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MNHQ

Tell Matalan what modern family life looks like for you - £250 prize draw! NOW CLOSED

194 replies

MichelleMumsnet · 20/04/2015 11:04

Matalan have asked us to find out about your modern family life… who do you consider “family”, how do you stay connected, what makes you laugh out loud together?

Here’s what they say, “A family-run business for thirty years, Matalan has always worked to support UK families by taking the time to listen, understand and evolve in order to make sure our products are the right fit for happy homes.

What’s right for the modern family however, looks very different to what it did when we first opened our doors three decades ago. We’re seeing that family today comes in many different sizes and forms and that it is being reshaped and redefined to meet the demands of modern life”.

So what does family mean to you? Tell us about your favourite things you do as a family, what makes you smile and how you stay connected with loved ones.

Everyone who comments on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win £250 to spend in store or online at Matalan.co.uk!

Thanks and good luck

MNHQ

OP posts:
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6
AnimalAddict · 02/05/2015 03:05

The amazing people I surround myself with. They may not all be blood related but they definitely feel like family :)

RebootYourEngine · 02/05/2015 10:27

My immediate family are my child, a couple of my siblings, my nieces and nephews and my parents.

We stay connected by either talking on the phone, in person or texting. We are very close and see each other probably about 3 or 4 times per week.

We do a variety of things together from having a meal together to taking our kids out for the day.

PinkTardis · 02/05/2015 10:59

My 'family' is slightly unconventional, there's me, dp, my 2 kids from previous relationships and then my dps housemate ( lived here a year before I turned up) housemate helps with basic childcare and the kids see him as a big brother , he's 19 and it's like I've acquired a teenage son but I wouldn't ever ask dp to get him to leave as it was his home before mine and I view him as my adopted son ( I'm only 7 years older them him but it's just the way things developed and our natural roles in the home lol)

I moved an hour away from my family to be with dp so we have lots of video calls etc and I visit once a week and drop the kids off then they bring them back the next night and stay for tea.

I wouldn't swap my crazy little set up for all the tea in China.

OinkBalloon · 02/05/2015 13:11

We have a very conventional, even old-fashioned, family. It suits us. I struggle to get my head around the fluid, blended families I see on MN. I know plenty of divorced families in RL, but very few blended families. It feels like a whole different culture to me.

MaryDunlop99 · 02/05/2015 13:59

Family life for us involves days out in the countryside, to enjoy the open spaces, and also have fun! When we return, we have a lovely cooked family meal, and then the kids can go their gadgets, and mum and dad can watch a good film!

embabes7 · 02/05/2015 14:18

My family is small, It's my husband and I, our son and my hubby has a daughter (my step daughter) Im very close with my parents and i'm an only one, so they are still very much in my life and I adore them. Even though i'm 30+ I still have 3 out of my 4 grandparents with us! I have an uncle who married a wonderful lady with 2 children (now grown up) - and that's all my family, so we're pretty tight knit. My husband however is one of four - so lots of brothers and sisters (both blood and in law!) but no one has any children apart from us - we don't really see them all that much as our lives are so very different. I'd say for the man part though its me hubby and son :) x

matphil · 02/05/2015 15:45

Modern day family to me is everyone coming and going at different times, busy lives but still having time for a family meal together.

Nottheshrinkingcapgrandpa · 02/05/2015 16:01

Like a lot of people now, we don't have family near us. We use social media above anything else to all keep in contact though, which helps.

However we also have a number of close friends nearby who the children call Auntie, and they are as close to them as they are their real family.

FrenchieMum2Be · 02/05/2015 16:43

Modern family is welcoming everyone into the fold, whoever they love and irrelevant of step- and half-, 'aunties' and so on... We love everyone the same :). I'm proud to be part of a modern family!

cluckyhen · 02/05/2015 17:31

Modern family life to us is hectic, hubby is a soldier who although we all live together is rarely home. I'm a full time work from home mum who rushes around trying to ensure the house is tidy, the meals are cooked, the kids are in the right place at the right time and on top of coursework and school work - with family members spread far and wide and not able to offer lots of support. It's also a mine field of technology!

knitnut24 · 02/05/2015 17:42

We have reached the stage when everyone has a busy social life. I always insist on us having our dinner together.

compstruck · 02/05/2015 18:53

We eat together and do things together as a family. I feel that is very important. We play board games and talk about different subjects.

Compermo · 02/05/2015 21:31

Family life today is rather busy and hectic. We start off by being in close touch with family when the babies are born, but as they grow, and become involved in more activities and groups etc, it gets less easy to stay in touch, but it's important to make the effort because the family network is very relevant in today's hectic lifestyle, and important to parents, grandparents and children alike.

WhywouldIdothat · 02/05/2015 22:10

Family is about silly in-jokes. We visited an open farm and in the barn there was a donkey, a sheep and a few chickens. The sheep said "Baa" incredibly loudly, so loudly the toddler fell over and the 5-year-old giggled uncontrollably. So now whenever we sing "Old MacDonald" we make a point of singing "With a baa-baa here, and a baa-baa there" for the sheep extra loudly and all fall about laughing: "And on that farm he had a sheep...ee-i-ee-i-o, with a BAA-BAA here and a BAA-BAA there..." etc.!

Tonkatol · 02/05/2015 22:29

My immediate family consists of myself my DH, 3 DDs and 1 DS. My children have never had a great relation with their grandparents on my husband's side; although they live close, they are not particularly interested in us. My husband and I each have two siblings but, apart from my brother, all the others live abroad, in Australia, New Zealand and Canada. My parents were very involved in our family but my mum died when I was expecting my third child and my dad died shortly after my fourth child was born. We do keep in touch with family via phone and social media, but our friends and church family are very important to us and support and encourage us on a day to day basis.

Like many others, money is tight in our family, but love and happiness are never far away. My eldest DD is away at Uni some of the time now, but there is nothing more enjoyable than having all the family sitting around the table enjoying a meal and laughing and sharing news. As a family, we share a love of animals - we have 3 dogs and 9 cats. All are rescue animals and we also foster rescue dogs. This means we spend a lot of time walking the dogs but, living in the UK, we have plenty of gorgeous places close by, either in woods, forests or at the coast, to enjoy plenty of fresh air.

Families today do seem to be, in general, more spread about, but modern technology does mean that we can all keep in touch, share news and photos and build strong relationships.

malaguena · 02/05/2015 23:01

Family (husband and 2 kids) is my absolute priority. Extended family all live abroad, so we are a tiny unit. We have mismatched schedules but we make sure to fit in family time everyday (eating together- be it breakfast or dinner, reading together, playing, going out for a quick coffee...). We try to have a family day out once a week. Sometimes it's a whole day out in a park or museum, sometimes just 2-3h at the cinema, or shopping, or having lunch out. Family time is very very previous to us, and we wish we had more. I used to spend a lot of time with my grandparents and aunties as a child so I'm a bit sad I can't give this to my children, but we keep in touch with skype and phone and make regular trips abroad for holidays.

ikkle87 · 02/05/2015 23:50

In our home the family consists of me, my partner and our son. Outside of the home our family spreads much further. We have relatives on the other side of the world and relatives at the end of the street. We have family that aren't a blood relation but friends that have become like sisters and brothers and who are always there. We also have a surrogate grandma who is called Joan she is a homestart worker and my son loves her.

Joandmike81 · 03/05/2015 00:27

Both myself and my husband work full time, he works shifts so we share childcare.. one week he does the school pick up, the next I do it.
We share the housework, each doing the things we hate least. Family (his mainly) helps us out when we have problems collecting our daughter from school due to work.
We work hard so we can play hard and we play hard together, spending as much time together as possible.

srobbo71 · 03/05/2015 00:59

There are not many set rules. Dad does some housework and I have been known to bring home the bacon. Mealtimes can vary depending on what kind of day we're having and we have been known to have takeaway more than once a week if we have a lot on. The rules of the household are to be respectful and thoughtful toward each other and not to keep worries to ourselves. Quality time together is more important than having material things. We are not afraid to be unconventional and we home educate our older daughter, what is right for one child may not necessarily fit with another. We have a child with additional needs and we love him all the more for his little quirks.

aligiraffe · 03/05/2015 01:03

Our family is close (me, Hubby & kids) but grandparents are not around much (1 deceased, 1 in Oz & 1 not interested so leaves only 1). Only my brother is close to the kids & is still close to me even after all our childhood battles! Hubby has kids from a previous marriage but we have been together for 17 years now & his kids visit regularly even though they have busy & varied lives of their own now. We are very happy & spend time together mainly at family BBQs, & holidays such as Christmas & birthdays. Although the older kids still just visit because they want a chat or just because...

beehummingbird · 03/05/2015 02:05

Making the effort to see extended family regularly.

KittyFan83 · 03/05/2015 02:31

For us, family is blood but it's also choosing to let people in and them earning the right to be there just as much as it is blood. We have had to cut some family members out of our lives. That wasn't done easily and took years of them refusing to change after having been given lots of support to ddl so (I'm talking about major problems here, nothing grey-area, but don't want to give details in a public forum sorry). I've gone from having a small 'family' to a large one, and back to a smaller but tighter one over the years.

I feel a huge responsibility to my nieces, almost like a second mum in a way, because my sibling and my siblings partner really messed up a lot, and my nieces now live with my mum who is older than usual parenting age, so I feel it's important to support her as much as possible and support them because they didn't deserve to live like they did when they were with my sibling and my sibling's partner. My partner is doing the same, even though he isn't related to them by blood and we're not married.

Family should make you stronger - either by supporting you when you need it (be it just feeling connected or by helping you when you're in a crisis of some sort), or by you growing as a person when you support them in those kind of situations. If family isn't making you stronger, you have to ask how much weaker is it making you and, if it is too much (in my case, there were serious safety concerns) then you have to stop thinking of them as family. I know that sounds cold, but a family is only as strong as it's weakest link, and if the weakest links are trying to break everyone else, that's just not sustainable.

I feel good about my conception of what family is - sure, it's vaguer, and more fluid/dynamic than the traditional idea of family, but it adds meaning beyond a simple matter of "we share the same genes". That meaning helps you to be a better person, so it's really valuable.

cathyov · 03/05/2015 08:39

Having been brought up in an extended farming family although I have moved away I still make sure my children visit all the relations and every school holiday we head down to Somerset. We talk often and get together when we can and make the absolute best of family time.

rjsmum11 · 03/05/2015 08:45

Modern family for us is crazy, hard, amazing. Our boys are step brothers and we were always a fantastic unit of 4. Now we are a perfect but crazy unit of 5 with the addition of their crazy but adorable little sister. Grampa is also a big factor and supporter of our modern family.

FUZZ62 · 03/05/2015 09:02

messy house, (i tidy but the mess is back within 30 minutes) hard working husband, bouncing border collie, 3 active children 2, 5,8. early mornings - well normal mornings are 6am .. this is my family, my life and i wouldnt change it for the world.

our background-

my husband has a large family 3 sisters with 9 daughters/sons each mother/father,

mine - my mother and step dad with a step sister i dont see.