NOW CLOSED: DDs and periods: share your thoughts, experiences with Lil-Lets – you could win a £200 John Lewis voucher

[AnnMumsnet]

Hello - we've been asked by the team at Lil-Lets to find out from mothers (and fathers) how they approach conversations about periods with their daughters - or if your DD is a bit young - how you think you'd introduce the topic with them and how you'd help her prepare and advise on what protection to use.

Here are some questions as a starting point;

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

Lil-Lets say "We are proud to be the only sanitary brand in the UK to offer products designed specifically for teens. With their younger and smaller bodies in mind, the range of towels and liners are shorter and narrower than the adult range to provide the perfect fit. To make things even easier, we have brought all of this together in a 'Teen Starter Pack' which includes 2 lite tampons, 1 regular tampon, 2 regular applicator tampons, 1 teens liner pouch, 4 day teens towels, 2 night teens towels and 1 becoming a teens booklet for advice on puberty and using the products"

Have a look at it by clicking here - and let them know what you think

Share your thoughts, experiences and stories on this thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £200 John Lewis voucher - 5 runners up will also get a teen starter pack (worth £3.99).

For more information and advice on talking to your daughter about periods visit the parents section of the Lil-Lets website

Thanks
MNHQ

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

As mum to a year 5 DD, we started talking about it after the year 4 SexED video they had at school. She was open to a discussion, not embarrassed and keen to have a rummage through my things and just learn all about growing up!

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
Totally open about it now - you have to establish a warm, open rapport whereby you can discuss anything - periods are just another part of life, so it comes easily. The other day she had a 'show' so am expecting them to start soon and we discussed this in a very open way so that she is not scared and feels comfortable going to me, dad or teacher.

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time? Being the same as everyone else, not wanting to be too different, yet knowing that she will probably be one of the first as she is developing first.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older? We already found this great kit (the starter kit that you mention) and when we got home had 'fun' peeling the backs off all the pads and putting them in knickers and seeing what they felt like.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods? N?A at moment, but as a homeopath I will be giving her remedies to help her and teaching her about a healthy diet.

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
I think we just have to look back - we were the same! Deep breathing, walk away if need be and lots of hugs. When the going gets really tough, then that is when we should take them out for a mum/daughter day to shift the energy into one of positivity.
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods? Enjoy the changing nature of the relationship with your daughter to one of guidance and growing friendship.

One other thing - why are schools not teaching themabout mooncups, etc. There are so many health and ecological benefits. I want my daughter to not only be a fine young woman, but a planet conscious one too!

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

My DD is 10 and we had this conversation a while back so she is prepared. I don't think either of us 'raised' the subject as such, it just came about, probably in relation to me buying tampons or moaning about feeling awful. I think it's best to be as matter of fact as possible - I'm not going to embarrass either of us by going on about her 'becoming a woman' so I've just explained the facts (and given her a book so she can explore it by herself if she prefers) and said that it can be uncomfortable, messy, painful and a right PITA but generally it's a good thing because it means your body is doing what it should.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?

She thinks the whole thing is gross so hasn't asked much more after that initial conversation. God knows what she will be like when something happens!

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?

She likes music and clothes, is passionate about her gym classes and quite enjoys school but I would say the biggest influence on her (good and bad) is her peers - what people at school think is very important to her

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?

I would prefer her to use tampons as I know from experience that they are more comfortable and discreet but I'm not sure whether they are recommended for younger girls - clearly I need to do some reading up. In fact the idea of giving her something to keep with her in case 'it' happens when I'm not around is a very good one, I hadn't thought of that at all.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

I'll offer her pain relief and sympathy - the wine that helps me through every month wouldn't be appropriate! I'll try and prepare her as much as I can (if she wants to discuss it) by providing some protection and by warning her the signs to look out for - I remember when I started I had a bad tummy ache all the day before and didn't know why!

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)

We seem to have plenty of them already so maybe something is imminent?! I cope by trying to sympathise and remember how I feel at certain times of the month but I won't pander to her - she has to learn to deal with it the same as the rest of us. If she gets too stroppy I suggest a 5 minute cool down in her room where she can rant/cry/whatever and then has to come out and behave like a normal person.

~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

I would say be matter of fact - we all have them!But be guided by your DD and how she wants to handle it - some will prefer silly names and being made to feel 'grown up', others will just want to pretend it's not happening.

Seeing as people are answering even if their DD(s) are too young, may I answer even if I don't have a DD (yet), as I could really do with a £200 JL voucher.
If I ever have a daughter, I think my approach would be:

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off? You or your DD?
Probably mother-lead. Be open about having your own periods, don't make it a mystery. So it's always known about from a young age.
~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
I would hope any child of mine would feel they could talk to us about anything. I shall certainly encourage being open and frank and kind.
~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
N/a. Being conceived? :)
~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
Her decision, obviously. I use cloth sanpro, I would encourage these as they are better for the environment, and cheaper, but she will use what she feels comfortable using. Though I do have concerns about TSS, and have never gotten on with tampons with this in mind.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
Well, I'd be able to empathise! Practical things would be a lovely warm bath, hot water bottle, a massage if she'd want one. Practical things, provide the necessary equipment - towels, pads, whatever, and chocolate. :)
~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
Just always be there for your child, accept them, and be extra kind.
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?
Remember what it was like for yourself. Be open and honest, don't treat it like a horrible thing, try and get them to see it in a positive light, like a period is a cleansing out of our systems.

I have a ds, but I think the open from the start approach is right. My mum never talked about periods with me, and certainly never bought me anything specific. Ds and I on the other hand chat about stuff as and when it occurs to him, so he'll grow up just thinking of periods as a thing that women have, and that towels and tampons aren't something hilarious.

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

• down to earth approach that is led by, initiated by dd's if possible. I try and be open, answer questions honestly. ~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
• my dd's are young,per puberty so are just interested in the facts, they are happy to ask questions e.g. When they've seen me on the loo etc. ~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time? *my dd's have associated blood with pain, so worry that it's a sign of injury or that it's unmanageable. They want to be reassured that it's fine. ~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
• I'll present the different options and let them try them out.
  ~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods? *mine are too young. ~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
• patience, try not to be reactive. ~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?
• don't say you will throw a 'welcome to Womanhood party' as my mum did once I started my periods. I never told her when I started as I was mortified at the prospect of a lot of lentil weaving types celebrating my time of the month. I would have also wishes that my mum made tsmpons and pads available to me. I suppose that I hope I'll help my dd's feel that periods are normal, give them the support and necessaries to help them manage theirs.

I have two boys and a girl, and it'll be a while before I need to do this. I am also a GP so fairly frequently deal with girls and their mums in the surgery talking about period pain, contraception etc.

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

I will continue to do what I already do with the boys, and talk about bodies and puberty whenever it comes up. My older boy who is 8, knows about periods, as well as the facts of life, and he knows that sanitary protection exists as a concept. He hasn't asked any further yet, but I daresay he might. I try to be as matter of fact as I can be without embarrassing him. We also have age appropriate books, and I'll be making sure that even if my daughter reaches menarche quite young (some of my patients are 8 or 9 when they first menstruate) she'll be well prepared, with bits and bobs in the cupboard etc, and a book or two to explain what happens. I think I would wait until she asks, and let it happen organically, unless it's getting to the age where things might start to happen, in which case I might initiate the conversation.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?

I expect she'll be a bit curious, and a bit embarrassed, when the time comes. But I really think it's important that she feels she CAN talk to me.

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?

How to do it! How to use towels or tampons. What it feels like. What if I feel unwell? What do I do with used sanitary ware? Where should I keep it? Should I tell mum? Am I normal??

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?

I will lay out the options and let her decide. Will probably get her some towels, some tampons (applicator and non applicator) and maybe a mooncup - then let her decide for herself once she's tried them out.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

If she gets pain I will be sympathetic as I suffered dreadfully when younger. I will give her plenty of painkillers and seek GP advice if that doesn't so the trick. I will make sure she knows that while she may be lucky she may also get some pain and she can ask me for help if she does.

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)

Let her have time and space to express her emotions, alone or with friends if that helps. I'm going to try not to freak out too much if she's vile to me!

~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

My mum was great, very matter of fact, and she kept me informed by buying me sanitaryware and buying some good books. I'll try to be the same.

DD1 is 11.5, but clearly a long way from starting periods (I was nearly 16!). We did have a chat a year ago, as she was having the talks at school - she was fairly unconcerned about the whole thing, and actually found the whole concept a bit unbelieveable/amusing! She never really notices what goes on in my bathroom and has never asked me about period or methods of sanitary protection.

In the next few months, I will think about revisiting the subject and maybe equip her with some supplies - the teen starter kit sounds good.

Her best mate has already started her periods, and I think they have shared some information, which is a good thing - I'm sure I learned way more from my friends than I did from parents/teachers!

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
In our family we have always been very open about everything; my DD was always very inquisitive and I always tried to answer her questions honestly and in a way she could understand - she used to follow me everywhere and I explained to her very early on (I think she was about 3) that the blood didn't mean I was hurt, it just meant there was no little brother or sister in my belly for this month, and at the time she didn't ask me to explain any further... But in time we talked about periods several times and quite openly. Her brother knows just as much and I try to be just as open and informative with both. If they hadn't asked me so early on I would have started the conversation. I bought several books that approach the issues of changing bodies and growing up, but they seemed uninterested.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
I think she is slightly embarrassed about anything to do with HER body, but she seems not to mind discussing my menopause!!

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
How to bring an emergency kit to school without running the risk of someone rummaging in her bag and finding it. We have found a pretty little bag that looks like it could be a pencil-case. I think there is definitely an opportunity in the market for some cool container for Tweens/teens to put pads/wet towels/spare pants etc. Also make up, and how to remove it and prevent spots, how go keep her increasingly greasy hair clean, deodorants, fashion, how to look 'cool', make new friends, eat healthily.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
DD is 11 and not started yet, she carries a couple of individually wrapped panty liners to see her through if it should happen when she's out. I don't think I would push her towards tampons unless she'd wanted to try them. I couldn't stand tampons when I was younger but decided they were definitely for as I got more into sport and swimming, so I will advise her to try and see as soon as she got a bit more attuned to changes she's going through. Possibly also mention mooncup.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

N/A for now, but I had dreadful pains and my mum took me to a gynaecologist when I was 14 who put me on the pill which made it better. I hope she won't have to go through the same.

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

Patience patience patience and more patience. I was a dreadfully moody teenager and am now going through horrible mood swings of my own during the beginning of my menopause, so my DD's adolescence is going to be a challenge... But I would say keep remembering that it's not personal, just chemical, and necessary. Whenever we go through a door slamming tantrum I tell myself (and her) that it's her hormones interfering with rational thought and that it's just a phase. Soon there will be other problems to worry about!

Dd1 is almost 13. Definitely well into secondary sexual characteristics, body hair, but not menstruating yet

Have instigated conversation with her, but am aware that she has had sex Ed for four or so years at school, and also had pre-teen workshops at youth activities.

She is ok to discuss it if I start a discussion, but isn't particularly interested as it isn't an issue yet. I suspect she will want to talk more come the moment...

We have discussed towels and tampons, and I have bought a selection of different 'teen' products for her to consider. She has them in her room, and we have discussed that she should be taking some with her when she is away overnight etc, just in case.

Dd1 is a competitive dancer, and I suspect that tampons will work better for her long term in.terms of discretion. That said, she needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses to use, so I have just bought a range. In my head I'm old fashioned enough to assume that towels/liners would be better for a while, but in lifestyle terms I think practicality of tampons will win out.

No cramping yet... But if she inherits my family traits this will be an issue for the first few years. She already exercises a lot, so I will just be proffering pain killers and hot water bottles, and chilling under a duvet with a good book.

She is having some mood swings, but we aren't really in the thick of it yet, judging by some of her friends... at the mo we are getting away with sensible questions, an eyebrow raise or two, a quick squeeze, a cuddle, and if at all possible, deflect to laughter. Mostly trying to ignore.

I think that you can prepare to an extent, but there will always be an element of surprise. And that's okay. As long as you have basic supplies in, and an understanding with your dd that this will happen, and it's ok, then when it comes you can relax and know it's all on hand.

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

My dd is 12 and started a few months ago. Both my children have always been aware that I have periods, that I wear STs and that sometimes they are painful. Conversations started when they were very small, and have just got more detailed/emotional over time. Once dd started going through puberty we've spoken more, sometimes led by dd, sometimes by me.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?

She seems quite relaxed about it, I don't see it as any more difficult than any other conversation really.

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?

Right now, she doesn't like them. They are too long, too often and too painful. She also worries about leaking and staining favourite clothes.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?

dd and I went shopping a year or so ago and got lots of different packs (I've always used Always, but wanted her to know there were plenty of options). She doesn't seem terribly concerned about the brand (she did like some of the wrappers more than others though). We've bought some tampons too, but I don't wear them and she's not too sure.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

dd takes neurofen, and has hot water bottles and baths. If I think that the pain is getting too much I will take her to the doctors (I had nasty periods as a child, not really resolved until I went on the pill)

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)

dd had some wild mood swings in the year or so before she started, we talked about them, and she is aware to watch out for feelings that seem to come out of nowhere. Mostly we talk a lot and have lots of cuddles, but dh and I also make sure that she knows when she has stepped over the line.

~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

Talk early and often. Get stuff ready so your child is prepared and has choices. Talk to any sons you have as well as daughters. Be nice to your dd, and recognise that she may find it all quite difficult. Don't force her to do sports when she is feeling rotten, let her know that she may have leaks and that's OK and no big deal, and if she is in pain do something to help. In short don't be like my mother who was really unsupportive.

My DD had a nurse at school to discuss it, which started my DD asking questions. I got her a book aimed at her age group that answered a lot of her questions, anything else I have answered in a straight forward way. She isnt very comfortable talking to me, tbh, wish she was! She blushes if I ask her if she needs a top up of towels etc. She isnt very regular so she finds it hard to 'be prepared' despite my best efforts. I am hoping as she gets older she will find it easier.

She does get hormonal and grumpy, I try to ignore it and offer hot water bottle and paracetamol for cramps.

She reads magazines a lot and I think she gets a lot of advice from them.

What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

DD is still very young but having grown up in a family where these "sorts of things" were all a bit taboo and embarrassing, I intend to be open and frank and talk about it casually in every day life, not as something secret and ominous. I should start the conversation.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
We haven't yet, still too young but we do talk about how her baby borhter came out of my tummy and drinks milk from Mummy's boobies etc

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
CBeebies!

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
I'll encourage her to use Lillets as they are comfortable and can be carried discretely.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

Offer her a hot water bottle and make sure she isn't embarrassed if she runs into any problems eg stains her clothing

What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD? I dont think it matters who as long as someone does. i think honest and open is best

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you? she seems fine about it, nt worried or embarassed

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
why it happens

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
I would like to think she would try pads until shes more comfetable and able to use tampons

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
NA as not yet, but would assume normal paracetomol and hot water bottle.

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
dont go there!
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?
dont let it be a surprise, be open and honest and show there is nothing to be embarassed about, then shes more likely to talk to you

What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
I have never fudged anything as a kind of 'wait til you're older to know' subject - all questions get answered as they get asked. Matter of fact helps.
~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
She is fine - refers to pads etc as 'things' or 't's but would ask if there was an issue
~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
probably avoiding leaking and not explaining about avoiding swimming
~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
started off by giving her 'teenage' ranged stuff ages before she started, explained how they worked, and she stayed in for a while once she started and decided what worked for her
~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

started off by giving her 'teenage' ranged stuff ages before she started, explained how they worked, and she stayed in for a while once she started and decided what worked for her _ I don't mean for days or anything! just had a bit of quiet time to get used to the whole thing!
~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods? Painkillers, warm bath, and practical things: spare pair of school trousers/ skirt for locker, small bag with pad, lip gloss, etc - make it normal!
~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
Haha. Any advice gratefully received!
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods? Get over your own awkwardness. Inform your boys early on - my 3 know as much as they need to for their ages.

I discussed with my DD at the same time the school did. Answered all questions as they arose in a very matter of fact way - I am of the opionion that periods are a fact of life and you just get on with it and don't let them interfere with your daily life as far as possible.

Called Periods periods, none of this Aunty Flo rubbish. Bought her age appropriate towels and tampons, but told her that tampons were really the best way to go (I used these from Period 1) and from about her third period this is what she did. (She and I are both keen swimmers and periods have never stopped this)

Re Cramps, I told her to take a couple of strong painkillers and carry on with life, which she has on teh odd occasion she has suffered. . No days off school.

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
thankfully for me when dd was 8 her cousin came to stay with us one night, the night that her cousin started her period! It was a fantastic night actually because it game me experience of dealing with it and made dd ask loads of questions!! If that hadn't happened then I would have quite happily started the conversation, in fact I had bought a book in preparation for this reason.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
She is really comfortable discussing periods with me. We have a very goo relationship and she can talk to me very openly (she is only 9 though so there is time to change

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
the only concerns she has raised so far is about the pain. I have reasured her the best I can with this.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
I have told her I would prefer her to use sanitary towels just to start with and the I have recommended a mooncup (something I have) It is up to her though when it happens and I will go along with what she wants

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
She hasn't got this far but when this happens I will give her nurofen and offer a hot water bottle. I would also tell her a bath soothes me

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
Please dont even go there, I live in lala land and my daughter will NEVER have any moodswings whatsoever and will be a perfect young lady

~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?
Just to go with it and to be open and honest. if you cannot talk to your dcs then they will struggle.
About a year ago I started something called girly time with my dd. During this short time we do our nails or hair, and we talk about friends at school, boys and then I see if she has any questions. This has helped AMAZINGLY and she is so open and honest with me now because of it. We have talked about periods in this time too. It is something I would recommend to anyone

I had a look at the lilets book also and I think it is great. The idea of a starter pack with a few trials is a great idea. It is worth noting though that girls as young as 8 need this information so I personally think it would be a great idea to have 2 different packs. Maybe one for those aged under 11 and those over? With that idea just try to break down the wording so that a younger girl will understand things clearer.- just a thought :)

What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
I think it very much depends on the child. My dd started her period when she had just turned 10 and it was a bit of a shock. Prior to this we had conversations about it generally and I was always very open about my period.
How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you? Prior to starting she struggled to accept that this would happen to her one day. I didn't push it but I did get her a "cool" book about puberty and stuff which was aimed at girls and she liked that and it opened up conversations.
What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
I think there are practical issues to be considered with younger girls. If they are in primary school there are issues such as where to dispose of sanitary products at school. Embarassment if they are the only one of their friends who have started etc. Finding the right towels for very small girls (Li-lets teen range is good I have to say)
What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older? I automatically offered towels to my dd at first. Now she has had periods for a couple of years I have broached tampons but she is not happy to "go there". I anticipate as she gets older she may reconsider.
If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods? My dd does have cramps I generally offer paracetamol, lots and lots of tlc and pampering. Practically, just be prepared, don't be caught out as it can happen a lot earlier than you anticipate.
Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
I do worry about my dd as she has terrible PMT,she also has autism so I think that increases her anxiety and mood swings. I have no tips I'm afraid
What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods? My dd saw starting her period as somehow rushing her into growing up. She felt in some way it signified the end of being a "little girl" and this distressed her as she was only 10. Lots of literature talks about entering womanhood and becoming a young woman, my dd did not want to hear this. On reflection I would say be mindful of the language you use with very young girls and to ensure they don't feel they are being forced to grow up too quickly.

I meant to add, it is still a struggle to get the "right" sanitary towel for young girls. We have lots of issues with leakage and staining and the right fit/length etc. I know we're not the only ones as I've had conversations on here about it!

Thornrose, I worry about that too. Young girls are different to us, they must need slimmer towels. I'm surprised there isn't a bigger range of products for young girls.

This is going to sound fake and I honestly don't work for lil-lets but I found (or dd1 did) the starter pack to be very helpful. Dd1 has found the lil-lets applicator tampons to work best for her but the teen towels were also good. Much better for her than the standard adult ones I use.
My key piece of advice are to make sure your daughter has snuggly fitting dark comfy pants. Towels will slide all over the place and that both minimises that and makes leaks less obvious. She'd also had a small pretty bag in her handbag for a couple of years before she started with spare pants and towels in it. Of course when she needed it, it was empty as she'd lent the towels to her friends

What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
I think you should raise it as early as reasonably possible. My dd started her periods at the age of 11 - quite early really - so I was glad we's talked about it. I think it's important to answer questions even from a young age - when she asked what my tampons were or why I was putting a pad in when she was very little I always tried to give an age appropriate response. I bought her book when she was about ten explaining about all the changes her body would go through etc so she could read it and ask any questions.
How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you? She used to be quite embarrassed - that was why the book worked well so she could read up in her own time. Going to stay with wonderful sil and her two girls really helped in the summer. We talk about everything and it helped dd to understand that it's not something to be embarrassed about - it's more like a private club for women!!
What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time? She is one of the first to start and feels embarrassed about being different. What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older? I keep a huge selection of products in the bathroom cupboard so she can take her pick and experiment a bit. She absolutely doesn't want to use tampons at the moment - though was concerned about having to miss swimming. They are there if she wants to try - it's up to her.
If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods? Dd is lucky in that she doesn't seem to get any cramps. I always ask and wouldn't hesitate to give her paracetamol. I think if you suspect your dd might be about to start it is important to talk about it so she is ready, get some supplies in and suggest she carries a pad and a spare pair of knickers discreetly in her schoolbag just in case. I'd also explained that she could always ask a female teacher - stressing any woman would completely understand even if she feel embarrassed about it. Luckily dd was at home in the summer holidays so no great drama.
What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods? Try to be open without obsessing. When it happened to dd it was no big deal - we'd talked about it, she was slightly expecting it and she just got on with it. She hates talking about it and I respect that - I was the same at her age. I would also reiterate that it is important to raise it in good time - no good putting your head in the sand thinking they are too young to need to know - the younger they are the more time they have to get used to the idea.

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?
I think it has to be a continuous, gradually more complex conversation. I think ti started the first time she asked where babies come from, and it will evolve over time into more details about the plumbing.
~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?
She's too young to have talked about periods yet. I'm hoping that by starting young with answers to any questions, she'll feel comfortable enough to ask me when she's older.
~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?
Why I sometimes need to wear a nappy is her main concern at the moment.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?
In a few years time I will prepare by buying some towels and applicator tampons for her. Whether this is in the form of a pack like Lil-lets linked to, I'm not sure. Woudl depend on what is available, but am certainly intrigued by that. ill also make sure she knows she can use my towels/tampons if she needs to. Though am being slowly brainwashed by Mumsnet into considering a mooncup :)
~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?
Lots of sympathy - I had horrifically bad cramps some months as a teen. Hot water bottle, ibrupofen, take her to GP if necessary.
Practical things: calm nerves about the first one, perhaps by discussing what I was scared of, and how I dealt with problems. Sort out small purse for her to carry emergency supplies in. Make sure she does know about periods before they start (very unlikely she won;t but I know of a girl my age who didn't when she started, so am aware it can happen)
~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)
No. AM just hoping I can deal with it ....
~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods
Don't be embarrassed talking about it. If you act like it's all perfectly normal, the conversation goes much easier - and they wont' keep asking questions (that's from my experience as science teacher, having had to teach sex ed to multiple age groups!)

~What sort of approach works best? Who do you think should start the conversation off?you or your DD?

we've been kind of having the conversation since they were little, just changing the level of detail.

~ How does your DD feel about discussing periods with you?

She seems to just ask what she wants to know.

~ What do you think is of interest or concern to your daughter at this time?

None of her friends have started their periods yet. She's more interested in babies and how they're made at the moment.

~ What about protection? How do you and your DD decide which option to go for - does this change as they get more used to having their period or get older?

Not yet an issue.

~ If your DD suffers with menstrual cramps how do you manage this? Are there any practical things you can do to help your DD if you suspect she is about to start having her periods?

First question not relevant as yet. As for the second, making sure she has a place to keep a towel so when she starts she's ready.

~ Finally, mood swings are commonplace during puberty to you have any tips or concerns you can share? - (or should we not even go there?!)

She's already Miss Melodrama, shudder to think what it's going to be like as a teenager!

~ What tips or advice would you share with other parents about puberty and periods?

Not as yet!

DD has only just turned 4 but we have had a few brief chats about periods. She had asked me what the machines were for in ladies toilets so I felt it was better to explain sooner than later.

My words were something like "when girls turn into teenagers their bodies get ready to have babies when they are grown up women. And the place where babies grow has to bleed a little bit every month to keep it working properly. So ladies need a little teeny-tiny nappy to catch the blood". I won't win any agony aunt awards but it seemed to be the best way of explaining it to a 4yo with her equally short attention span. I'll fine tune the facts as she gets older.

I've been meaning to explain them to her 6yo brother too but keep forgetting, this thread has reminded me I need to do it soon. (we've done how babies are made and come out, I've just overlooked periods).

I don't have periods anymore but I did keep all the sanitary towels and tampons so they can muck about with them in the bathroom.