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MNHQ

What do you think about Valentine’s Day?

69 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 01/02/2023 09:55

We know that Valentine’s Day tends to stir up mixed feelings and opinions, and we’d like to hear about yours. Whether you don’t give it a second thought or love a day about love, please share your thoughts on the thread below.

Will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year? Is that with a partner or are you celebrating platonic love instead? If you are celebrating, do you plan on exchanging gifts, or do you plan on focusing on quality time only? What would make it an ideal day for you? And if you don’t plan on celebrating, we’d like to hear a little about why… do you never celebrate the day, or is this year an exception?

Thanks!
MNHQ

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 01/02/2023 14:43

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2023 14:12

In YOUR view. Others like celebrating it. Me and DH often buy each other a present for Valentines (and plenty of other days of the year) but we don't buy plastic tat.

DH sometimes buys me flowers for Valentines but never roses and he is not stupid enough to buy flowers that are suddenly overpriced because of the day.

Show quote history

Well of course it's MY view. That's what @JustineBMumsnet asked for at the start of the thread. Did you miss that bit?

"We know that Valentine’s Day tends to stir up mixed feelings and opinions, and we’d like to hear about yours. Whether you don’t give it a second thought or love a day about love, please share your thoughts on the thread below."

BurbageBrook · 01/02/2023 15:04

We like it. We always do cards and some little gifts. This year I've requested a gift I actually want and need (perfume) but usually DH will get me a bouquet and chocolates or wine and I'll get him various little bits and bobs. Just an excuse to treat each other!

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2023 15:04

AutumnCrow · 01/02/2023 14:43

Well of course it's MY view. That's what @JustineBMumsnet asked for at the start of the thread. Did you miss that bit?

"We know that Valentine’s Day tends to stir up mixed feelings and opinions, and we’d like to hear about yours. Whether you don’t give it a second thought or love a day about love, please share your thoughts on the thread below."

Show quote history

But your snarky view is unnecessary. Why can posters not just say they don't celebrate it?

Oh no they have to make a big song and dance about it being so so tacky etc.

I can't understand why every year so many feel the need to sneer at those who do celebrate and tell us how they don't need to be told when to show their love and that it is so crappy and rubbish

BurbageBrook · 01/02/2023 15:06

Oh but we would never go out on Valentines Day, we do a nice night in with a meal he cooks or a takeaway. We do sometimes do something the weekend before like lunch or a night away but only occasionally.

Senseofsomething · 01/02/2023 15:06

Myself and my daughter baked a heart shaped cake last year. She wants to do it again. I quite like this new tradition.

I always quite liked the idea of mystery admirers expressing their interest through Valentines cards, and I remember a few totally mysterious cards from when I was younger. Never knew who sent them! But that aspect of the day seems rather forgotten now.

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2023 15:10

hashbrownsandwich · 01/02/2023 14:39

I am happily married and my husband is a huge romantic, however, we both agree valentines is just one day of the year, love should be celebrated all year round. We will have a nice dinner and a glass of wine and totally not fall asleep on the sofa accidentally.

I used to work in hospitality and it always amused me how many couples would come to the pub all year round, have so many moans and fall outs, yet they would go the whole hog on valentines, then next day back to normality.

Totally agree that love should be celebrated all year which is exactly what me and DH do.

We often buy each other small presents and DH often buys me flowers. We like being able to treat each other and celebrate our love. We make a big thing of each others' birthdays, our wedding anniversary and the anniversary of the day we met. Oh and Valentines Day too

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 01/02/2023 15:35

Just cards in our house - brightens up a dull day and we like to support our local small independent card shop.

pilates · 01/02/2023 16:17

I’m old early 50’s and so cba. I enjoyed it when I was at school/college.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 01/02/2023 16:21

We get each other a card and a small gift, and will usually get one of those Dine In meals to save me cooking too much! Don't tend to go out as the menus are limited and expensive.

I guess people who think it's over-commercialised don't buy tat or spend much at Christmas and Easter either...

xJoyPeaceHealthx · 01/02/2023 17:15

Don't care now that I'm single, but it used to upset me when I was with dickhead ex.
He was so awful that to exchanged cards really highlighted how little he felt for me and what a trapped financially dependent fool I was to tolerate it.
Years later I had a lovely bf, but he was nice every day so I didn't care about v day.
I banned v day because it gave me bad memories from my last relationship, getting a crap card. Eurgh.

Arrrrrrragghhh · 01/02/2023 18:36

I like it. Liked it when I young as I always sent cards to the lads I fancied. In secret. I never got one I think but it was quite fun living in hope. Sad that seems to have died out.
Now it’s a good excuse for nice meal and some flowers.

PennyToffee · 01/02/2023 18:39

We CBA with it. It's a teenage thing surely?

thailandorbust · 01/02/2023 18:46

Never really celebrated. My ExH birthday is the day before so it was always a non event for the 21 years we were together.
Mum still sends my adult kids 'anonymous' cards though - but they recognise her handwriting and find it sweet and funny.
I have a new boyfriend this year so no idea if he'll want to celebrate. I don't want to go out, I find it cringey - maybe a M&S dinner for two, but that's it.

idonotmind · 01/02/2023 18:46

Utter bollocks

ChungusBoi · 01/02/2023 19:03

Sending or receiving anonymous cards as a teen is cute 🥰

Adults celebrating in a big way is a little meh. I would never choose to eat in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. All those tables full of couples speaking in hushed tones whilst eating an expensive and cliched menu. We will probably have a roast dinner at home over the weekend with family.

jellybe · 01/02/2023 19:20

We never celebrate Valentine's Day. We don't need a capitalist sponsored day to show each other how we feel. We make the effort to show our love all year round in ways that count not through buying things we don't want or need because society has said that is what we should do.

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2023 20:40

jellybe · 01/02/2023 19:20

We never celebrate Valentine's Day. We don't need a capitalist sponsored day to show each other how we feel. We make the effort to show our love all year round in ways that count not through buying things we don't want or need because society has said that is what we should do.

We show our love all year too. It's nice though to give each other a card and a small gift. Also to have a nice meal.

No need to buy something not wanted or needed is there? We buy each other something that will be appreciated.

I don't get the "we don't need to be told when to show love because we show it all year" posters. It is not an either/or thing. It's possible to show love all year and still celebrate Valentines.

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2023 20:41

PennyToffee · 01/02/2023 18:39

We CBA with it. It's a teenage thing surely?

Really? Maybe someone should have told my parents that as they gave each other a card every year for 68 years until they died (both in their 90's).

Beaglesonlyplease · 01/02/2023 23:26

It just reminds me of how duped I was by my now DH. I had one very romantic (not at my behest) V day and since then we’ve agreed never to “celebrate “ it. I’ve always hated the sentiment etc. DH also proposed on V day. I should’ve seen the warning signs..

GallantGus · 01/02/2023 23:52

A load of crap.

just like your promotions for sex toys too.

greenspaces4peace · 01/02/2023 23:57

a fun opportunity for a meal out or a themed meal at home.
i however do this with most traditional themed days: chinese new year, valentines day, shrove tuesday, st patricks day so on and so forth.
research up some a quirky recipe and enjoy the day. most often without a card though and not based on cupid type of love. just a bit of fun.
if i want something for myself or something to share i buy it (chocolates, cake, or take out as appropriate).
sooooo i celebrate them all and dh gets a good chuckle out of the deal.
we're generous with each other regularly so i don't really expect a gift on that day.

biscuiteer · 02/02/2023 06:51

Well we used to both give cards, maybe a little gift for my dh, chocs and flowers for me sort of thing or a special meal in / out and that was lovely. I haven't really cared for it in the last 4 or 5 years so I have been hit and miss with giving cards while he has done super last minute token card, which doesn't really feel very romantic!
and then when I saw the usual pink and red stands in a shop last week I said, 'Oh god Valentine's-shall we ignore that this year?' And he said 'Yeah!' It's like neither of us feel pressured to buy into the commercial crap anymore and we genuinely love each other, but we don't need to bother with going through the motions of buying a card because it's Valentine's Day.
It's probably also about saving money too to be fair. Oh and I have to say a restaurant full of only couples for 'a romantic meal out' is so cringeful. I used to work those shifts and it really is weird when you think about it! Still, if it boosts local business, that's probably a life line for many independent restaurants right now.

pizzaHeart · 02/02/2023 09:06

DH and I don’t do cards for Valentine’s Day, I might get flowers from him but in general we are not used to it, it came to our life when we were over 30 and DD was a baby so not very romantic stage of life. I treat it as a normal day and plan activities as usual. This year it’s half term week so we definitely will do something together as a family.
I do buy fancier food for dinner sometimes but only because it’s a good offer. I would do it with the same enthusiasm if supermarkets celebrated every last Friday of the month.

Greenraincoat12 · 02/02/2023 09:23

Senseofsomething · 01/02/2023 15:06

Myself and my daughter baked a heart shaped cake last year. She wants to do it again. I quite like this new tradition.

I always quite liked the idea of mystery admirers expressing their interest through Valentines cards, and I remember a few totally mysterious cards from when I was younger. Never knew who sent them! But that aspect of the day seems rather forgotten now.

I can remember doing it at school. We would send cards and receive them (similar to Christmas). This was the late 80s.
In our house we don't take it too seriously but it's nice to set aside some time and make a nice meal together. DH sent me a picture of the Tesco value valentine card, which make me chuckle.

MobyJeff · 02/02/2023 09:27

Commercial nonsense designed to flog tat. If you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t need overpriced trinkets or fuel station flowers to express/know how you feel about each other.