Share your thoughts on Wills with Which? Win £300 voucher or free Will! NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

Writing a Will is something that many of us put off, as it’s never a nice subject to talk about and the process can seem confusing, but Which? Wills is hoping to change all that with their online Will writing and Power of Attorney service.

They would love to hear your experience of how you got your Will sorted, or, if you haven’t got around to it yet, what’s putting you off? It would be great to hear your stories of how you decided how you would write your Will, and your tips to those who have yet to do it.

Here’s what Alex Neil, at Which? has to say: "It's important to make a will to ensure that your assets, including your home, savings and belongings, are distributed according to your wishes. It can be very difficult for loved ones to do this if you pass away without having made a will.”

Did the birth of your DCs prompt you to write your Will? Do you think that it’s important to have a Will as a parent, and if so, why?

Whatever your experience (or lack of experience!) of Will writing, we’d love to hear your story so that other Mumsnetters can take advice.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win either a £300 Love2Shop voucher or a free Which? Will Writing Service (T&Cs below).

Thanks,

MNHQ
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This is something we have been meaning to do for so long, ever since we had our daughter it is something that we know we should arrange. It is also something that we know we should sort out but never have.

Even though I do not have any assets to speak of, I do have a will. I have children, and think it's important that a guardian is listed in the event of something happening to me. It is not nice to think of, but saves added stress at a time when your loved ones will not need it!

I think if you have assets of value, a will is necessary to make sure it all goes to the right people. I don't have a will myself, maybe one day!

We made a will when dd was born (I remember the solicitor saying "so what do you want to happen to your dd if you two are both wiped out" )
We've recently redone the will as dd is 13 now and we wanted to change her guardians, as the friends we had nominated have moved to the Middle East and I suddenly realised that would mean dd losing her Mum, Dad and friends and family!

Getting a job working in the Financial Services Industry open my eye's to the pit falls and anguish not having a will can cause. Especially for people like myself, unmarried with children despite being with my long term partner for many years. Even more so worry to realise that if anything was to happen to my partner and I, it would only take 2 people i.e. my mother and his mother to dispute who would take care of the children for the possibility of my boys ending up in the care of social services until the issue had been resolved, should our wished for the children not be written down.

It also shocked my that not only do many people not have a will, causing lengthy applications for probate, arguments over wishes when following the laws of intestate, but the fact that all you need for a will is to have your thoughts and wishes written down, made clear they're your own word and to be signed, dated and witnessed by 2 people not due to benefit from the will. Even written on the back of a napkin !! For a will is not law it doesn't deem your wishes in stone never to be broken, it is just an indication of what you would like to happen. Any will, even if you have spent £100's of pounds on professional advise can still be challenged in a court of law.

(However, if the will is complicated or business' are involved for example, it is recommended professional advice should be obtained).

I found a free online will designed for couples where both partners want to leave their estate to the other partner and where children are involved. I edited it to my wishes, made sure I included full details if both of us were to pass away at the same time and also if we were all to pass in some unfortunate accident. I signed and dated it and had 2 work colleagues witness it. and put it somewhere safe.

The difficult part came trying to get my partner to do the same. "Why the hell would I even talk about dying or death, let a lone about wills" was his response every time I even dared approach the subject. He thought it very morbid and refused to even listen to my logical and somewhat worrying reasons not to have one. I therefore did they only thing I could do, to at least allow some sort of safety net, I married him. I joke you not. We had already been together for 15 year's. I told him fine, if you won't make a will then we must marry. 5 months later I was Mrs Johnson

I still had the worry of something happening to both of us and the slim but also possible chance that I would pass before him, even if by a few moments, as again, having young children, the fear was still there they could end up in the care system and there is a very real chance there would be arguments over who believes would be best to take care of our children. So once married, after about a year, I again approached the subject and with a little more gentle and less-forceful wording, asked him, If I prepared and typed out a will stating exactly the same as mine, purely to safe guard the children should anything happen to us, would he please just read and sign it. Knowing it would be very simple and standard so not breaking any rules on the fact it would be his wishes. He agreed. However, once he read it he did get involved, decided should anything happen to all of us he would like our estate to be distributed differently to me, being shared between my siblings was not something he whole heartedly agreed with lol and even then re-typed and did his own. I was very relieved.

I saved an editable version so when we did marry, it was easy to edit and re-print new documents to update my will. All I had to do was re-sign and date and have it witnessed. It was very straight forward.

I would recommend anyone who hasn't already done a will to do one, even a free online template as a basis to start, it's better than nothing honestly. As well as the experiences I have witnessed within my previous job working for the FSA (Now FCA), I have had to deal with the probate for members of the family who have passed intestate (without a will) and when you are dealing with the sad awful loss of a loved one, the last thing you need is dealing with the stress of probate and the possibility of trying to keep family members and friends happy.

When we purchased our second home we decided it really was time to write our will ... Albeit slightly over due... I saw an advert for Will Aid and thought if we're paying out for a will it may as well go to a good cause however when I signed up the only solicitor participating was over an hours drive away ... So ... Back to the drawing board and no will was made until we saw an offer on groupon for a mirrored will for £50. It was to cheap not to take up on, we did have to add extras on so worked out more but I was really happy with the service provided and our will is now sorted. I'm hindsight we really should have done our will a long time ago, for our children's sake more than anything. We have allocated legal guardians and given financial responsibility to them for our estate to ensure the best for our 3 dc. Now the will is written I do feel a sense of relief knowing that all is taken care of should Dh and I meet our fate too early but in all honesty I can admit that if the will writing service hadn't been on offer we still wouldn't have bitten the bullet and written our final wishes as we can always find a better use for the few hundred pounds cost we were faced with on a normal service.
It's done and we can forget about it now .....Fingers crossed we won't need our will for a very very long time!

I think that if you have any family then a will is essential. Your life can go through so many transitions that if you feel you don't need one, due to your family set-up, you might find yourself in a totally different position a few years later.

I find the saddest thing is when people fight over the money and possessions of somebody who has passed away. Also, it can be agonising for those that truly love somebody who has passed on to try and decide - did they want to be an organ donor? Did they want to be buried? If so where? Did they want to be cremated? If so what did they want to happen to their ashes? What music would they have wanted at their funeral? If this is all set out in a will then it takes all those decisions away from a grieving family.

My dh is a solicitor and specialised in this area of law. So we have had a will since we were first living together pretty much, after he finishes his training contract. It's been updated over the years, after marriage and after our dd was born.

Dh has done wills for many of our family and friends. He makes it incredibly easy - can do much of it via a questionnaire or a friendly face to face chat, or via email/phone. He then writes the wills and they sign them with witnesses after he has been through each clause with them.

It can be costly at times but there are cheaper options available. He wouldn't really recommend DIY wills and would tell people to exercise caution with will maker type companies - check who is actually doing the will, are they properly qualified (legally trained, Specialised, ideally a properly qualified solicitor specialising in that area of law, etc) He can mar more money from sorting out poorly prepared wills than from writing a proper will in the first place though sadly many people don't discover their will is badly prepared - it's their family who find out when it hits probate.

It is something which myself DVD my husband always talk about but have never actually done I have worked in palliative care and have always stressed to my patients how important it is to have a will but have no practised what I have preached.

Recently we have been spurred on to get this sorted as in the near future we will be legal guardians to my husbands 9 year old sister as my mother in law is dying from terminal cancer. The last thing we want is for anything to happen to us and this little girls life be turned upside down again by our wishes not being known.

It is one of the most important things you can do for your family it's a shame when it takes a tragedy to make it happen.

We are the classic unmarried co-habitual couple who have still not made a will. DP has suggested it many times, and while I agree, we just haven't got round to it.
We don't know where to start.
Silly of us and embarrassing really.
We are old enough and celebrate enough to know better and it does bother me.

Clever not celebrate!

I really should update my will but it's one of those things you put off, isn't it? Time, money, thinking you don't need it.

I think when you get on the housing ladder you need a will. I don't think you need one before that? But im not entirely sure to be honest. I know older relatives of mine have had problems because you need to remember to update wills when things change.

We just have a simple and wills do not need to be a big deal or expensive. When we amass our many millions and numerous pads we will rethink! I can dream.

It's not really to do with money spotty. And to some extent it's not to do with children. The key question is "If I die intestate, what will happen?" If you're happily married with only one set of children then dying intestate would be horrible and inconvenient for the people who have to deal with your estate but not disastrous - even if you've got loads of money. Ditto if you're young, single and on good terms with your parents.

But if you aren't in that sort of situation then the rules of intestacy could result in your grieving partner, handing everything - the odd money in your bank account, your clothes, your car - over to your alcoholic estranged mother/brother. Or your mother having to track down the man who abandoned his wife and baby so she can hand over half your carefully saved gap year funds. Or your children being completely disinherited by their stepparent. Or your abusive husband who was stringing out divorce proceedings taking everything, including photos, books and mementos from your children. Those consequences are genuinely disastrous - even if there isn't a house or serious sums of money at stake.

I think that they are the most important thing you should being doing. I had and still have an almighty mess with my parents as their affairs had to go into intestate as they didn't have a will. This means that as my sister is contesting her share none of us get anything. We just have to wait or give in. This also costs more and splits families.

Still don't have a will, we really should, we both know it, but every month goes by without one being written.

Hopefully we will survive until we have written one!!

We keep talking about making a will, but it's one of many things we haven't got around to, yet

We need to write wills particularly as we aren't married yet. We have 1 DC and 1 on the way so getting more urgent really. It's not knowing where to start and not knowing the cost of getting one that I think is delaying us. Do we go for a cheap one or are they no good legally etc. etc. We need to legally decide who DCs would go to in the event of both of us dying.

I'm now 28 and planning to make my will shortly as i have two small children and really need them to be provided for if anything happens to me

I think a will is a good idea and we have written ours some years ago

Wills are vitally important especially when step families are invokves! There should be no heightened expectations or anbiguity.

Oh God this has been on my "must do this year" list for the last 10 years.

It's not the writing it bit - it's the talking to people...

Having been through a probate situation myself with my own mum, they are essential to protect your kids from further pain

I've spoken to friends about this before, as a single parent I worry about what would happen to my son if anything were to happen to me, he doesn't see his dad now as he moved away but in theory, he could end up being looked after by him and his family, miles away from my family and all his friends if nothing had been written down about the issue. I don't have much money so that's not really the key thing to note in a will I would have to write. I guess I have been putting it off due to the problem with being able to afford it, but know from experiences within the wider family, that it's really important to do it, inform the relevant people of their interests, and make sure its done right.