you and your DH - he'll have another 2 reasons to add to the list of things I love about my wife - which Im sure is a long list already as you sound like a lovely lady - i.e. she loves my kids and they love her. All the best to you.

ladydeedy · 24/08/2010 18:58

So wonderful - really fabulous news. And a beautifully put response from Suda.

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