Chance to win one of three £100 Lidl vouchers by sharing your Christmas catastrophes and/or tips for a stress-free day...NOW CLOSED

[AngelieMumsnet]

Have you ever had a Christmas catastrophe? Have you burnt the brussels and gift-wrapped the Christmas cake? Or are you in fact a Festive Fairy Godmother, brimming with hints and tips and always on hand to help at this time of year? Please share your worst and best Christmas related moments and festive tips - you could win a Lidl voucher.

Lidl say "With fantastic recipes and tips galore, we want to help you breeze through the festive season, and avoid any disasters along the way. We’d like to know your best festive chaos stories, along with any hints and tips to make things more manageable. We have everything you need to help you get Christmas right; from turkeys and all the trimmings, to sweet treats that are too good to resist, so that you can pull off a flawless Christmas with Lidl without having to blow your budget!"

Everyone who comments below sharing how they got Christmas right (or wrong!) with stories, hints or tips, will be entered into a prize draw where three Mumsnetters will each win £100 worth of Lidl vouchers.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Lidl in further marketing material (anonymously, of course)

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

Wasn't me but my
MIL .My first visit to them.Had known now DH about 6 weeks .She served Christmas Dinner up on plates,not veggies in dishes(which was fine, my family was anything but posh)But there was no turkey....I wondered if their son had told them I was a vegetarian(I'm not ) and this was her concept of a veggie meal . Turned out she was so nervous about entertaining me she had clean forgotten about the turkey .It became a family joke .

Did cook a trout for my
non -meat eating daughter with the innards still inside a couple of years ago -as it came from Tesco I think I just assumed it had been done .In my defence I was quite ill and also entertaining her strictly vegetarian partner for the first time .The veg roast I had made for him wasn't wonderful either )I stick to M and S now ) .

re christmas disasters
one christmas the secondhand cooker sent fire to the wall at the back which was fun , then the electricity went off due to a snowstorm bring down the lines . so a friend brought in an ancient generator that made awful noise just to provide us with lghts . so i cooked the remaining dinner on top of a woodburning stove which then went on fire up the chimney . when i took my somewhat frozen aging parents home a boy thew a stone from a bridge denting the roof of my car so we drove to local police station to report it . my father got out the car to stretch his legs and lost his glasses in the snow . it was an unbelievable day .we had no power for days only the woodburner for heat and the generator went back to its owner as no one could stand the noise . best christmas ever ????country lving you cant write the script

Christmas eve, marzipaning the Christmas cake with homemade marzipan, found I did not have enough. As I had run out of ingredients I decided to improvise with flour and water paste. Duly finished said cake, convinced no one would notice when iced . Everyone did, it tasted disgusting!! Strange, but my children have never eaten Christmas cake since.

One year Father Christmas got the stockings mixed up. I got an action man helicopter and my brother got a tiny tears doll. I refused to swop until I got a handwritten note from Santa apologising for his mistake and asking me to swop with my brother ??

My grandmother was sick in the sprouts once She was unwell all day but insisted on keeping going. Urgh.

Imo the best Christmases involve good food, not too many junky snacks which just make you feel ill, and a bit of silliness.

All the lights in the house stopped working on Christmas Eve. My friend and I ended up prepping the food by torch light while drinking copious amounts of sloe gin.
When I went to cook them the next day they were all the most peculiar shapes and sizes.

There was the year the house flooded. It had been raining heavily for days. 8pm on Christmas eve and it was still pouring, but with the prospect of a spring tide and a storm surge. About 8.30 my sister and I suggested to my grandpa that the water outide was rising and the house might flood. We were assured that it would just run off onto the fields at the back of the house. We repeated this conversation every 20mins or so only to be told we were panicking unnecessarily. Several hours later when we were nearly waist deep in water and being bailed out by firemen he conceded he might have been wrong about that.

Then there was last year where the weather was so bad on Christmas Eve that our massively disrupted travel plans meant we woke up on Christmas morning in a BnB off the M25, which was nowhere near where we were meant to be.

The first Xmas we owned a microwave Mum underestimated its power and the pudding & plastic bowl were still smoking in the back garden 2 days later.

I spent another Xmas in a caravan in Worcestershire with my (now) ex snoring his head off, no heat because the gas froze in the snow and two kittens using me as a springboard. That was fun .

When I was 19 in the dark ages I may have overestimated the amount of marajuana required in the stuffing for 4. Cue hysterical giggling, everyone falling asleep during Batman and the only biscuits in the house being wrecked when someone knocked a bong over in the tin. Dare you to use that one Lidl

Last year we had lived in our house for 6 months and hadn't learnt everything about our oven yet, so on Christmas eve when our oven just wouldn't work we had to resort to calling out an emergency repair on our oven to be told it wasn't working because the timer had been set. We had baked cookies the day before and set the timer so they didn't burn. At least this year we know that thats not likely to happen again.

My best tip is plan, plan, plan. I always try and make sure I have all the extras for Christmas dinner in a few weeks early like sauces, pickles, Yorkshire puddings, pigs in blankets, stuffing. I buy my meat early and store it in the freezer. I then just need to get my fruit and veg and I go as soon as the supermarket opens on the 23 or 24th. Then all I have to do is cook it!

Years ago when DC were tiny we lived in a house in a village that was quite isolated. The house was cold and we couldn't afford to keep heating on all the time.It was ineffective when we had it on! We bought a frozen turkey..left it to defrost, for 4 days, and it just wouldn't defrost...Christmas morning we had it soaking in water in the bath...we didn't want to risk food poisoning but the bathroom had ice on the inside of the window..we ended up with no turkey..my DGM brought some cooked chicken with her.. and a blanket to wrap round her legs

Last Christmas my 7yo niece cried and cried because the little wooden nutcracker's arms fell off in the very posh crackers my mum had bought. She wouldn't believe the arms weren't supposed to move, even after being offered another from someone else's cracker and then getting a new one to pull herself - and breaking the arms off both of those. Her mum had just about got her calmed down by the time the meal ended when it was time to open presents.
She counted up her presents and her brothers. Same number. Then cue more tears as her little brother's presents were BIGGER than hers.
Luckily she had failed to spot that the biggest present of all was for her. Didn't matter that it was only a bag for carrying her doll. It was one more present than her brother got, and bigger than any of his!!

Top tips: 1. cheap crackers are the best

1. No matter how careful you are to be fair, someone will always feel hard done by.

About 20 years ago before DH and I were married - and still quite young and childless, we stayed at his parents and went out on Christmas day night. Came back late and quite tiddled, and hungry. Heated up leftover Turkey and trimmings etc, lashed gravy on it all, scoffed it and both spent night and much of boxing day feeling very sickly.
Boxing day, another big family meal, the toffee sauce for the sticky toffee pudding was nowhere to be found. So, not gravy then.

So glad I am not the only one to have had disasters (too numerous to mention!). Bully for you, all you perfect people who are so perfectly organised. Don't be too smug - it may happen to you one day!

This is true:

The Present of Christmas Past

"I'm going to buy a present
for everyone this year;
Mum and Dad and Sis and Bro;
everyone who will be here.
Oh wait I forgot, there's another guest
who'll be with us on Christmas day,
so I'll get a present for them as well
if it's not too much to pay.

"I've saved and saved
I've got enough
to get them all something nice. ?
It will be hard to spend all of my cash
as saving's my personal vice.
But I'm going to do it
and nothing will stop me;
it's the time of year for sharing,
and if I don't break this mean streak now
I might end up cold and uncaring ."

This is the promise our hero made
and brave it was indeed.
He determined to be generous,
kind and good
though it made his young heart bleed.

Off he went down to the shops
his money in his pocket
he was only twelve
his intention was good
give him credit and don't knock it.

Up and down Morriston High Street
he trawled to fill his Christmas pledge
till almost all his money was gone
and his nerves were set on edge.

He had one more present to buy
and wandered into Boots ?
where his eye happened on a pretty aerosol
keenly priced to suit.

He sprayed it into the air to sniff,
decided it smelled good
paid the checkout girl the asking price
then went home to his neighbourhood.

Christmas Day arrived at last
and presents were ripped open.
Dad had Old Spice,
Mum had Tweed
and Sis and Bro had soap and
all that was left was for the lady guest
to unwrap the final gift
but when she did her face went red
for she was extremely miffed.

Our hero had not one idea
as to why his gift was spurned
in fact it was a good few years
before the truth was learned.

Mum gave guest some bath salts instead
so all was ended well
and simply told the young lad
that the guest didn't like the smell.

The moral of this story is
whenever you are able
don't buy ladies presents with
"Intimate Deodorant" on the label!

Michele Brenton

We were hosting 10 people in our narrow kitchen, had ordered a posh organic turkey from the butchers (which cost an eyewatering £90 despite being on a teeny budget!) and watched as one by one our guests were struck with gastric flu and began vomiting and shivering...not a good year, and the one and only time we've spent that sort of money on a turkey!!

Scariest MIL in the universe set up the electric coffee percolator (huge status symbol in the eighties) on the dining room floor (!) while we were assigned table clearing duty after Christmas lunch. She parked herself on the bottom stair and rang her sisters while we passed in front of her,marching to and from the kitchen with the dirty pots.
Life being Life, we managed to knock the percolator over onto the (handily brown and orange) carpet. Squeaky pants time as we tried to clear it up before our crime was discovered. We scraped the grounds off the floor and put them onto a plate. Unfortunately we forgot to warn DH's younger brother, who thinking he had found an undiscovered cache of christmas pudding crumbs, greedily got a spoon and shovelled the lot in just as he walked in front of his mother.

No,dear reader,spat-out coffee grounds do NOT look nice on the door.Or the wall. Or your mother's blouse...

M and S lost large online food order( my house didn't exist) on Xmas eve. Daughter and husband turned up with a "surprise" puppy who proceeded to piddle everywhere. And worse.
Son locked himself in bedroom as he and his girlfriend had split up. Second daughter asked if we would like to meet her boyfriends mother over Xmas. She came from Sydney. And stayed five days.
Step grandchildren aged one and three arrived. With chicken pox. My mother spent the whole time avoiding them in case she got shingles .
Food all prepared for Xmas lunch and went into the hostess trolley. Everyone complete with paper hats awaited with anticipation.
Small child had switched off hostess trolley. Food cold. Couldn't microwave as best china had been used and couldn't be microwaved.
Decanted food into everyday china.
Usual competition between grandmothers as who was most loved. My mother was heard to say that turkey "wasn't what it used to be".
Husband took to his bed for 3days with"flu"and proceeded to ring a bell when he needed tissues, lemsip, cups of tea. Or a chat. My fixed stare and smile was beginning to ache.
It can only get better this year. Or not

I once had my husbands family for round Christmas dinner. Arrrrgh. I also had my mother, two dc's, and was pregnant with no 3 but had not yet told anyone. It was a disaster. His family didn't like this and couldn't eat that. I felt sick all day. My husband got pissed off with all the kids and went upstairs "to rest". I couldn't wait for them to leave and I couldn't even get pissed!
Never again. We have never invited anyone (except my mother) since.

Worst- hours of cooking & the kids didn't eat it, just sat arguing :-(
This year- I'm using everything pre-cooked to shove in quickly no preparation & making it a late lunch.

We broke down on the motorway on Christmas morning one year heading for my parents house. Car fully loaded with presents (and the dog) thankfully this was pre DD! We had to stand in the snow on the hard shoulder and wait for the breakdown truck! Everyone insisted on waiting for us to arrive rather than plating up two dinners so we delayed dinner for 7 people! Ooops! Really appreciated it when we finally got there though!

I went to the sales after Christmas, leaving my husband and kids to make ice cream in the new machine, using freshly made custard which I put in the fridge to chill. When I got back the children were sickly and green, having eaten the lot. But the custard was still in the fridge - he'd used the bowl of goose fat to make the ice cream and the children had eaten it, even though they said it tasted like chicken.......

"You.WILL.eat.and.enjoy.every.course.of.my.traditionally.overcooked.Christmas.Dinner.even.if.it.kills.me .. and.you" was my ageing mum's attitude to this (anything but fun) culinary day. Even the worried dog dreaded the run up to her sulky self-induced panic that every detail must happen as it had done for 3 generations.
On our best Chsmas Day ever, a total fiasco left us wheezing with laughter for hours, all except for dear 'elegant.but.cross.patch.Mother' who threw fork at father's head for the loudest guffaw. She'd thumped in from the kitchen after shrieking to turn all the lights out for her Chsmas Pudding Ceremony. In came a sodden, blazing inferno over-doused with cognac.The crackling holly was smoking then sent up a distress flare. Tripping over her own brandied slippers she blamed the innocent dog, nowhere near her.
The teatowel on her arm was smouldering from the Aga, the loud bang was the box of stand-by matches on the side of the dish igniting, and with her trip, the hollow bone-handled serving spoon turned into an exocet from the flaming sea of brandy. It rocketed whistling onto the Persian rug and set THAT alight. The vintage pud had turned into a methane contaminated bonfire, and she STILL insisted on serving it.
Mmmmmm. Lovely. Just like Granny's. Next year we booked a hotel.

Lists, lists and more lists!! Buy non-perishables weeks in advance to spread the cost, including the alcohol - although in all honestly I always have to get more wine in closer to Christmas day

Go shopping for the fresh food armed with a list, without children and with a smile on your face. It will be hectic, people will push and shove, or see their neighbour and need to conduct a 20 minute conversation in the middle of the aisle. Take a deep breath

And don't take it too seriously. If the people round the table are loved ones, they won't be that bothered by a burnt brussel, or a crunchy carrot!