Share with WaterWipes what you wish you were told before the arrival of your new born - chance to win £300! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team at WaterWipes would love to hear what you wish you'd been told before the arrival of your new born.

We all can recall those innocent days before the arrival of baby and the impact having a child can have on your life so please share on this thread what you wish someone had told you - or what you were told which was especially useful!

Here's what WaterWipes says: "WaterWipes contain only 2 ingredients: 99.9% Water and 0.1% grapefruit seed extract. Non-irritating to even the most sensitive of children’s or Mums’ skin, WaterWipes help prevent and alleviate nappy rash and other sensitive skin conditions. WaterWipes are the only baby wipe ever to be endorsed by Allergy UK. We think they're great for newborns and we'd love to hear what other pearls of wisdom you wish you knew before your baby arrived!"

Please share a comment on the thread: you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win £300 voucher for the store of choice (from a list). Standard Insight T&Cs apply

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

That it's ok not to feel deliriously happy all the time.

I wish someone had told me to book onto a baby first aid course before baby arrived. I really want to go but it is hard juggling around breastfeeding...

That you have to make babies sleep. Seems really obvious now but I always thought that they just went to sleep when they got tired

I wish someone had just mentioned how much newborns cry and that it is perfectly normal as they adjust to the world around them. I spent the first 6 weeks panicking that Dd was in terrible pain/distressed when really she was just settling into routine. I had no idea as I had no baby experience at all. I think people forget to tell you as this phase passes so quickly.
I second other posters saying 'Go with your instinct' because you get so much advice, it gets confusing and when you just want to do your best, it can be stressful separating all the information.
Routine was my friend. Once DD was into a rough routine of eat, play and sleep I started to relax and enjoy being a mother as I felt more in control. I knew what times I might snatch for a quick nap/do some chores. Although my standards of cleaning slipped pretty quickly, and for the first time in my life, I accepted offers of help!

catsgowoof - me too

I wish I'd known that whatever you se on social media and whatever people tell you about their amazing sleeping on crying babies ISNT ALWAYS TRUE

I wish I had really known more about breastfeeding - that cluster feeding is normal, that yes a baby can be hungry 40 minutes after their last feed and that it is all normal. Would have saved me a lot of angst.

I wish I'd been told that vests can be pulled down rather than over the head - never discovered this till DC3 was about 6months! All those leaked nappies and struggling not to get it all over them...

I wish I'd been told that a lot of products on the baby market are completely unnecessary.

I wish I had been told that sterilisers were a waste of time - and that most breastpumps just don't work, so don't bother, unless you have something from United Dairies.

How hard breastfeeding can be! It took me 10 weeks for the pain to stop.

And that despite your best plans, baby might not sleep in their lovely crib - only sleeping on or next to you for the first few months will do.

I wish someone had told me it was ok to say no to the constant guests during the first 2 weeks which expected us to wait on them.

That they do eventually sleep through/ take a bottle/ sleep somewhere other than on you :)

I wish someone had said it was ok if they aren't doing things when other babies are - you would never know it now :)

They're all different. If they sleep brilliantly, never cry, are compliant and wonderful, it's not you. If they scream constantly, never sleep and everything and anything upsets them, it's not you. Keep going, do your best and enjoy the smiles when they arrive.

That I didn't need even half the stuff we thought was essential before he was born.

We didn't need the top and tail bowl, because we used unscented, sensitive wipes and they were perfect for both ends.

We didn't need the special bucket to put dirty nappies in, because we bagged them up and put them straight in the outside bin.

We didn't need the weird battery powered massage pillow thing that was meant to help with wind and reflux (although I think that was for older babies rather than newborns), and it terrified DS anyway when he was old enough to use it.

We didn't need the overpriced box of 'essentials' that we never used, not the skin oils, not the powder, not the lotions, all of which just seemed to bother his skin or annoy him when we tried to rub them on him. Not the tiny hairbrush for the almost completely bald baby. Not the thermometer he couldn't keep in his mouth or under his arm. Not the weird bulb thing that was meant to pick his nose. None of it. Cost about £40 and was hardly touched.

All we needed was a basic kit of baby wipes, muslin squares (which acted as changing mats, giant wraps instead of bibs because the cover everything rather than just the bit under the chin, thin sheets, sun shades over the car window, and a hundred other things) decent nappy bags for bagging up dirty nappies, and a few spare popper vests. And one of those strip thermometers that you hold against a forehead and costs a pound.

And I wish someone had told us about Doctor Brown's bottles before we spent a fortune on different brands with different size teats on them, all to try and help his wind and reflux. We saw an instant improvement with the Doctor Brown's bottles, and although they weren't cheap, it would have been better to buy them in the first place than pay so much more getting it wrong time and again until we found out about them.

I wish someone had told me how monumental a change it would make to my relationship with DH, we are only just recovering after 8 months. It is a major upheaval having a new person in your life for which you are its entire world (particularly if breastfeeding). I found that responsibility overwhelming initially, especially as I had already been 'responsible' for 9 months of pregnancy! It was hard not to be able to share the keeping them alive but with someone else!!! I don't know what I had envisaged, but it was different to reality!

It's all good now though and DS is still EBF, and I certainly don't think I would find that aspect quite so difficult if we ever have another.

Just cuddle them and to hell with anything that isn't totally essential. Especially with your first born because you'll never get that time again. And sooner than you think they'll be too busy to cuddle you.

I wish that someone had told me that it all goes so quickly in a way that actually got the message through.

That you have to burp babies after feeding them (and halfway through). Call me an idiot but I thought the mums I'd seen holding their babies against their shoulder were just having a cuddle - I didn't realise there was a point to it!

That breastfeeding can be a real effort, and that it's something you and the baby both have to learn together. Actually, people did tell me this and I thought they were just being feeble (how hard can it be to stick a boob in a baby's mouth, I blithely wondered...).

That if your boobs don't feel different (heavier, firmer) a few days after birth your milk probably hasn't come in, and that if it doesn't feel like you have a suction pump attached to your nipple your baby may not be getting anything out of you. Either way, make a nuisance of yourself and get help from the midwives/health visitors asap!

I wish someone would have told me that my memory would be affected and I would forget things frequently (especially words when trying to finish a sentence). Or maybe they did tell me and I forgot...

That for me, labour wasn't as awful as many people had made out but that afterwards I could feel so utterly drained and exhausted and that was worse than the labour was!

How much I would want my mum (even with very supportive dh)

And that my baby wasn't unusual to not want to sleep anywhere but on one of us - and that it didn't last forever!

Follow your baby's lead. If they're hungry feed them, if they want cuddling hold them, if they're tired let them sleep. Your baby can't tell the time, so it will take time to get into a "routine" (if ever!).

The amount of times I get asked "is she due a feed?" To which my only reply is "That depends, is she hungry?"

I would have loved somebody to tell me how painful breastfeeding can be and given me some advice on how to prevent some of the pain.

That bonding with your baby takes time, not everyone experiences that rush of love when they first see their newborn. I was too tired from a traumatic birth to feel anything, it was a few days before I felt real love for DD.

Savoy cabbage leaves can be your saviour but they do smell as the get roasted by your hot boobs and people may give you odd looks as they peep out from your top

That breast feeding really, really hurts at first!