Read MNers tips for supporting your children when starting primary school

[EllieMumsnet]

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Starting primary school is a major milestone for your child, and making that jump from nursery school to primary school isn’t always easy. From making new friends to getting used to the school routine, the changes your child has to adapt to can spark both excitement and anxiety. With this in mind, Tiny Popwant to hear from you about the ways you will make or have made the transition to starting school as smooth as possible.

Here’s what Tiny Pop have to say: “Here at Tiny Pop we recognise what an exciting, yet scary, emotional and challenging time it can be when one of your little ones starts their primary school journey. We think it’s the perfect time for parents to come together and join forces to share the best tips and tricks to support little ones and the wider family as this big change takes place. Tiny Pop is here for you to support you in your new hectic routines whether it’s 10 minutes in front of Super Wings in our Wakey, Wakey segment whilst mums and dads get dressed or some much needed down time at the end of a busy day for Yeti Tales in Cuddle Time on Tiny Pop. We are here for you with old friends and new!”

What are your top tips in preparing your child for starting school? How do you make sure your child gets enough sleep with all the excitement and anxiety in the days and weeks leading up to starting school? Maybe you’ve got a special way to relax and calm them down, or maybe you’ve got some lunchbox and uniform hacks to keep the morning school-run as stress-free as possible?

All who share their tips for supporting their little ones when starting school for the first time will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 vouchers (from a list).

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

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I find it depressing that we are asked how to reduce anxiety in the weeks leading up to them starting school...why the hell would any parent be building it up to the extent that they then have to resolve their anxiety?
We didn't do anything special. He knew he was leaving nursery and going to school and he tried on his new uniform to make sure it fit, and chose his school bag. We'd had a letter from school around the April/May with tips on things to work on (like making sure they can use and knife and fork, dress themselves, recognise their name written down, able to go out for a day without a special toy, etc) so there was plenty of time to incorporate all that into daily life. We also made sure that there were lots of times for quiet, sitting activities like drawing, board games or puzzles so that sitting quietly during short teaching sessions wouldn't be too much of a shock!

The school had 3 settling-in sessions in the June/July so he met his teacher and classmates, learned where the classroom and toilets were, etc.

There has to be a balance between gentle encouragement/reassurance and this weird idea that we have to build up such levels of excitement in children that they find it hard to cope with.

Disclaimer obviously I'm not criticising anyone who has a child who is naturally anxious or has addituonal needs that would make moving to school stressful, etc. Just talking about people who purposely create hype.

dd2 started school 2 days ago, I would say talking to them about it in a positive way, and if possible get together once or twice with someone who will be in their class, so each of them has a "buddy" they can sit with on the carpet, it is quite reassuring in the first few days.

We talked about how exciting and grown up it would be but didn't go on constantly about it. On the day we dressed up in the uniform and had a walk to school - there were tears which broke my heart but thankfully day 2 was easier and now she loves school

If your child has older siblings encourage them to talk positively about their experiences in school at the dinner table so you can all hear their positive story. Arrange to visit the school for assemblies, plays, concerts, summer/winter fetes the full year before starting. That way your child can slowly build up a bond and will feel more secure. In Germany every child gets a special present on the first day of school (something school related). It give the child something special to look forward to and is a great tradition.

I try to get a rough timetable of what they might be going on they're first day, such as having a little tour of the school, snack time , story time, play time. I do this by asking the teacher when we go on the induction day.

The night before I tell the child what they're doing. It helps them to know what to expect which I find helps them to be more in control of their emotions!

With my 2, I found getting them into the morning routine before school helped, so setting the alarm and getting them up, breakfasted and dressed at the time we'd have to leave the house helped (now they are both at school, I still do this the last couple of days of holidays, although DH was in charge this year as I had to work and nope, PJ days for the last 2 days of holidays - then shattered first day back)

Go to any transitional events that are organised by the school.
Try on uniform and help them to be independent. We mark shoes with half a smiley face in one shoe and half a smiley face in the other. When they match up to make a face, the shoes will be going on the right feet!
Don't ask direct questions- we talk about our best bit each day and I get far more information from him this way.

I agree with not making too big a deal of the event, if you talk about it, be brief, bright and breezy, and be prepared for them being exhausted afterwards.

My Dd started last year - we were very excited about starting school. We talked a lot about it ahead of school starting, and took some time off between nursery and school starting to do some fun pre-school starting activities.
We practised putting the school uniform off and on and the PE kit too. We also walked to the school a couple of times over the summer.

Talk about it, and it helps that older sister is there already so youngest is desperate to join in

I bought a 'First day at bug school' book, about the little bugs first day at school. We read it together, spoke about how the bug felt, and I asked how he felt 'fine' any worries 'how will I get my shoes on if they fall off' - we practiced this with his new school shoes - first day at school went just fine.

We tried uniform on a few times, getting it on an off, where the front and back is, reinforcing hygiene routines after going to the toilet, and when we went out, I asked him to queue with me for the shop and when we ate out to order food (so he got used to queuing for dinner) - but I did not tell him why we were queueing together.

Don't make too much of a fuss but let them put on their uniform a couple of tines before they start so they can get used to it .

Let them choose their own bag and pencil case so they know they can be individuals in that way even if they are wearing the same as everyone else.

Make sure they know what will happen, what to do at dinner time, practice putting on their school uniform and shoes (it's tricky with little finger), try to make them as independent as they can be with dressing and closing up their lunch box, give them a rough idea of the time when things will happen, and DON'T cry when you drop them off (leave it till you get home) it will only unsettle them.

Don't try too hard or plan too many activities especially in the first term.

I give them a handkerchief with scent on or some little personal thing to put in their pocket to give them some comfort. Might sound a bit weird but they said it helped.

Don't make a big deal of it, and save any tears for when you are back home. Be upbeat about it all before they go.

Listen to any worries they may have and try and help them see how to resolve them if they occur by talking through strategies but don't put any worries into their heads. If they're not worried, don't impose your concerns onto them.

I’m new to this.
Don’t really know where to start, my partner of 12 years told me he doesn’t love me anymore this was 5 months ago. we’ve been together since I was 14 and him 18. We have 2 daughters 5 years old and 10 months. He basically walked out and left me with huge debt all in my name. I’ve since found out he’s been dating a 16 behind my back for months, there’s no going back for us but I feel absolutely lost and devastated that not only have lost my partner but my best friend and he just doesn’t care about me and the children anymore.

I should hate him but I feel like he’s died

Playing school with toys

Making an effort to do play dates with children from nursery that would be in same reception class so they saw someone they knew well

Talking about the routines in school

Taking packed lunch on day trips so they were used to it and also so that I knew they could open pots/frubes etc on their own

Practicing getting changed so that pe wasn't an issue

Be brave and don't make it into a drama. Children will pick up on your nerves and think there's something to be nervous about.
Try not to overdo extra curricular stuff in the early days, they will be tired.

@Jas06
Post in relationships, you'll find support there.

Try to act as it is just another step- keep low key and don’t go overboard with preparations.