I've told B&Q twice already about our Garden of Woe, but third time lucky-eh? 
Our house is a new build property where the developers went bust half way through construction. Consequentially, it was finished off as cheaply as possible by contractors hired by the bank in order to be able to sell the houses and scrape back money. So the entire house, let alone the garden, has been unloved right from the start.
We managed to gather the funds to get the house and moved in five days before Christmas to no working central heating, no flooring, no help with new build snagging or anything. We also had to contend with everything the disgruntled builders had left for us after their firm went bust and didn't pay them. Concrete down the drains, for example.
Since that time, we've been working hard to make the inside of the house habitable on a budget of peanuts. I think the base-paint coloured, water-damaged ceilings and walls will be staying that way for a while yet! Consequentially, the garden has been woefully neglected and utterly unloved, beyond the occasional attack we make on pulling out the weeds and digging up dangers.
I call it a garden, but wasteland would be a better description. We have unfinished fences that are missing panels and have been painted only on our neighbours sides, so we have charming orange dribble marks. We have dusty patches of bare ground dotted with half bricks and buried construction knife blades, riddled with deep routed weeds and, my personal favourite, the muddy bog that is the pathway to the garage. Our patio is one row of wobbly, slippery slabs next to the house - not enough to fit a chair on.
Once upon a time, the land on which our house was built used to be an orchard. So, the garden should have a lot of potential! With a bit of money, time and love we could clear out the junk that has been piled up, paint the fences, put in some flower beds and lay some proper turf so the garden becomes safe for our DD to play out in.
We'll get to it eventually, but it's likely to be a few years yet. It'd be lovely to be able to get the garden sorted while DD is still young enough to enjoy it!