Want to know more about supporting your child as they return to school? Ask the GDST’s expert Heads - £100 voucher to be won

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We know lots of you may be apprehensive about your children going back to school. The GDST (Girls’ Day School Trust) would like to know what concerns you have – and any tips you’ve discovered to reassure your children about their return to their classrooms. Three expert GDST Heads will be joining this discussion in a few days to answer your questions and address your apprehensions.

Are you anxious about your child’s safety back at school? Are you curious about how teachers will get children back up to speed? Have you got thoughts or questions about how to help children re-adjust to the formality and structure of school after the many months of home learning? Maybe your child’s teachers have absolutely smashed it so far, and you’d like to give them a shout-out; maybe your child is approaching a big transition in their education and you’d like to know how best to support them for public exams, or transition to a new school or college.

Here’s what the GDST has to say: “The GDST is a family of schools where girls learn without limits. We are the leading group of independent girls’ schools in the UK, with 23 fee-paying schools and two academies.

We know that parents want to support their children. Now, we’re working with Mumsnet to provide reassurance, advice and guidance to parents as we look ahead to the new school term."

Want to know who will be responding to your questions and comments? Find some information on the GDST’s experts below:

Claire Boyd is Head of Wimbledon High Junior School.
Claire has experience of teaching at every level of Junior education, including Reception and Key Stage 1. Before joining Wimbledon High, she was Head of Sydenham High Prep and, prior to that, Head of Lower School at Ravenscourt Park Prep School. Claire is dedicated to educating children to be the very best they can be, but always ensuring first and foremost that they are having fun and are happy.

Nina Gunson is the Head of Sheffield High School for Girls.
Nina studied Molecular Biology and, after a short stint as a recruitment consultant, trained as a teacher. She began her teaching career as a biology teacher, before becoming Head of Careers, then Head of Science, and rising to Assistant Head. She was Deputy Head at Sheffield Girls’ before moving to lead Wakefield Girls’ High School, and then returned to Sheffield Girls’ as its Head in 2018. Nina aims to instil a ‘can-do’ approach into everyone in the school community.

Emma Pattison is Head of Croydon High School
Emma hails originally from Lincolnshire, and is a Modern Languages specialist. A teacher of both French and Spanish, she went on to become Head of Year 8, Head of Modern Foreign Languages, and then a Deputy Head before joining Croydon High as Headmistress in 2016. Emma has led the school through a period of positive change and growth and is now facing the challenges of Covid-19 with the same energy and proactivity. Emma leads by example, with a caring approach and a commitment to help each student achieve their best, creating a nurturing environment in which they can flourish.

Whether you’ve got a burning question or a useful technique to share, let the GDST know by posting on this thread and their experts will join the conversation and try to address some of the queries raised.

All who post a question will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

My 13yo's school won't countenance the wearing of masks as the school has Deaf awareness status. While I can see the importance of this, the practical reality is that no one in his classes is Deaf, and in the corridors there is no need or opportunity for a Deaf child to read the lips of passing children. This means that even though the government guidance has changed overnight, unless we become a local lockdown area (we aren't at the moment), it will be at the Head's discretion and there will be no masks.

I think this is really unwise, given the WHO guidance about over-12s, the requirement for over-12s to wear them in other public places, and the experience of European schools, where mask-wearing has helped keep schools open even though community transmission is climbing again. I have skin in the game, as it were, since both I and another child of the family are medically vulnerable and really cannot risk catching Covid. (The other child's school are recommending - and now the guidance has changed will probably enforce - mask-wearing.)

The school is a mixed state comprehensive for 11-16yos. If you were our Head, what kind of approach from me would make you most willing to reconsider the matter of masks? My ideal would be for all kids to wear them unless medically unable, since the whole point of masks is that yours protects others rather than yourself.

My dd is starting reception next week. Due to a high risk family member, we have been restricting our movements and our interactions with others (although lots of outdoor activities). How do we manage the transition between seeing few people for the last 5 months to her being immersed in a classroom with 30 other children?

My DD has always blended into the background, leaving the stronger characters to get all the attention.
How do I help her push herself to be more confident, assertive, questioning in class and willing to sometimes shine?

@ButterflyOfFreedom

How are teachers going to deal with the fact that some children will have been doing lots of home schooling, others a little and some none at all meaning that they'll all be at wildly different stages? Thank you.

Hi @ButterflyofFreedom, This is a very good question indeed. This will vary from school to school and will depend on how much the school managed to monitor pupil progress during the period of remote learning. Even under normal circumstances, pupil progress relies on the expertise of teachers differentiating for the individual needs of pupils within their classes but this will be even more important over the coming months. Most schools will give some time to allow students to settle back into good routines and then will carry out formative assessments to identify students who may need some additional support. What form this takes will vary, not only by school, but will also depend on the Year Group - it won't be vitally important for all students to fill in all gaps in content learning, apart from certain subjects like Maths and unless they are in the middle of their GCSEs or A-Levels - the ongoing development of their skills is what is most important. If you are at all concerned about the progress your child is making after the first half term has passed, I would recommend getting in touch with the school and discussing this with them.

-Nina

@MutteringDarkly

I thought my usually anxious DD (9) would find a return to school really hard when they had a few days back in last term - they had to wear masks, and everything was very different as you'd expect. Different room, staggered breaks, sticking in a small bubble even for outdoor play, no group gatherings for lunch etc.

However - she was totally fine with it. I think the difference is that she completely trusts her teachers and her school, so on that basis she's happy to adapt to what they say is right. (A very big thank you to her teachers and head at a GDST school.) She is so excited to go back.

The main issue I can see is focus and concentration - they have been out of school so long, albeit with comprehensive home-learning. Is there anything I can be doing to help gently ease her back towards being able to get back into longer periods of concentrating?

Dear @MutteringDarkly, It was great to read your comment. It sounds as though your daughter is showing immense resilience and adaptability. We have seen this in so many of our girls and I am incredibly proud of them. I am afraid that I am not going to share any pearls of wisdom with regards to helping your daughter rebuild her ability to concentrate for periods of time again, but I hope that I can reassure you that she will quickly readjust to school routines. Each year we see students take the first few days, and even weeks, settling back into routines and behaviours after the summer holidays and, this year, this will be amplified somewhat. Your daughter's teachers will quickly provide structure and set expectations, but will also provide patience and perseverance as the students get used to focusing again. I am sure that you will be surprised how quickly this will happen though. I hope she has a super start of term!

-Nina

My youngest son is 7 and has always told me he hates school and doesn’t want to go as he has no friends. His teachers have always said he is active, engaged and doesn’t seem lonely Or off by himself.

Since he has been home for 6 months I expect him to say he hates school more than ever.

He has taken part in the school’s friendship program and joined after school activities but these are all cancelled now.

How do I support him into a healthy And rich school experience?

My daughter will be starting year 10 next week. She struggles with social anxiety at school, so lockdown has been a safe haven for her! Over the past few weeks even though I've continually encouraged her to meet up with her close circle of friends she hasn't done so, and therefore will be going back to school with only seeing her one best friend since March.
She doesn't appear overly anxious about this, and is looking forward to getting back to lessons (apart from the social side of school, she does really ejoy learning) however I forsee it hitting her as it gets closer and over the first few weeks back while she readjusts. How can I best support her with this? In the past her anxiety over being in assembly/working in groups/making a presentation/eating in the lunch hall without her best friends etc have made her physically ill.

Many Thanks

My daughter has special needs and was finding the transition of home-school very difficult from Jan last year. I wonder if there are any techniques you would suggest for making that moment of going into school easier for her?

@stitchandbitch101

My DD is at a GDST school and I'd just like to thank her teacher for her continued support over the past few months. What will be the rules during PE? I want them to continue swimming for example but it'll be challenging.

Dear @Stitchandbitch101

It's really kind of you to thank your daughter's teacher, it means so much when parents are appreciative!

Each school will have different rules for PE and I know a few (including mine) are saying that you need to come in in PE kit on the days you have it. The problem here is that social distancing is really challenging in changing rooms. I'm afraid we have had to rule swimming out for the time being, certainly while pupils get used to the new rules and regimes. I do hope we can return to it soon! You might just have to hold off on the swimming, therefore, but your school will let you know, I'm sure, in due course.

With regards to other sports, we are proceeding more or less as normal but without the fixtures, which we don't think we can realistically manage at the moment because of the social mixing this presents. However, within bubbles and with good cleaning routines, we are happy with arrangements for other sports, so your daughter might be able to enjoy good levels of participation. This will, of course, depend upon space, facilities, numbers and the level of risk on the risk assessment - it can't be the same for all schools, sadly.

-Emma

@HelloDulling

My son is about to go into Year 13, so the pressure is on for UCAS applications. With few open days happening - other than virtually - I’m worried about how he’s supposed to choose where to apply.

Hi @HelloDulling, Yes, this is a real worry for my Year 13s as well. This is a tricky one as they will want to go and look around themselves, rather than virtually, I'm sure before making the final decision. We haven't had any indication from UCAS that they are going to extend the choices beyond the usual 5. This would help because it would allow them to narrow the choices down from online tours and discussions and then do the visits later on when they are able to. To be honest, this is probably my best advice for you, alongside leaving the applications as late as possible to see if there is an opportunity to visit later on (deadline is usually in January, despite most schools - including mine - wanting to get it done long before that, for lots of good reasons.) The other thing to consider is that nothing is stopping you going and having a look around a town / city / outside of the campus - it gives you a feel - and alongside online research, this might be all you can do.

-Emma

@Nic165

Will schools recap on learning missed from the previous year? How can they best deal with the differing levels now among children in the same class who adapted differently to homeschooling and therefore will have learnt more or less as a result?

Dear @Nic165, This is a common query from our parents too so you are not alone! I can't speak for your school but there will undoubtedly be more 'baseline' types of tests alongside revision and recap sessions built into the Scheme of Work. If it helps to reassure you, teachers often expect their pupils to have forgotten a lot over the long summer break anyway and are used to building in revision and testing early on to get them back into routine, back on track and building confidence. I hope all goes well for the start of term!

-Emma

@greengreengrass14

In my daughters peer group going in to year 11, I am aware over lockdown that many family constellations have been experiencing bereavements, family split ups, financial strain etc.

Counselling services are mythical in secondary schools at the moment. What steps can we expect from the government (if any at all, given their obvious lack of integrity and back tracking on just about everything) to address this, and what pressure might heads bring to bear to steer them in the right direction?

thanks

Dear @greengreengrass14 Thank you for your message - supporting pupils who have been affected in the way you describe is on everyone's mind and our hearts absolutely go out to them.

As a group of private schools, we are not well placed to comment on what is available from the government, I'm afraid. I was a governor at a local maintained school until recently - a truly wonderful and supportive school with a good counselling service, as I recall. However, when our own counselling service (which worked with pupils throughout lockdown) referred pupils to services like CAHMS, we were met with overwhelmed resources and waiting lists longer than the pupils sometimes had left at school. It's a huge worry in this climate. We certainly work closely with the services available and I'm sorry to say that petitioning, hard, for the support pupils need is sometimes necessary.

It's very difficult to say what heads can do besides petition for individuals, write to MPs, and ensure the very best provision within their own schools to support the problems we see where we can. It is also true to say that some of what schools see requires more support than they can reasonably offer.

I'm not sure where you live but it's perhaps interesting to know that in all my dealings with the different services available, I've been so incredibly impressed with the dedication, knowledge and skill set of those working with my pupils. Understanding and supporting mental health has come on leaps and bounds in recent years and the right person in front of the right kid can make a substantial difference to his/her future. What a job, and what a privilege! They deserve all of our support and praise. You are right to encourage heads to bring to bear pressure in this arena. I take your post as a call to arms!

With best wishes for your daughter's peer group and all pupils returning this September after a traumatic lockdown.

-Emma

@SoupDragon

I have no worries about my daughter returning to school as the situation since March has been handled with such calm and smoothness that you would think they dealt with pandemics all the time. I imagine it is a classic case of swans gliding serenely down river whilst paddling like mad underneath but I have no doubts that the return to school will be handled just as well as the closed period was.

The head of her school is one of the experts on this thread...

Dear @SoupDragon,

How lovely of you to say so! I speak regularly to the GDST Heads and so, to speak on their behalf for a moment, let me say thank you! I can also say that the mutual support of belonging to a group like GDST means that we all share ideas, resources and strategy and this helped a lot. The GSA (Girls' School Association) were also really supportive. Thank you for your confidence in the return, also. At my school, certainly, I do feel that we are ready and just have a final few physical things to put in place. All that said, I'd probably put myself in the gliding serenely but paddling like mad underneath!

I hope your daughter has a great return to school!

-Emma

@ConquestEmpireHungerPlague

My 13yo's school won't countenance the wearing of masks as the school has Deaf awareness status. While I can see the importance of this, the practical reality is that no one in his classes is Deaf, and in the corridors there is no need or opportunity for a Deaf child to read the lips of passing children. This means that even though the government guidance has changed overnight, unless we become a local lockdown area (we aren't at the moment), it will be at the Head's discretion and there will be no masks.

I think this is really unwise, given the WHO guidance about over-12s, the requirement for over-12s to wear them in other public places, and the experience of European schools, where mask-wearing has helped keep schools open even though community transmission is climbing again. I have skin in the game, as it were, since both I and another child of the family are medically vulnerable and really cannot risk catching Covid. (The other child's school are recommending - and now the guidance has changed will probably enforce - mask-wearing.)

The school is a mixed state comprehensive for 11-16yos. If you were our Head, what kind of approach from me would make you most willing to reconsider the matter of masks? My ideal would be for all kids to wear them unless medically unable, since the whole point of masks is that yours protects others rather than yourself.

Hi @ConquestEmpireHungerPlaugue,

Whenever a parent feels strongly about an issue that affects their child, it is incredibly important they have the chance to be heard and understood. Your question about the best approach you can take to change school policy is very sensitive one. My advice would be to re-frame how you engage with the issue; instead of being fixed on a clear outcome from the school, i.e a policy change, focus on ensuring you have a sound understanding of what has informed the school's decision making to this point. Are there additional factors or aspects to their rationale that have not been shared or understood? Starting from a position where you are seeking to better understand a policy approach is more likely to help you reason and communicate your own position strongly; your thinking may change, but it is also possible that the school will show greater flexibility moving forward.

One thing you can be certain about, is that your child's school will not have made the decisions they have lightly. Engaging in calm, measured communications that recognise the challenging times all schools and all families are facing are most likely to find a pathway through the variety of challenges posed by the reopening of schools.

-Claire

@Holyforkingshirtball

My dd is starting reception next week. Due to a high risk family member, we have been restricting our movements and our interactions with others (although lots of outdoor activities). How do we manage the transition between seeing few people for the last 5 months to her being immersed in a classroom with 30 other children?

Hi @Holyforkingshirtball,

This will feel like a big shift for you and your family after being so cautious over recent months. My advice would be to see the ‘starting school’ transition phase as starting now, rather than on the first day of term. Try to find some time for your child to have some time away from you (or whoever her main caregiver has been) so that she has some experience of separation before the first day of school. Make dry runs of the journey to school and see if you can safely meet up with some of the other pupils that will be the same bubble as your daughter so that being amongst other children again will start to feel more familiar; can you visit a local playground?

The fact that your daughter is joining Reception could not be better in many ways, as her teachers will be experts in settling young children into new routines and will therefore be very sensitive to how the start of school will be feeling for you and your daughter. Make sure you obtain information from your daughter’s school about how they will be mitigating danger and risk assessing the school environment; this knowledge will be reassuring I am sure and help you feel confident that they will be doing all they can to keep everyone safe. I hope it goes well for you!

-Claire

@Holyforkingshirtball

My dd is starting reception next week. Due to a high risk family member, we have been restricting our movements and our interactions with others (although lots of outdoor activities). How do we manage the transition between seeing few people for the last 5 months to her being immersed in a classroom with 30 other children?

Hi @Holyforkingshirtball,

This will feel like a big shift for you and your family after being so cautious over recent months. My advice would be to see the ‘starting school’ transition phase as starting now, rather than on the first day of term. Try to find some time for your child to have some time away from you (or whoever her main caregiver has been) so that she has some experience of separation before the first day of school. Make dry runs of the journey to school and see if you can safely meet up with some of the other pupils that will be the same bubble as your daughter so that being amongst other children again will start to feel more familiar; can you visit a local playground?

The fact that your daughter is joining Reception could not be better in many ways, as her teachers will be experts in settling young children into new routines and will therefore be very sensitive to how the start of school will be feeling for you and your daughter. Make sure you obtain information from your daughter’s school about how they will be mitigating danger and risk assessing the school environment; this knowledge will be reassuring I am sure and help you feel confident that they will be doing all they can to keep everyone safe. I hope it goes well for you!

-Claire

@NauticalDisaster

My youngest son is 7 and has always told me he hates school and doesn’t want to go as he has no friends. His teachers have always said he is active, engaged and doesn’t seem lonely Or off by himself.

Since he has been home for 6 months I expect him to say he hates school more than ever.

He has taken part in the school’s friendship program and joined after school activities but these are all cancelled now.

How do I support him into a healthy And rich school experience?

Hi @NauticalDisaster,

I can absolutely appreciate your keenness to support your son as he returns to school. As the start of term approaches, find ways to engage him in conversations about the elements of school he will enjoy when he is back (those that are not centred on his friendships); are there particular aspects of the curriculum he particularly enjoys or teachers with whom he has a connection? Once you have been able to elicit these thoughts, find a way to share them with the school and his new class teacher so they are aware of how important they are in the course of the school day. If these elements are experienced positively, they will strengthen positive associations with being in school.

It will also open up the opportunity to find ways for him to work on or engage with these areas of the curriculum with others, rather than alone. The next thing to consider is that not all children have the same experience or expectation of friendships and spending time with their peers in school. If his teachers perceive his is active, engaged and doesn't present as lonely at school, is it possible to ascertain what he thinks ‘having friends’ means? Does he associate it with having one very close friend or having a big network of friends? Understanding what he is looking for or understands by friendship may allow you to talk about how to look to build up some of these relationships with his peers. After such a long break away from school, it is going to feel like a fresh start on so many levels which may be the perfect opportunity for your son to form new connections with the other children in his bubble.

-Claire

@Gazelda

My DD has always blended into the background, leaving the stronger characters to get all the attention. How do I help her push herself to be more confident, assertive, questioning in class and willing to sometimes shine?

Hi @Gazelda,

Thank you for your question. I receive questions like this quite regularly, often from parents who are quite confident themselves and are perhaps a little frustrated that their own child isn't as willing to assert themselves. I do not know how old your daughter is but she may never feel comfortable taking the lead in group situations or being the centre of attention. Sometimes those with more introvert personalities just need time and space to find their own ways of contributing comfortably.

I am confident that there will be areas that your daughter shines at school. The best thing you can do for her is provide lots of positive reinforcement to ensure she has good self-esteem. Confidence presents differently in different individuals but as long as she feels happy and good about herself, I am sure she will thrive. I hope this helps and I hope your daughter enjoys being back at school amongst her friends and teachers.

-Nina

I have read several reports of the negative impact of the pandemic and lockdown on children’s mental health. As a family we also experienced some tough times in the last few months, including the whole exam debacle and traumatic loss of a family member. Now the new term is about to start, one of my DC, who is in secondary school, has said they preferred homeschool, 2 were happy to do schooling online and seem equally okay about going back and the youngest is a little apprehensive about how it will all work, but still really excited about getting back in the classroom with all her friends.

What is your best advice for parents and schools to support the mental health of children and teens returning to a formal school environment? How can we offer reassurances to male them feel safe and confident moving forward, when there is still so much uncertainty?

How are you going to ensure the smart well-behaved kids who kept up with their school work over lockdown aren't going to be penalised by being made to repeat work whilst the children whose parents couldn't or wouldn't support school work catch up?

Would you recommend resitting / delaying a year for those approaching exams? 17 year old gone from A/B predictions to no input for 5 months and E grade predictions at A2. How likely is this going to be resolved in 2 years time academically?

We have been shielding for 6 months and are now faced with sending our 4 year old to reception, he has various issues and from what I've read from the school, I won't be able to talk to the teacher at all, just drop him off and leave, same at pickup. It's making me quite anxious, I don't want to be "that parent" and make a fuss but is it out of order to want to know how my child is doing?

Hi! Another happy GDST parent here! Just wanted to thank you all, DD has been fully engaged in the excellent at home provision since day 3 of lockdown. The staff clearly learned and improved techniques over the first period, and I genuinely believe her education hasn't been impacted at all!

The only thing I'm anxious about is what might happen if there's another lockdown. I'd like to know what they plan to do so I don't need to worry about it and being thinking of all the what ifs