OK, here goes...
My eyesight has always been a bit rubbish, yet a strange mix of vanity and shyness meant I rarely wore my glasses...glasses which were over 10 years old (think Saffy in ab fab) and not very effective.
A few years ago (I know the exact time and date, it is that embarrassing), I was working in London on a very big project for a very well known public organisation who are 'upkeepers' of law and order...
We were scheduled to run health-check clinics from a mobile van in various boroughs of London, and it was all very exciting but quite daunting at times, due to the rank of some of our clientèle and the personal nature of the work, plus my shyness.
On this particular day, we were all set up and ready to roll, but, as usual, due to lack of a loo on board the van, we were escorted onto the secure premises to utilise the toilet facilities.
This is where it all goes a bit cringetastic -
I reported to the staff at the front desk, introduced myself, ID badge waved and explained that I needed to use the ladies.
A brief explanation by staff with directions was given.
After walking gingerly along various corridors, following the instructions I had been given, I found the ''wooden door with brass sign'' and entered.
I recall thinking that the room was a clumsy design, as it had two sinks, then another section with a larger sink and, finally, a separate cubicle with a single toilet.
Hey ho, after 2 cappuccinos first thing, I was in no position to over-think this.
I popped into the cubicle and sat down, and just as I started my wee, I heard the wooden door clunk open and heavy footsteps clomp in.
A few moments later, just as I was about to flush, I would hear running water coming from one of the sinks...
As I came out of the loo, I was met with the (blurry) vision of a very tall, very senior ranking male, having a big piddle in what I thought was the large sink.
Cue much shouting and ranting from the chap, whilst presumably still holding his willy, as the running water sound continued. ''What the Hell are you doing in here? This is the GENTS!!''
I turned beetroot red, nearly passed out with the palpitations and scurried out of there, absolutely mortified.
As I lurched into the corridor, I noticed another wooden door with a brass sign further along.
Realisation hit me, hard.
Once back into the safety of the van, I was shaking with a mixture of embarrassment and laughter, still burning with shame and close to tears.
I told my colleagues about my experience, and was mocked mercilessly!
Fast forward to late morning, when my next client was due in for his health-screening...in trotted a very senior member of the organisation with a face like thunder and a familiar voice...
Needless to say, I had my eyes re-tested that week and wore my shiny new specs religiously thereafter, especially on toilet breaks!