How to treat step mum..

[foureleven]

Im a step mum myself and on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being horrendous 10 being blissful) my relationship with DSDs mum is probably 3/4.

My daughter is 5 and her dad is now with a lovely woman after a string of crappy, trashy girlfriends.

She is making a real effort with my DD and I am most greatful.

Having experienced a difficult time from DSDs mother I am aware of never making this woman feel uncomfortable or pissed off about being a stepmum... but of course I still need to air grevences with DDs dad as he's a bit of a cock and needs reigning in often (a lot)

Any tips on how I can (not be her best friend) but make sure that mine and step mum's relationship is positive?

Just be friendly? Engage in conversations when you meet. I can't think of anything else to write lol

Me and DSD's Mum have a "positive" relationship, in that we are civil when we see each other, she will talk to me to pass information onto H if he isn't available, we're not rude to each other ... just polite. If you were a stranger and saw us together, you would never guess she had an affair with my husband ... so it can be done if both parties are willing to be amicable and friendly. Shame the relationship with your DSDs Mum is not better x

Thanks chochobnob, Maybe Im making too much of it. Its only cause I know how shit it feels to have a weirdo of an ex about.. guess im paranoid about being the weirdo ex!

Just be friendly and reasonable. I have an excellent relationship with DP's exW. We often sit and have a coffee and chat, we email eachother about the children (I have 2 DSSs, and 2 DSs from previous marriage) and other things. It is so helpful in many ways. Basically we both feel that as people we get on, we like eachother and we would have been friends if we had met in any different context - so just because I am DP's partner, and she is his exW, why shouldn't we get on? In fact, as he has loved and chosen both of us at different stages in his life, it is more likely we would get on than not (makes sense to me anyway!).

It helps that neither of us were involved in the breakdown of any of the previous relationships, of course. We have no awkward or difficult history but we DO have a shared interest in the welfare of the children.

It can work, and it can work very well.

Good luck to you!

My experience of this is that my husband doesn't want me to have any relationship with his daughter's mum, he wants us kept separate and ours lifes not to be intermingled. I have never met, only spoken on the phone once when she called the house. It seems weird as I see my ex husbands wife (he had affair with her) and discuss how my son has been when he visits them.