May I present my magnum opus? (or 'magnificent octopus' for Blackadder fans) It came up over 3 days. It was Christmas time so I put off going to the GP until the day after Boxing Day. I had a temperature and chills so knew I was heading for blood poisoning. I explained why I was there as I was taking off my top and the doctor (whilst tapping away on her computer screen) said (slightly reproachfully) they don't give out antibiotics willy nilly. She then turned to look and nearly dropped her prescription pad in her haste to start writing.
The day after things came to a head, so to speak, and I cannot describe the creamy, gooey flood of horror that emanated when my husband put the slightest pressure on it. The reservoir must have extended under my shoulder blade.
Several days of flowing and it was spent. This was a few years ago now, and I can still occasionally squeeze a little cream cheese from the pore.
Ah, the memories. I hope you enjoyed my tale, dear readers. Peace out.