DSS is nearly 21 so you'll probably be wondering why the concern.
Unfortunately he's in a rut at home with his mum. He's flunked all his exams, has had to resit several times and wont put any effort into things. He has no hobbies or interests except TV / gaming and going online. His sleep pattern / eating is completely messed up so much so that he has started having epileptic fits.
He's very good at talking and reassuring people that he's doing ok and he keeps saying that he will do something about his career eg become a journalist, a mechanic etc but never makes any steps toward doing it. He also doesn't help his mum out at home or financially. She's recovering from a second bout of breast cancer, and they're fighting all the time, although she still pays for his upkeep and clothes. He's had one job in a shop for a couple of months, but apart from that has done nothing since he was about 11 yo. He seems to think that work or study is a joke but all his friends are out there at university or working and he seems to have been left behind by them.
We did think it was a phase he was going through but he's been like that for over 10 years now. We've been together for 9yrs so I'm not sure if the divorce could be to do with it or not. He likes feel sorry for himself and really emphasizes his epilepsy (which in reality is very mild compared to many other people - he's had around 2-3 fits in the last 2 years when he's been gaming for several night in a row). he keeps talking about his 'issues' although none of us know what they are. He was diagnosed with depression before and I think he was seeing someone for therapy but doesn't seem to have improved his symptoms.
His relationship with his mother is very difficult but it appears that she always supports him (against his father) even if it's detrimental to him. We did try and get him to come and live with us to help try and regularise his life and support him more with his school work but she said that he didn't have to do it. We think she might have slight issues with Munchhausen syndrome by proxy as she always indulges his 'headaches' - when he doesn't want to do something (like get up).
In contrast his younger sister (13) is doing very well at school and is popular and enjoys going out etc.
We're very worried about him and are at a loss as to what to do. His dad is scared that thing will end badly and that he may even eventually become suicidal.
Any advice would be much appreciated.