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MNHQ

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

457 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 17/12/2019 09:52

This sponsored discussion is now closed

Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,
MNHQ

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Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
OP posts:
TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 20/12/2019 22:52

We didn't have any help from either set of parents. Luckily we were in a position to save ourselves.

Cailin7 · 21/12/2019 00:01

no help from our parents to buy first property. I would not have expected, asked for, or accepted anything anyway.

becky200 · 21/12/2019 06:05

As soon as I was working full time, and I had saved up enough to kit out a house, my parents gave me money out of the small amount left by my Gran,in her will. They wanted me to have the security of a house and they didn't want me to rent, and have the monthly payments increase, at no notice and my mortgage payments are half that of rent and I don't need to worry about a landlord, selling the property and for me to have to keep moving and never be settled. So, luckily, I had a deposit and I had to save like crazy, to buy furniture and everything a house needs and I had more help,off friends and friends of friends and lots of kind people gave me really good household items, like my bed and washing machine and coffee table. My parents also helped with that and some of their friends from church gave me items so they helped a lot and I am so grateful that they were so good to me and I am still in my first house, 13 years later and I owe them so much

Cranb0rne · 21/12/2019 06:50

I saved for 10 years. My dad was going to pay the stamp duty but then there was a stamp duty holiday for first-time buyers implemented just weeks before we bought our house.

bouncydog · 21/12/2019 07:08

Early 80’s my DF was a property developer so we were lucky to be able to purchase a plot at cost on a new development. Parents paid for the block work. We got a mortgage for £12k to pay for materials and trades where we couldn’t skill swap. DH was a builder so did work for an electrician in return for our electrics being completed. Still in same property which we have extended to over 2.5 times original size. We hope to help our DD buy. She saves hard and when she lived with us we refused rent etc provided she saved. We were also in the fortunate position to ensure she left Uni with no debt. We’re very grateful to my parents as we would have struggled without their help.

Fireextinguished · 21/12/2019 07:17

Was kicked out at 15 and given no financial help whatever. At 40 still renting with no chance of saving for deposit. Really hope my children get opportunity to buy.

Appletreehouse · 21/12/2019 07:51

My parents gave us amazing advice for our first home by accompanying us to view properties we liked. Their opinion, reasoning and experience helped guide us on the renovation costs, and practical con longer term aspects we wouldn't have considered as we were very naive and inexperienced. my mum steered us towards the house we eventually bought and loved for 10 years when we wouldn't have given it a second glance in the estate agents because of the old fashion decor.

They also helped us to understand the potential pitfall of the shared equity flat we had fallen in love with because of the flashy new ness of it, which when the crash came a year later in 2007 had £40K wiped off its value and would have had dire financial consequences for us long term.

Both my parents and in laws gifted us £1K each to do essential rewiring and roofing when we completed, and they helped to decorate most of the house over the following years, passing on their skills so we know how to do it ourselves now

juneybean · 21/12/2019 08:34

My parents let me live at home on a very low board to be able to save up for a deposit. My mum also accompanied me to view houses.

isitpossibleto · 21/12/2019 09:08

None. I was on a good wage back in the 90’s and wanted to buy a flat. My father talked me out of it. I wish I hadn’t listened.

HomelyK · 21/12/2019 09:15

I bought my first house with my husband 4 years ago and have moved since to be closer to our families. My parents helped us a little with the deposit by using money I had paid rent to them whilst living at home for 4 years- back to me. I and my husband saved hard and over half the deposit was from this. The other part was from our generous grandparents who wanted to see us building a life and family whilst they could still be around to watch us enjoy it. They are all no longer here and I am so thankful for their support but for also being able to share all the joy with them :)

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 21/12/2019 09:53

DP and I bought our first home back in the late 90s.

At the time you could still get a mortgage for 4x earnings so as I was in a good job at the time it enabled us to get a mortgage. The deposit wasn't huge so we just about managed to scrape that together ourselves.

Our parents helped when, at the last minute, the building society insisted on a £5k retention (I think that's what it's called). The house needed a lot of work doing so we had to give the building society this money until certain work was carried out and then they gave us the £5k back.

If it hadn't have been for this short term loan from our parents we would have lost the house so it was a godsend!

mummyduckduck · 21/12/2019 10:25

No help from family to get on the property ladder, and never managed it on my own. Rented since I left home at 18. My parents own their home and a couple of others that they rent out. I honestly can't imagine ever being as financially secure as they are.

I've been saving for DD since she was born and hope to have enough for her to put a deposit down on a house when she's grown up.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 21/12/2019 10:48

I couldn't have bought in London in August 1988 if it hadn't been for my parents generously giving me a deposit of £20,000 on a small flat priced at £68,000. I still struggled to pay the mortgage on my salary and lived out of orange boxes and donated bits and pieces of furniture till I married and moved away. The proceeds of its subsequent sale and the purchase of property elsewhere will hopefully go to my daughter when I die, unless I have to sell to pay for a nursing home.

Ronnie27 · 21/12/2019 12:37

They didn’t. Neither of my parents have anything spare, mum is in social housing and dad owns but retired. Tbh even if they did have cash to spare they wouldn’t consider it their responsibility to help me buy a house. My brother is 30 and on a good salary in London but doesn’t own. I do as I live somewhere the property prices are reasonable and have a good job. We have both always stood on our own two feet, no other choice.

Grafittiqueen · 21/12/2019 15:04

My parents were guarantors on a 100% mortgage back in the days when those existed.

bea9287 · 21/12/2019 16:29

They haven't given us the deposit, but lucky enough that they have let us move back home after renting for a few years so that we can save our deposit.

Mammyofonlyone · 21/12/2019 16:45

I know it won't be popular but I've had £150k from my parents. Most times I then later we have moved house they have given us a chunk. They have match it for my sister to.
I am aware that this isn't the norm and I am very grateful

Ladyratterley · 21/12/2019 17:15

DH and I were totally spoilt as we both have reasonably well off parents. My parents gave us 15k, & his Dad & wife gave us the same.
Our flat in London cost just under 400k so we only had to spend 9k and solicitors fees.
We were not expecting that kind of contribution from both of them and are very grateful as it meant we could decorate and furnish the place straight away and can afford to overpay on our mortgage each month. We could also afford to get married a year and a half later.
Our parents are the best. We are very lucky.

billybear · 21/12/2019 18:35

was lucky mum and dad had just come into money from a relation dying, so gave me a bit deposit £20,000 of a £52,000 house, then we had a small mortgage for 2 years and someone else died, mum and dad paid off our mortgage, so been very lucky, it makes a real difference to help out your kids,

tinytemper66 · 21/12/2019 18:56

They didn't! Saved the deposit ourselves.

AEE1 · 21/12/2019 19:14

They helped me by giving me some money for my deposit, which was a shared ownership. Unfortunately this was just a few months before the property crash in the 1990's, so i never did pay the money back and had to sell at a loss. However, now I have my perfect home about 11 moves, so happy they helped me in my first home.

queenoftheschoolrun · 21/12/2019 19:18

I paid my parents a percentage of my wages after Uni. I was temping so some weeks earned barely anything. When I left home a year later they gave me a surprise cheque - they'd put all my rent money into a separate account towards a deposit. Another couple of years saving and I'd got enough for a deposit. Forever grateful and intend to do the same for DD if circumstances allow.

ps1991 · 21/12/2019 20:41

My husband and I bought our first home at the same time as we got married. Our parents paid for almost all of our wedding £10k (ish) and our honeymoon £4K so we could focus our saving, and keep working towards our deposit. Turns out we moved into our first home exactly a week before getting married ❤️

Doilooklikeatourist · 21/12/2019 21:23

My parents loaned me £ 15k in 1986 and I got mortgage for the rest ( about another £20k ) and bought a tiny one bed flat
Sold it after about 2 years , paid them back their share ( and the increase ) and managed to buy a 2 bed semi on my own
They offered , as they had the money and saw that the investment would pay off
No legal paperwork , I paid then back as I was grateful for the help , and they benefited financially too
Would love to help my DC the same way ,

cheekychicken24 · 21/12/2019 21:29

They didn't at all. In fact I was - as far as I know - the first woman in the family to own property in her own name, rather than with a husband or partner. It's not surprising, because I know the first home my parents owned was just in my dad's name - women didn't go on the mortgage or the deeds.