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Tell us something you wish you knew when you became a new parent - £200 Boots voucher to be won

150 replies

MaddyMumsnet · 16/08/2023 09:19

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  • Post your products/stories/challenges/tips in the thread below to be entered into a prize draw
  • One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice.

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*T&Cs apply. For full terms and condition, please visit here

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!


Insight T&Cs apply
OP posts:
Beach11 · 16/08/2023 17:26

Ignore all the advice given and articles you read, every baby is different. You need to do what works for you & your baby.

cancan678 · 16/08/2023 17:27

Your baby is unique. What works for someone else probably won't work for you. Does not mean you are doing anything wrong

chocopuffs · 16/08/2023 17:34

I wish I'd known it was ok to say I wasn't enjoying being a parent and I didn't have to 'treasure every moment' or feel like I was 'loving the newborn bubble'. When I did open up about it much later I found out others felt the same, but were also afraid to admit it.

FrillyGoatFluff · 16/08/2023 18:14

Babies come pre-fitted with a hydraulic dispensing system, which can propel poo a frightening distance.

Therefore, never stand within striking distance. You will get got eventually.

HayleyBay · 16/08/2023 18:24

I wish I'd known my time with him was going to be so short.

custardcream1000 · 16/08/2023 21:56

That the 1st year can feel relentless, and, in retrospect, the toddler years are a doddle compared to the teen years. Enjoy the years where you can distract an almighty tantrum with a single chocolate button. For some reason, my teen gives me dirty looks when I try this strategy with him now.

Don't waste time worrying about what others think when your baby is screaming in the supermarket or your toddler is throwing themselves on the floor. People are probably looking at you in solidarity, not to pass judgment.

That personality plays a huge role in your baby/child's temperament. My children are all so different despite having broadly the same parenting approach. Cut yourself some slack if your child's a bad sleeper, a screamer, a runner etc.

Just remember that every stage passes at some point.

You won't use half of the baby paraphernalia you are told you need. Start with the basics (cot, bedding, car seat, changing mat, pushchair, sleepsuits, basic baby bath/foam mat) and then add anything you feel is missing, or the things that your baby enjoys/tolerates/finds soothing.

A normal bag works perfectly well as a changing bag, with the bonus that it can be used for years to come.

Karmaismyboyfriend · 16/08/2023 22:33

I wish I'd known that the instant rush of love feeling doesn't happen straight away for everyone and it doesn't mean you're a failure if all you felt was fear. I was 15 and felt like I'd failed before I even began. My baby is now 18 and after those first few days/weeks of panicking we settled into the new normal just fine and she is adored 

PashleyB · 16/08/2023 22:42

Babies are portable - you can still go out for dinner with your OH in the early weeks. Also cuddling a baby all afternoon is a perfectly acceptable use of time!

Rummikub · 16/08/2023 22:53

That breastfeeding doesn’t come easy. Dd1 and I both had to learn.

Swaddling was useful to keep her calm.

Agree with op toddler years easier than teen years in many ways.

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 16/08/2023 23:38

That yes babies do sleep a lot...but not when put down. I had so much planned for my first maternity leave and genuinely didn't appreciate how all consuming having a baby would be..

sharond101 · 17/08/2023 19:59

Life doesnt stay the same, everything changes. Enjoy all the cuddles and moments that you spend with your baby. You don't realise at the time but it's the small moments that create the big memories.

TooBusyGazingAtStarss · 17/08/2023 20:28

I wish I knew about all the different types of milk available and signs to spot an intolerance.

Would have helped massively to be more aware.

Itsgottobeme · 18/08/2023 03:47

ask for help. your loved ones really dont mind. theres no burden, no shame.
its not all a cute baby bubble.
you dont no and never will need to "bounce back"
people tell you to get things down when they sleep. dont worry. this can rarely happen as they cling to you like glue.
every body and baby and family set up is different. yes get advice,tips. but never think you have to do a way that feels wrong to your little clan.
dont worry. sometimes it can feel too much. that doesnt make you abad mum or ungrateful. it means this is huge. dont spiral. just ground yourself.take deep breathes and try again.
bowl food. have things that you can eat with one hand.
dont read articles on sm about what you should do or compare to mothers or celebs on there. sm has become the norm but its isnt the reality. so curate what your viewing and never compare to what is often fake,paid for or s snippet. and often lives you watch are ones with every access to every thing they could possibly need.

SequinsandStiIettos · 18/08/2023 04:01

I wish I'd known about barrier cream for DC1 earlier - metanium helped us/sudocrem when older, about nipple cream before breastfeeding - Lansinoh was my saviour, about nursing tea (has fenugreek in) and that I needed to introduce bottles earlier than 8 weeks if I wanted to do mixed feeding (ended up ebf).

WalkiesAndBiscuits · 18/08/2023 07:06

You do you, ignore any advice that doesn’t feel right to you (it probably wouldn’t work anyway - every child is different). You’re not alone if you’re finding things hard, there is always somebody else going through the exact same thing as you. You’re doing a wonderful job!!!

MindPalace · 18/08/2023 07:12

That if babies don’t sleep, it’s not your fault.

That if you can’t breastfeed, it’s ok not to - you’re not a failure.

That babies will get bigger and that for the most part, it does get easier.

The3rdWatermelon · 18/08/2023 13:15

That your own body will surprise you, both at how resilient it can be, and how fragile.

That not only might you not feel a ‘rush of love’ instantly, but you might not even feel pleased, relieved, or remotely happy, no matter how many years you’ve spent desperately wanting that baby and going through IVF hell to get it. Your first thought May well be “oh god what have I done?” But that the love will come, and it will be ok, in the end.

Your birth trauma is valid and you are allowed to feel traumatised even if someone else had a medically more dangerous or invasive experience.

The child is going to fall, trip, bump her head, trap her fingers, and accidentally hit herself in the face with the corners of every toy she possesses. This is fine, it is normal, she is learning, and you are not the worst mum in existence because it’s happened.

BristolMum96 · 18/08/2023 15:09

That it is ok to not enjoy the baby stage, just go through the motions and it will be over soon. Lots of people much prefer having primary age plus children and that is FINE

namenomnombre · 18/08/2023 15:21

That every baby is different and that everything, good or bad, is a phase.

voyager50 · 18/08/2023 18:16

Always having the nappy bag stocked up and ready to go but if you regularly go to your parents house keep everything you need there too (if there's room) so you don't have to keep carrying it along with everything else.

pushchairprincess · 18/08/2023 18:42

Housework can wait - they are not babies forever and they are precious times - 7 days dust is not much more than 4 days

jacqui5366 · 18/08/2023 19:18

I wish I had told people not to visit as often - and stood my ground - instead of getting dressed and tidying up - and chatting whilst baby was sleeping - when all I wanted to do was get a nap from pure exhaustion.

ohdannyboy · 19/08/2023 07:49

I wish i'd had saved more money to have a longer maternity leave - I had to go back to work earlier than I'd liked (when DS was 6months) I would have liked a year off. My post had been filled my a temp so could have done this :(

Sarah84848484 · 19/08/2023 09:06

Buy lots of size 3 nappies for the end of mat leave when you have no money!

ImustLearn2Cook · 19/08/2023 09:11

I wish I had known about postpartum hair loss. When my hair was falling out in clumps while I was in the shower I freaked out. I thought something must be seriously wrong with me.

I googled it. And such a relief when there was plenty of information about postpartum hair loss and it was completely normal.

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