Tech bosses won’t let their own kids on social media - so should the rest of us?

[BeckyAMumsnet]

Every few years, parents are told the same thing - manage your children’s exposure to addictive social media platforms better.

But in 2026, many of us are spending hours every week trying to out-engineer global tech companies with infinite budgets, addictive algorithms, and platforms that change faster than any set of family rules ever could.

It’s worth remembering that many of the people who built today’s social platforms don’t let their own children use them freely. Senior figures in Big Tech have spoken openly about restricting or banning smartphones and social media at home, citing concerns about addiction, mental health, and attention.

So when parents are told to “just manage it better”, are we being asked to do the impossible?

With the government consulting on a social media ban for under-16s, stronger national rules could give families the support and clarity they’ve been missing — easing the pressure on parents trying to hold the line alone.

We’d love to hear from you:

• Is it realistically possible for parents to manage social media safely at home, across multiple apps, devices and with constant peer pressure?
• Have parental controls worked as a long-term solution, or only provided temporary breathing space?
• Would a ban help by setting a clear boundary for everyone — making it easier for parents to say no, and harder for platforms to target children?
• For those who have kept social media out of their child’s life so far, how much effort has it taken — and would stronger rules make it easier?

Share your thoughts below for a chance to win The Other Phone worth £279. One lucky winner will be chosen at random. Enter by 28/02/2026.

I can see both sides of this. On one hand, expecting parents to manage children’s social media use entirely on their own does feel unrealistic. These platforms are deliberately designed to be addictive, they change constantly, and they operate at a scale no family can compete with. Parental controls can help, but in our experience they tend to offer breathing space rather than a long-term solution especially once peer pressure kicks in.

On the other hand, I’m not convinced a blanket ban is a complete answer either. Some children use social media to maintain friendships, especially if they’re isolated, neurodivergent, or don’t fit neatly into school social groups. There’s also a risk that bans simply push use underground, making it harder for parents to have open conversations or notice when something’s going wrong.

That said, I do think stronger national rules could shift the balance in a helpful way. Clear, consistent boundaries would make it easier for parents to say no without feeling like the odd one out, and they would reduce the power platforms currently have to target children. Even if not perfect, shared rules might lower the temperature and give families more space to make thoughtful choices rather than constantly firefighting.

Ultimately, this doesn’t feel like a problem that can be solved by parents or government alone. Families still need to guide, support and talk to their children but it’s hard to do that well when the system itself is stacked against them.

Yes it’s perfectly possible - we have teens and neither has access to any form of social media and because we’ve explained why, they are happy with that. They see their friends getting obsessed with it, and don’t want that for themselves. We have agreed no social media at all until they are 16 and preferably 18. One of them has already said they don’t ever want SM accounts, and the other is undecided currently as to whether they will use SM when they are an adult or not.

In terms of how easy it is, we just talked to our children about it when they were starting secondary and getting their first phones. They have pretty strict rules on usage and content (no YouTube, no access to internet browsers etc) and they completely understand why.

The social media owners know the exact effort and psychology that goes into making social media addictive. That’s precisely why we should pay attention and keep our kids off.

It is perfectly possible to have social media without the addictive elements, but there’s no obscene profit in that so here we are.

These Social Media bosses are the spawn of the devil as far as l am concerned and piss takers supreme.

It's alright to make billions out of other people's kids with their sick manipulative media trash but not their own little darlings.

They should be taken to task big time.
But they have most global governments in their pockets.

My son aged 12 said he didn't use it because "people only use it for bullying and sending dicpics" so he wasn't interested.

Age 17 he communicates with his mates via games console, text only and seems completely unbothered by the whole subject.

It is very difficult. I think banning to under 16s is a bit of an overkill. A lot of kids would be able to get past it anyway. Perhaps a ban to under 14s would be good

It’s difficult, especially when their friends are allowed it, but I’ve explained why I don’t want them on it and am sticking to it.

I can't not let my kids have social media. All their friends have it and without it they would be left out of the social loop altogether.

I thought social media was fun and fine in the 2000's with fun content, games and messaging friends - not it's such a damaging forum for any child to take part in - with AI - extreme views and fake news - my DC's won't be having it installed in their phone.

I think we should go the 'Australia' root - social media has got too addictive, totally out of control, with very few (if any) controls to be a gatekeeper of content and who can use it.
Let children be children without this distraction.

I know my older children (they told me recently) always found a way around turning the modem off in the evening, so with my younger ones, and the fact social media - can be a good place yes, but more often a vile place with hidden predators and AI, I will and do closely monitor phone use, and any messages sent, and friend requests - the genie is out of the bottle so to speak with social media, I'd ideally like Facebook and Instagram to have a lot more scrutiny of ages of users, and increase moderation of posts.

As well as not allowing my children to have social media until as late as possible I also didn’t share anything about them on my own social media.
Children having social media is bad, adults who are aware of the harmful effects and share so much about young children - medical conditions, bath photos, birth details etc are just as bad.
We need to lead by example.

With my older DC, I am really at a loss with how to navigate the use of social media with facebook and instagram. I would like them to be able to interact with their close friends, but have the settings to be able to restrict unwanted pictures, adverts and spam on their newsfeed. I had facebook as a teen, and just played farmville and castleville and sent swapped things I needed with friends - how the world has changed since that time sadly.

I don't think it is realistic to manage social media 100%, because it doesn't just include IG and Facebook, but also places like Reddit and Youtube. In this day and age where kids tend to do the opposite of what they're told and look for loopholes, it's very difficult.

Parental controls work to a certain extent and not a long term solution because you also don't want your kid to hate you. I think a lot of it is to do with upbringing too.

I think a ban would help but again I don't think it's 100% foolproof. Kids are always going to find a way around it.

I think social media is a stain on the world. I speak from experience. Yes, there's good that comes from it, but also a lot of evil. I think what needs to be done is it all needs to be policed and it needs to policed properly.

Parental controls I feel only work short term without any proper education. Using social media in the correct way and teaching that to your kids alongside parental control might work. In the end, I do think it should be limited as kids should be less on the phones and tablets and more into the outdoors.

I think social media is huge and has an adverse affect on kids and their growth. I don't just mean in terms of learning, but also how someone functions in society.

It's definitely possible to manage at home, however it shouldn't be a case of leaving it to the last minute but as part of their overall education.

I prefer to limit social media as much as possible. It's difficult because you get isolated as some useful/practical information is on it, but I have encouraged my dcs not to depend too much on it

I used to think I had all the parental controls sorted but they tell me now they are young adults that they all used VPNs to bypass parental controls! I didn’t know what a VPN was years ago…
we’ve had the most issues with my 18 year old when he was around 13/14/15 what’s app arguments, kicking each other out of chat groups. Discord has also been a constant cause of issues. I don’t have these issues with his older brothers who are 5 & 10 years older.

I think social media management and concerns and how to behave should be both taught at home and school. The positives and negatives. A blanket ban is great but then they turn 18 have no awareness and it still can be awful

We banned all social media except for WhatsApp for ours (and now that WhatsApp has its AI search function and Channels, I wish we could ban that too). Most of our DC were fine with our decision and were never particularly interested in SM. One is still furious and resentful with us and I don't think she'll ever forgive us.

I don’t think that’s any different to other things we generally don’t allow until adulthood.

I think maybe 16, not 18. By then a lot of them are in sixth form or at colleges and are becoming a bit more mature. Getting access to smart phones even at the end of primary is just madness. We’ve had so many fights with two of our children about screen time, what others are allowed. It’s all just so toxic. Two have been fine but they are the most mentally strong anyway. As with so may other things, social media is so much more addictive to those that are least able to cope with them.

There's some really interesting research coming out of Cambridge that might offer a middle ground between an outright ban for under-16s and just leaving things as they are.
Researchers there have been working with psychologists and psychiatrists to develop an algorithm that gives teens real-time support when they're being exposed to toxic content. So rather than waiting for parents or schools to pick up the pieces, it steps in at the actual moment a young person encounters something harmful - and it's completely free to the user.
I have to say, as a dad, I find this genuinely hopeful. While the social media giants and politicians are busy arguing with each other (and frankly getting nowhere fast), at least someone is actually trying to do something practical for our kids right now.
Has anyone else seen this? Would be interested to know what others think - whether something like this would actually make a difference or whether we'd all rather just have the ban.

I really hope the tide is turning with the use of social media and how much it effects children - let children be children and protect their innocence as long as we can. When I was younger it was far more innocent - and AI was not even considered - I really do not know what to belive any more

We found this topic a hard one because it is hard being strict when other children are allowed to use social media. We made use of parental controls when our son was younger but have relaxed them slightly.