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Tell Fairy Non Bio about how you and your DC make friends - win a £300 voucher! NOW CLOSED

260 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 19/07/2017 14:33

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series and episode 7, which you can listen to here, is about making friends and being nice. When you get the chance, Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to the podcast and share your thoughts - not just about the new friends you’ve made since having a baby, but also about how your baby socialises with other children.

Whether you go to parenting groups and classes in your spare time or not, making friends as a new mother isn’t always easy. Have you felt like it can be isolating, and that you have nothing in common with the other mothers in your area (apart from the presence of your tiny children)? Or perhaps you’ve found that parenting can be a reason to bond with other people, even if it’s just a case of having someone to grumble with about sleepless nights and dirty nappies? And of course it would be negligent to forget to mention Mumsnet as a platform on which mums can socialise and make new friends!

And then, as your baby gets older, their social life may become the minefield you need to navigate. Have you been mystified by your little one's’ ability to make best friends with complete strangers in the playground? Perhaps you’ve struggled to deal with getting them to share nicely with other children?

Whatever your experiences of friendship during early motherhood, post on the thread below and you’ll be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store and leave a review.

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

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Tell Fairy Non Bio about how you and your DC make friends - win a £300 voucher! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Dessallara · 09/08/2017 12:59

I've made a lovely friend when I decided this time I'm not going to be shy and I'll start talking first. Usually I'm quiet shy and find difficult to start a conversation. My daughter though finds friends quiet easily at nursery and playgrounds just by playing together.

Mammylamb · 09/08/2017 13:12

Getting out to as many groups as I could helped us make friends; they don't need to cost a lot either! Bookbug classes at local library was free, and the local authority ran a lot of free groups!! Also, a lot of churches ran groups too which cost very little to attend

hann24 · 09/08/2017 13:23

My mum is still friends with people she met in her ante-natal class before she had me - having children of very similar ages meant that they shared lots of life events together and could compare notes. I'm hoping to do the same :)

VickyRsuperstar · 09/08/2017 15:24

I have found it really difficult to make good friends with other parents. My eldest has ADHD & autism so keeping track of him was a full time job. He was also a bit too lively for most playgroups so I stopped taking him as it got embarrassing :-( School - again he stood out from the other children and the other parents just used to look at me and not talk to me and they weren't very friendly so I gave up.
We do chat to other parents and children in the park and at church though and we've made some good friends that way. Also my 2nd daughter made friends with a lovely girl and her mother is really nice too so we get on quite well. Unfortunately having a larger than average family and my eldest (now 17) being long term ill after parathyroid surgery, means that I don't really go out very much or have much free time for friends, but we try to always be polite and friendly to anyone we meet in the park or while we are out.

Leanfun · 09/08/2017 16:40

Made friends with other Mums in the park and at playgroups and at the library. It was difficult at first to say should we meet up for coffee in a cafe but once we had started the friendships and children became friends too we met at each other's houses.

slbhill42 · 09/08/2017 17:06

I made some good friends at the local bumps, babies and toddler group, and some more when I invited my little boy's nursery pals to the house for his birthday party.

peanutmum111 · 09/08/2017 18:16

I've found a local group held in a church hall to be ideal for friendship. My children have been since 6 months, cope with noise and movement. 'Little Tugs' has free play, food, story time and then music time. So all needs met.
Toys are organised in areas, babies are protected, limited push along items, big shops, cafes, space is wonderful for the children. While they play, mums natter and 'friends' from the church 'look out' for mums who need a bit of support, and they get lots of cuddle times.
The food is crackers with cheese spread and grapes, and water. So no problems. I have made friends who I am to talk to in local shops, share recipes, ideas ............
I'm so glad I went.
All the children go to different primary schools but there are some familiar faces.

molly57 · 09/08/2017 19:42

Talk to other parents at school and other events your children attend.

piggypoo · 09/08/2017 19:56

We seek out local groups for hobbies, eg, gardening, dog-walking groups, local classes for families, we've made lots of mates, the DC's and the parents too, we bring along the grandparents and aunties and that way it's quite easy to widen our social circle!

pongopig · 09/08/2017 20:09

I made one friend at a toddler group - honestly people weren't very friendly. I felt like I always made the effort to start up a conversation but it was very much one way traffic. I have to say I made many more friends at school when my DS was in reception, I still meet up with them 10 years on.

cathryn1 · 09/08/2017 20:40

Making friends with people at work with kids the same age and with moms at swimming and dance classes make it easier

Hairq · 09/08/2017 21:31

I really hated baby and toddler groups and avoided them as much as possible, only going to one really good one a week. I forced myself to talk to people even though it felt very uncomfortable. I still do - always with a big smile. Luckily my DC is naturally very friendly and gregarious so has never had a problem with making friends.

bex552 · 09/08/2017 21:34

I find it really hard to talk to other mums, its something I've always struggled with but has got so much worse since having children! However my 3.5 year old is the polar opposite of shy and talks to anyone and everyone and never stops bless her!

toopeoply · 10/08/2017 06:58

I'm rubbish at making friends. Proper ones. The children however find it so easy and it's lovely to watch. That's enough for me.

Mrsretrobee · 10/08/2017 13:57

After years of trying to conceive, I am finally pregnant. However, I now face the isolation that comes with it. When you're pregnant, you aren't particularly welcome in the 'mums with kids' groups. I have noticed this in every group I have joined. So far I have been ignored or received very little response to messages. With a few weeks to go till the baby gets here, I wonder how things will be for me and the baby. My friends ( living on the other side of the country) with kids have struggled to meet people that they can connect with. This worries me, will being a mother make the isolation grow more?

sm2012 · 10/08/2017 14:44

I went to an NCT class with my first and made lots of new mum friends. I went to another NCT class with my third as there was quite a gap and as I found the first class a way to make friends for both myself and baby I thought it would be good to do it again.

If you want to make mum friends I think it's important to chat to anyone even if it's just a passing comment at the park or asking how old their child is etc. Anything can be a way to start off a friendship.

Babycarmen · 10/08/2017 20:35

Despite being extremely anxious about it, after I had my first daughter I went to a couple of the mum & baby groups at local churches/town hall etc. It was quite daunting but there was plenty of age suitable toys and games and also a cuppa and biscuit for mum! Nobody was ever sat alone, people always made the effort to talk to new people and I met one of my closest friends there.

Starlight85 · 10/08/2017 21:02

I'm a first time mum to a 7 month old and it can feel lonely at times. I've found going to baby groups is a good way to make friends and talk to other mums that have babies of a similar age

PorridgeAgainAbney · 11/08/2017 17:47

I found it a very isolating time to be honest. Baby groups just weren't for me as I was so tired and depressed that I couldn't imagine being able to string a sentence together with complete strangers. It wasn't until I went back to work and started to get my confidence back that I started making friends with women at work who had small children.

Having two shy parents means it will be a miracle if DS grows up to be social butterfly but I'd never want to make him feel as though shyness is some kind of fault or something that needs to be conquered. He is who he is and he's got a lovely little circle of friends so I want him to feel that as long as he is kind, generous and funny then (hopefully) he will attract others with the same qualities.

kennythekangaroo · 11/08/2017 17:58

DD has a small group of close school friends and has worked hard to make new friends at Brownies. She is a bit shy at first but I have been encouraging her to learn their names and talk to them about what they are doing.
I have a few good friends from university and friends from work but have few new friends recently. I joined a newly formed WI and although it was strange at first knowing nobody in the group I have made several new friends and now just start chatting to whoever I end up sitting by.

Sleepysausage · 11/08/2017 20:10

I made my two best 'mum' friends by joining groups locally. I found motherhood alot like joining university, you make forensic with everyone then filter through till you find your tribe

Benone · 12/08/2017 22:15

It can be really hard to make the effort to make new friends when your sleep deprived with a new baby or a full time working mum constantly harassed and late. I made some great friends at an aquanatal class when I was expecting my first DC 7 years ago and those same friendly faces kept popping up at baby groups later. With no. 2 it was harder as there was more to juggle and definitely spent much less time socialising with others on maternity leave. Now I'm expecting no 3 and think it'll be ok, especially as you gradually pick up friends who have kids of all ages. Making the effort to meet up with someone at least once a week keeps you sane, even if it feels hard to build up the energy to do it!

goneblogging · 13/08/2017 18:26

I've found it hard to make friends as a new mum, especially the first time around. It's difficult with anxiety and feeling like you're walking into people's groups but I've found with my second that there's always a friendly face, a familiar smile or someone happy to say hello and have a coffee. If you're feeling stuck head to a children's centre group or find a local group on Facebook and message the owner to say you're feeling a bit nervous and if they can introduce you to someone :)

Josephinelavelle · 14/08/2017 15:22

I had lots of friends that had babies around the same time as me, so it has made it fairly easy. I'm 42, so I even have friends that have had grandchildren that my little one can mix with!

RobertsCrew · 15/08/2017 01:09

Making friends was always fairly simple when the kids were in primary school, you automatically make bonds with random parents at school by striking up conversations. Now they are at secondary its much harder but I must have an approachable face because we always end up chatting to people up the shops! A lot of the friends from primary that my kids have stayed in touch with have carried on so we are still in contact but its very rare to find people that your kids stay friends with their whole life