I work on Christmas all year - I roll over the excel presents spreadsheet in early January to capture any great sales buys, remember anything about things they'd love/need and set a budget for the year too. Especially as I have over 40 to buy for (large families all around). It also doubles as my crafting list (cos it takes me so long that I need to start work on some things in Jan to have them by Xmas). But most people never even see/hear about that.
Because I work on that all year (and I don't try to spend loads, it's about thinking carefully what individuals would love), it means I am usually not too bad for racing around in December on shopping and wrapping. I try to start wrapping in November, and not have it all to do on Christmas Eve.
I tend to put things for my immediate family into 1 bag, DH's family in another, a 3rd for my Dad's family (living local to us), and I'll usually have a 4th bag for the rest of the people local to us (my Mum's family, DH and DD, DH's aunt, friends). It means that when we are heading off, I can grab the relevant bag with everything in it and not get things for my parents and siblings mixed up with those for DH's parents and siblings (as we travel down the country to them, but only a few miles between them there).
And by getting organised, I have time to do fun stuff with DD at home, and to organise family fun like a steam train trip with Santa (this year, we are planting trees with Santa). An afternoon bringing DD to get her Christmas shopping and a hot choc stop without having a list of things I need to get too. Getting to carol services or other nice things for me, in between the manic pace that is work at that time of year - and also enjoying meeting a few friends for lunches etc (not all afternoon affairs, but catching up on the chat over a sambo and maybe A glass of wine if I don't have afternoon meetings).
Food wise, we don't go overboard. It's a slightly bigger Sunday roast, and we do a nice Christmas Eve meal of nibbly bits. We do get a few things for Stephen's Day, as the neighbours usually call in and some family too, for DD's birthday (birthday cakes are hard to find on Christmas Eve!). And we'd have a few extra bottles of wine and beer, but not slabs of it.
House-wise, we try to do a decent clean the weekend before, (we're usually fairly ok but just an extra good swipe) and put away the piles of clutter over the month of December. We get DD to go through her toys to donate old ones and throw out broken ones (and she buys a new one to donate too). And we also bring things we don't need to charity shop beforehand.
We don't generally have people in on the day. Either we travel (in which case we bring nice things with us for both sets of parents as we will visit both on the day, and a lot over the few days we're down) or we eat at home just the 3 of us. But if we are at home, we do a lot of visiting - Church, DH's aunt, my Gran and some of her kids (only my Dad is not in this city, but while most gather there for evening meal, 3 of the 5 have other committments earlier in the day), then home to put on the turkey and grab the last bag to go to my Aunt.
I set the oven on the timer for the bird, just in case we get delayed. And if we are delayed, we can make roasties smaller to cook fast and steam veg rather than roasting it. But it's a relatively straightforward meal anyway - roast bird, boiled spiced beef, roast spuds, 3 types of veg, gravy. Followed by cheese board, and probably ice-cream to keep DD happy. Pudding tends to be a lot later when we have room.
And definitely don't worry about it. It's better to go with the flow and have a good atmosphere than worrying about it all and trying to keep to a strict timetable (although, if you aren't used to doing large meals, working it out backwards from a rough sitting down time is VERY helpful - but once you know it is all cooked ok, then leave a gap for a relaxing 10 minutes sitting down before serving). If having lots over, a cold starter is good, especially one you can plate up early. Try to have veg etc prepped from the night before and soaking in water ready to cook.
And if having lots of people over - delegate!! Someone to set the table, someone to keep drinks flowing, someone to keep making tea for Auntie Maud, someone to entertain the kids (or alternate between beloved aunties and uncles)...
And have someone ready with a black sack for all the wrapping paper when the presents are getting opened.
A good tip I heard a few years back was to keep a small Christmassy box or shoebox wrapped in Christmas paper (lid seperate) under the tree. With a screwdriver, sellotape, few batteries, spare light bulbs for tree, ....sorts of little bits and pieces for emergencies that you can just grab.