Fine for 13 year old

[alwayswantchocolate]

My 13 year old played football in a match this morning. He’s been playing for years, never so much as a yellow card. He’s not a thug, never in trouble at school, there is no history of an issue. Today he tackled badly and his studs were deemed too high- everyone watching felt it was accidental. The referee decided otherwise and he got a red card out of nowhere for that one thing. No warnings leading up to it as there was no sign of an issue with his playing. I probably sound like my little child wouldn’t do something wrong while being blind to it but I don’t actually think that is the case at all.

We now discover that he not only has been banned from the next two matches (ok, well I accept that a punishment is attached to a red card, regardless of whether you agree with it) BUT apparently he is going to be fined somewhere in the region of £25-£50
depending on what they code it as.

Clearly a 13 year old doesn’t have an income so we as parents will have to pay it. This seems outrageous to me. Why is there a financial penalty for a child?! It’s not repeated offences - where even then I would have thought different non financial punishments would be applied like the missing x matches part.

on top of that, if we appeal it the fine is likely to be increased and we certainly won’t win apparently as the referee and his decisions will be protected for his good. And if we don’t pay it, the whole youth club of numerous teams will be banned from matches, which to me sounds like blackmail.

I’m so so cross that not insignificant financial penalties are being imposed on children. Am I being unreasonable?

Did your sons club not advise all the parents and players that cards and / or fines come into play once they get to a certain age? I think it's standard practice tbh, certainly happens in the 2 districts/ leagues my sons play in - from around u12/13?

Thats how football works. Players get a red or yellow card, you get a fine. Did the coaches not warn you about this?

My husband appears to be aware, yes,although it has passed me by. Regardless, it feels very wrong to charge an age group where they have no income?! Whether they did it or not. Surely the punishment should be something else?

I hope you haven't been undermining the ref?

Doesn't matter what everyone else thought, it is the ref on the pitch that matters.

Make him work off the fine but no I don't think it is unreasonable to have a monetary fine when the rules are clear.

You hope I haven’t been undermining the ref?! Where on earth have you got that idea from exactly? Of course not.

I’m very surprised to hear this but other posters don’t seem to be, and in fairness it seems that your DH knew. I don’t think your annoyance is entirely unreasonable but I’d still pay the fine.

I don’t think fines can be enforced on under 18s but the club could just drop the player if they refuse to pay.

it’s really annoying I know (my ds has had one too and he’s similar - well behaved well liked kid). However i’m looking from the point of view that fining players may reduce dangerous play so hopefully he’ll be less at risk of injury. Without fines I think many parents wouldn’t care if their kids got cards.

Well I'd be absolutely livid about that, especially since it is the first time he's ever had a card.

I'd also be having to restrain myself from telling them to fuck right off and stick their fine where the sun don't shine. There are way, WAY too many domineering adult men in the football world, and they seem to get a kick out of lording it over parents, and bullying & intimidating children. Nasty.

Going for a tackle with studs showinh is dangerous, accidental or not.

I imagine the club has a standard procedure for pretty much everything, including what constitutes a red card offence, and what the consequences are. It's impossible for them to enforce these procedures if they allow themselves to get dragged into discussions about "but it was just an accident".

It sounds like your son might have been a bit unlucky here, but maybe see it as he was actually lucky that no one was injured this time, and he certainly won't be doing it again. Live and learn and all that.

I’ll have to pay the fine because it would have a knock on effect on other children if I don’t, but that feels like pressurising me to do it which doesn’t sit well with me. It will be done through gritted teeth.

I think if he’d been doing it through the game or had a history of it I would agree. It was near the end and without any prior warnings. Yes I get it would be hard to decide but some common sense seems to be missing here.

Well yes I am livid, I would have thought there would need to be a progression to that or some history first.

My initial thought was not to pay it but it’s been pointed out to me that other children will suffer for it. I’m really over a barrel and will have to pay it.

if you explain your circumstances maybe the club will pay the fine, especially as it seems harsh and your son is a nice kid

There are two issues here

the first is that a high tackle with studs out is an immediate red card - it has to be because of the danger it can cause. Expecting a warning for this or complaining it came out of nowhere is not grasping just how dangerous it was regardless of intent

so the red card and match bans for a league with 13 year olds perfectly accpetable

the fine I agree is a separate issue and not so much

You would behave like that, towards volunteers, when your child has done a dangerous tackle?
Wow.

Op your initial post is where I got the idea from, and you deciding that 'common sense' is missing. You are undermining the ref on here, I hope you aren't in front of your DS.

I don't for one minute think what your son did was deliberate, but it was still dangerous, and he will learn from it.

There isn't prior warning to a dangerous tackle, it was judged on that moment. And that moment judgement is what matters.

Well one might hope but last week when he came home from a game his socks were covered in blood as the kid marking him kept stamping on his feet! No punishment for them!

I can see how if he's a good kid he'd be absolutely devastated. But it's honestly impossible for the club to start negotiating, because it just opens the flood gates for everyone to query every decision (I promise there are some who would question EVERY decision!) and it's just not feasible.

I run a school sports team, and it can be a really thankless task, there's always people moaning, and if I'm honest I literally can't always make the exact right call every single time. But the only way I can continue providing the opportunity for the children is if I literally block everyone out and refuse to even discuss it! (we don't hand out monetary fines though, tbf)

Plus you would have agreed to it when he joined.

Which they will because the club have to pay it otherwise. Common knowledge, my ds got sin binned, yellow and red cards. Club paid when he was little as long as it wasn't violent conduct. If his studs were up, accidental or not, he could have endangered his opponent

You are a very rude person. You have been rude to me and to another poster. I suspect you assume I would undermine the ref because it is how you behave as you are nicely demonstrating on this thread.

i am disagreeing with the penalties of youth football. There is nothing in my post to suggest I have said a single word to the ref, or about the ref whilst at the game, because I did not. Ido not however in my own time have to agree with the type of punishment. And what I say to my child is none of your damn business.

If you tell your child the ref was wrong you will be paying fines in the future.

You are disagreeing with something you have signed up for based on the actions of your son. To be livid about something you have agreed to is preposterous .

Now I remember why I used to accompany my son when he was a young ref… just quietly on the sidelines but always there. What a thankless task that was. Proud of him though.

Studs being too high can't really be accidental - you have to go in with a certain amount of intent, it's like a rush of blood to the head situation, it's not something that happens because you mis-time a challenge or go wrong technically.

That's why there's no progression of punishment - it's primarily a behavioural issue, he has to learn to control that impulsivity. It doesn't matter that it's just once, that can be enough to break the other player's leg. He's 13 so I'm sure he will learn but I don't think he's being unduly punished.

Missing a match was a fate worse than death when my son was playing. That's punishment enough. As he's not paying the fine it won't register. I agree it's not fair to have a monetary fine at all under 18, the parents have to pay it and it might make them think twice about having their child participate, especially as in your child's case it was an error rather than malicious.