I'm currently pregnant with DC2, already have a DS who is 2.5 and a DSD who is 9 (almost 10).
My relationship with DSD is ok, not wildly close but we get on mostly.
I don't like some of her behaviour, but think this is true of most people never mind children, and try and remember this!
Basically my DH and I (been together six years and he had been separated from DSD's mum for two years when we met-never married) have a solid relationship with occasional grumbles, often about DSD and Dh's behaviour toward her; I think he regards her as his child, not a child of this family and he can be difficult about me questioning her behaviour, e.g. telling her to say please and thank you, asking why she isn't in bed yet at 9.30 on a school night.
These grumbles have intensified for me since being pregnant with DC2, (I am now six months) largely because I feel he regards her as separate from our family, i.e. that she needs special attention, shouldn't be subject to house rules etc when she is here (two nights a week one weekday and one weekend).
I understand that he wants to spend time just the two of them but think this will be increasingly difficult when we have DC2 and that he needs to prepare her for this in the way we are preparing DS (only in a more age appropriate manner). I am v fucked off that he is instead making her promises about every Saturday morning being their time together (don't mind this happening now every week or once DC2 is born on an ad hoc basis but do not relish being left with a newborn and toddler every Saturday morning) and saying he'll take her on holiday just the two of them.
I am also sick to the back teeth of her not saying please and thank you and that being excused, and her pulling the crocodile tears up routine every time I ask her to and then telling DH I've been mean and him taking this seriously, arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I think this is her reality, i.e. two homes with children born after her in each of them, and in the same way that I had to deal with rarely getting a parent's undivided attention (mum and dad still together and had younger sib) she just has to get on with it!
So AIBU and either way how do I manage this? (Oh and am not running away but need to bath DS, have just realised time, so may not be back for a while.)