Do you have questions about your DCs and online gaming? Ask HSBC UK's gaming expert Andy Robertson

[CeriMumsnet]

Online gaming is extremely popular amongst young people, however it doesn’t come without its dangers and risks, from overspending to identity theft. As part of their Smart Gaming initiative, HSBC UK is working in partnership with Andy Robertson, founder of Family Gaming Database to support parents and young people to better manage their money and stay safe when gaming. Andy is here to answer your questions about online video games.

• Everyone who shares a question on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw.
• One lucky Mumsnet user will win a £200 voucher.
• Andy will be back online to answer a selection of your questions.

About Andy Robertson Andy is a father of 3 and has 15 years of experience working with families and video games. He is a journalist who has written for Forbes, BBC, The Guardian and The Mirror. He wrote the Taming Gaming book and founded the Family Gaming Database resource for parents.

Here's what HSBC UK has to say
'Financial education at an early age can teach children important future life skills. If your child is gaming online, then it is essential that they understand key money concepts such as spending and budgeting. The challenge is to stay in control and keep track of spending which is not always easy when your child is in the middle of an exciting new game.

It’s also crucial that young gamers are made aware of fraud and what to look out for. Identity theft, money muling and account fraud are unfortunately part of the online world. The HSBC UK gaming hub includes tips and resources to help children stay safe while enjoying gaming, including animated videos on spending, identity theft and fraud.'

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!
MNHQ

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Hi @mumto2teenagers The research I have seen, and statements from Gambling Commission, suggest there is concern about in-game purchases and associations with gambling-style interactions. However, I’ve not seen any evidence that playing a video game makes a person more likely to become a problem gambler. Talking to your children and playing games together when they are young is key. This ensures they are empowered to spot the dangers from spending too much time in games, online identity theft and overspending. And make sure that parental controls are in place to support any gaming activity and keep your children safe.

You can view HSBC UK's smart gaming video here:

Hi @problembottom Depending on the age of your daughter, the important thing is to learn together. A good starting point is to watch this smart gaming video together. giving you and your daughter a good overview of what to be aware of:

If you want to get ahead of the game (literally) there’s support for parents too

Then start playing online together with video games that are simple and offer minimal interactions to enable you to learn together. This ensures that as she plays more online she will tell you if anything unsettling happens.
Along with playing together and keeping screens in shared spaces, ensure you have checked the parental controls on her account and applied the restrictions you want with who she can friend and talk to. Do this together and it’s a great way to talk about the potential dangers, and how she can enjoy playing online safely.

Hi @Delandra Discord is a private group conversation app that is designed for adults rather than children. This means that it doesn’t have parental controls that can be locked down like video game consoles. If your teenager is using Discord, ensure you talk about how they will use it with them. Who will they talk to and what will they do if someone interacts in a way that makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable? Using it together for a time to understand how it works is also a good idea. But also, it’s fine to say no, if you don’t think they are ready.

Hi @AGC21 The right age for a child to start playing games is different in each family. It depends on a range of factors. An important aspect is finding good games for them to start with. When you have a game that is designed with a very young player in mind, it can be a healthy and beneficial activity for children as young as 3 years old. Use a good list of games for young children and find a game you want to play together.

Hi @sharond101

The best approach is to talk to your son about appropriate limits. It sounds like he is using the devices for a range of activities which is a good thing. It can help to set limits between you about when he can message friends (perhaps not after a certain time), how long he can play games and how long he can spend watching things.
HSBC UK offer some great guidance on setting ground rules and what these limits and boundaries are with some top tips on what you can do to set parental controls. For example, you can set-up time limits on video game consoles and computers that automatically restrict how long and when he can access these things. You can also apply limits on your Internet Router if this isn’t a feature on a particular device.

Hi @Cotswoldmama Screen time is an understandable worry for many parents. But more important is to think about what they are doing on their screens rather than just the time in front of them. Like diet, we want them to have a balanced range of foods (we don’t worry about plate time, after all, but what’s on their plate).
This means you can agree with them on how much time they can spend each day doing different screen-based activities (gaming, chatting with friends, doing homework, watching videos). You can then set-up automatic limits on their console together, so it’s not just you policing them, but helping them do a wider range of activities. Once you have done this, you can add a PIN to ensure they can’t turn it off without asking you.

Hi @MumC2141 Gaming can be a really good opportunity to teach young people about money from appreciating the value of money through to setting a budget and being aware of fraud. The best way to do this is from a young age. Set up your console with a small monthly pocket money amount, or use gift cards. For older children, you can use the HSBC UK spending tracker to keep a record of what they are spending. It’s easy to get drawn into impulse purchases so this gives them a chance to reflect on these. Then play some online games together that have in-game purchases. You can then talk about whether what they bought is good value or not.
Some purchases will be a success and they will enjoy them. But also you can make some less good value purchases too, which inevitably teaches children how they need to think before spending as they have to wait until next month for more money.

Hi @Ablababla The best long-term approach is helping them to notice when they have spent too long. Talking with children from a young age and making a plan for how and when they play is a good step. Encourage them to think about if gaming is impacting their real-world life. Have they missed meal times, homework deadlines or going out with their friends, for example?
Also, a really powerful thing you can do as a parent is to play games together. Not only is this a lot of fun, but it’s also a way to demonstrate it’s not just that you don’t like gaming but that they need balance.
If things do get out of control then setting limits automatically on the console or router can be useful, but it’s important to see this as a short-term solution to get some breathing space. Rather than a long-term approach.

It’s important for them to link their gaming to real-world spend and value here. That this is real money not just a gaming currency that may simply not be available right now. Use the Cost of Gaming resource from HSBC UK to help them figure this out. Helping young people to understand just how much household costs have increased is a key step in talking about money and encouraging them to moderate their behaviours.
If gaming is still an option but at a reduced budget, some research can be really valuable. Use resources like this Video Game Bargain page to find bargains on games your children might want.
It’s also important to know that the majority of additional in-game purchases are extra or optional content. While there is a drive to access this because friends have it (like having the latest trainers when I was a kid), you usually don’t “need” it to play the game.
If you are impacted by the cost of living crisis there is support available which may help with your current circumstances.

Hi @AVT5 Most online video games require you to have an account. These accounts are usually only for children who are 13 or older. This means that you need to create the online account for your child, so must be aware of the settings around communication and privacy. It’s worth looking at the PEGI ratings to understand gaming content better prior to making any decisions.
If you do decide to let your child play online games earlier, it’s important that you do that (at least to start with) together. This enables you to make mistakes and learn the ropes before you “take the stabilisers off”.

Hi @Focalpoint Great question. While FIFA really doesn’t change a lot each year, the desire to get the latest games is around the new features they advertise for it, along with the latest clubs and kits. Also, to play online with friends on the new game you also need the latest version. Still, if you are playing in the family, the previous year’s FIFA is still great fun and can be really cheap.

Hi @lucy6058 A quick word on the computer. If it’s just those games he wants a gaming console could be more affordable and simpler option. More generally, there are some really good educational games (I have a long list here) available on PC and on Consoles. In fact, the nature of games means that some kind of learning is happening what ever they are playing. A good thing to do is to look for games that have challenges and learning not in their other games.

Hi @DinkyDaffodil I started gaming from the age of about 6. It’s always been an important part of my life and led me to a career writing about technology. It’s also been a good way for me to make friends with a similar interests. More recently it’s provided space for calm and self-reflection while I tinker away at something.
While I sometimes spend more than I should, as we all do, I’ve never had a problem with that side of things. I also now enjoy running and doing the crossword in the bath, along with plenty of other non-screen activities.

Hi @ItWasPeculiarButBearable

I think the issue is understanding what behaviour is being exhibited around the game. One approach can then be to help children communicate better what their frustrations are. Often there are other underlying stresses that emerge and can be talked through.
Agreeing on a plan for how long, where and when children play can ensure everyone knows they are on the same page. Providing children with time to finish the round or level they are on is also a good step.
Roblox has good parental controls both for interactions, but also for content as well (recently added). It has recently been changed to a “PEGI” rating that doesn’t relate to a specific age but is interpreted as PEGI 12 on console settings. If you are worried a good first step is to enable Restricted mode on your child’s Roblox account which limits the games they can play to those checked and approved by the game maker.

Hi @MardyMincepie The legal requirement to play a game is at the point of sale of the physical product. It’s not illegal to play a game if you are younger. If you see anyone acting in an inappropriate or abusive manner it’s important to use the game’s reporting tools so it is dealt with swiftly.

Is it true that it can cause some sort of issues regarding friendships in real life (face to face)? I used to play a lot of online video games as a child and I became a bit unsociable and now I’m thinking if that might be the reason…

I found it difficult restricting the types of games and time spent on them when their friends had no restrictions. Any advice on this would be appreciated as I always thought that I wasn’t up to date on gaming trends.

Is there research into how gaming affects mood and MH?
How will the findings be used to help or advise gamers?

Hi, tiger mum of 3 very protective but recently found out my 15 year old daughter is dating a 19 year old boy. Having battled with her about maturity I finally met him and he seems genuine and lovely. Something about it feels seriously wrong to me and I want to protect her but she seems to have her mind made up. What should I do?

Yes, I too would be very worried and at 15… surely you have quite a bit of control over her whereabouts?

Is there any correlation between violent games and real life violence

Hi!
My 8 year old son wants to play Roblox with his friends but the chat feature freaks me out, especially with the news recently that its being used to groom kids. How do I manage this situation?

This area makes me feel like the older mum that I am. My son plays roblox and has started complaining he can't buy things. Im a bit clueless and can't see the value in spending money on non-real things...but willing to learn about it. What are the most important things to know/be wary of with spending money online gaming?

If you are worried about online safety, who is it best to get advice from? A friends son was speaking to an adult male online and the police took what details they could but to my knowledge had no other advice than to 'keep an eye!' my friend is quite worried but seems to go from pillar to post...