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Sports

Whether you're into football, athletics, tennis, golf or cricket, join the dicsussion on our Sport forum.

Coach issues

4 replies

moshmoshi · 13/07/2023 04:16

My DS competes at a county level and recently has had a series of competitions. He hasn’t been on his best form due to revising for exams and not giving the sport as much priority as he previously did.

When he got home he was quite subdued, eventually we found out that there had been an incident where the coach had not been happy with DS’s attitude (fair enough) DS was shouted at and berated in front of other team members and basically spoken to like a naughty child. He is really upset about this especially because as the coach makes a big deal of saying they are treated like adults when they’re 18.

DS and a few others that witnessed it were quite shocked by the level and personal tone of criticism. It had been building during the event apparently and then seemed to explode. I can imagine DS doing some things that may have irritated the coach or the coach being annoyed because they felt DS wasn’t prioritising the sport and so they may have had very valid reasons to ‘tell him off.’ I think an older player would never have been spoken to like that though. It could have been dealt with by a firm but private word rather than a public, personal attack. Also if it is relevant DS is no longer one of the ‘favourites’ in the team.

He doesn’t know what to do now:
a -suck it up because that what coaches can be like.
b - address the issue politely with the coach which may risk his chances of being selected again
c- let me or his dad speak to the coach on his behalf (he is 18 but only a month ago)

He loves playing the sport and can avoid this particular coach in day to day coaching but will have to be on his ‘good side’ if he wants to be selected for this particular event again.

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Lastusernamecantthinkofanotherone · 13/07/2023 04:34

b - address the issue politely with the coach which may risk his chances of being selected again

and this is everything that is wrong with sport in this country.

my dc is also high level sport. The amount of sucking it up that happens because of the culture of fear that if they speak up, they risk upsetting the selectors, end of career. Even up to Olympians. Who are often even less likely to say anything as they also risk losing their funding.

sorry. No help. But it really pisses me off. Especially when I see double standards and “favoured” athletes can get away with all sorts, but if someone takes a dislike to you that’s you gone.

Bluesheeps · 13/07/2023 04:35

Is DS really as upset about it as you are? He’s 18….let him address it and be there to support the outcome

moshmoshi · 13/07/2023 04:51

It can be really tricky/toxic in lots of sports it seems. DS will never be really high level but has worked hard (until this last 6 months) to get as far as he has and plans to continue training and playing whilst at uni and then work.

I will support DS in whatever he decides but I worry that he may regret antagonising the coach by complaining (however politely he does it) and not get selected for this event again. At the moment he doesn’t want to do this particular event again but he may well change his mind and then he might have burned his bridges. On the other hand he should be able to stick up for himself. He is very upset and there were tears as he felt humiliated but he’s resilient so think he will be over it sooner than I will!

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moshmoshi · 13/07/2023 21:49

So when DS went to training today the coach apologised to him so at least that’s something.

Still has really altered my opinion of the coach- I used to think he although very strict and pedantic, was fair and didn’t have favourites, but it seems as if he has taken a real dislike of DS over the last event and for a few months before- I really didn’t think he was like that.

I don’t know if it’s performance or personality related. I have to admit I’m struggling with idea of someone disliking my DS. He can be as irritating as any teenager but he normally gets on so well with everyone, and is considered very mature, confident and driven. He is always spoken well about so being disliked/ found irritating or annoying will take a bit of getting used to for both of us!

I’m really not a precious parent but this whole thing has brought my protective instincts out and I can’t do anything apart from rant as he’s 18!

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