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[KatieBMumsnet]

We've been asked by the folks at Chedds, the kids' cheese snacking brand from Cathedral City, to find out your top tips for fussy eaters.

So, if you've ever had to or thought about how you'd deal with a "fussy eater" - what advice do you give other Mumsnetters with a fussy eater at home? What tips can you share to help make this easier to deal with?
For example, do you sneak carrots into mashed potatoes or disguise peppers in a bolognaise sauce? Do you try to alter the texture, colour or taste of certain foods? Do you make food into smiley faces? How would you get nutritious snacks into lunch boxes or for picnics? Or do you simply ignore the fuss?

Everyone who adds their comments to the thread below will be entered into a prize draw, where one MNer will win a £100 Space NK voucher.

Please note that some of the tips posted here may be published on the Chedds pages on Mumsnet.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

I do try to hide things like onion and peppers in sauces for Dd, but she really doesn't like them. All credit to her though because every now and then I ask her to try something that she doesn't like and she will. I think we've possibly turned a corner with tomatoes after I put them into a homemade egg and bacon flan, but I wont hold my breath. I just think it's important that when she reaches adulthood, that if she says she doesn't like something, it's actually because she doesn't like it and not because she hasn't let them cross her lips since toddlerhood. She eats eggs now and she disliked them until very recently.

V easy for me to suggest (as parent of non-fussy eaters) but I think ignoring 'fussiness' is the safest bet

In terms of sneaking veg in, I find homemade soup a great way to do this - easy to make, too.

Mine like curry,which is another way of getting veg in that they wouldn't normally eat if served on its own. So a simple lentil dhal type thing, with some carrots and celery added goes down well (without them realising they've eaten celery...)

My DD used to be a really fussy eater, still is to some extent even though she is a teen. She loves Italian food though so that's great for blending and 'hiding' veg in all the various pasta sauces, even pizza sauce. I also used to blend and 'hide' veg in gravy too. As she got a bit older I would encourage her to try one new thing a week, and encourage her to find recipes herself that she might want to cook.

my 4.5 year old recites the mantra" eat with your mouth and not your eyes" .... she's at the age where she just about understands that she might not like the look of something but it could actually be yummy. To re-enforce the point we had a fun taste testing lunch where I deliberately made the chocolate pudding look horrible, but she ate it all once she'd tasted it.

We tell them both its there favourite characters food, like Mario loves Peppers its his favourite power up etc! Sometimes it works quite well :) x

I add extra protein to sauces and soups with pea protein powder.

I try to get DD1 to guess the texture of new food (will it be crunchy or squishy?) and we play 'food explorers' with a mission to find tasty food. She's not great at trying new things so I've tried to make it into a game.

I get egg (iron) into my fuzzy eater by mixing hard boilt egg thoroughly with macaroni so the macaroni is coated with egg yolk and grating cheddar on top!

Ds can be really fussy but I try to make pictures with his food. A stick of carrot or cucumber for a mast in a jacket potato boat with broccoli sea and sweetcorn sand always goes down well. And faces out of any veg followed by can you eat the nose? Now he can't smell. See what happens when you eat his eyes etc.

Also if they don't eat because they are being fussy I take the plate away and give nothing until the next meal. They are usually hungry enough to eat all their next meal then.

We sit down together for at least one meal a day as a family - my fussy eater will eat the things that Grandpa eats because he loves his Grandpa to bits!

He also prefers stronger flavours - mature cheddar and curry for him, it's the boring stuff like plain veg that he doesn't go for so they get hidden in the tastier dishes.

Maybe I'm just lucky but mine eat most things.

There has been all the stuff recently about French children and their behaviour and eating habits. My mum is French and we grew up eating together at a table, we were used to long meals, several courses and manners.

I hope that that I am passing on my good relationship with food to my children. From the start we have eaten together where possible. The dcs have always eaten the same food as us. Even if not eating together for some reason a portion has been saved and they have had it the following day. I've never thought "oh he won't like that". I respect genuine dislilkes, we all have something that we really don't like (ds hates mushrooms for example) but I don't pander to them so they still get served. Ds is well used to picking the mushrooms out of his stew and eating the rest, he doens't complain about it. I think they best way is to stay calm about food, it is only food and if you are all eating the same then it isn't as though you've put in extra work just for the dcs. Just offer the meal and at the end of that course take it away even if mostly uneaten and offer the pudding (fruit and yoghurt, not suggesting you cook proper puddings every day!). Small amounts are less intimidating, they can always come back for seconds. As they get older you can start to tell them that they have to at least try it in order to get pudding. My 5 year old knows that he has to have a good stab at his main course.

Lastly, don't give them something you think might provoke an "I don't like it" reaction when they are tired. Thursday/Friday nights when they are shattered from a week of school is time to make sure a firm fave is on the menu plan.

I have 2 fussy eaters, and try to ignore it as much as possible.

with DS, now we know what he does like, we always have some in the house, and if he is in a food refusal mood, we will try and get him to eat his meal, but if he won't, then he can have some banana or cheese or the like. No sweet foods when he is being fussy though! This is not going to carry on forever, but he is 2.4 and does not sleep if he hasn't eaten well. Once his sleep improves, I will have an 'eat it or go hungry' policy. I do try and incoorporate veg into most meals, but don't hide it for the sake of him eating it - more for my convenience to only cook 1 pot of food.

with DH, the other fussy eater, I have the 'eat it or go hungry' policy, and he is much better than he used to be. He used to refuse vegetables, but is now probably less fussy than me with his food, as he can't take the furious silence when he refuses some delicacy I have placed in front of him [bgrin]

I have one fussy eater and one non-fussy eater. DD2, the fussy one also has a medical condition which means she cant eat certain foods and is probably where her fussiness comes from. She is apprehensive of trying new things. The way we've found to get her to try things is tell she's had it before and liked it then!

We eat together as a family and our girls see us trying new things too.

Each child is allowed to have 1 thing that they absolutely do not have to eat, except for trying it 1x a year. Everything else must be tried - 1 bite per year of age.

I would recommend introducing adult food as early as possible to avoid the fusiness. Then you don't get the weaning off cheesy pasta and fish fingers problem. Unless there's retching or an allergy issue, just dish up one meal for everyone and don't dance around fussing and serving up alternatives if there's a refusal.

Having seen what children subsist on in the developing world, I haven't got the patience for tantrums. As their personal taste develop you can accommodate those preference within the meals you choose to cook to please the whole family, but generally eating what's in front of you is good practice for coping when going to tea with friends and when invited to eat at the boss' house

My top tip is not to stress too much when your 2yo is super-fussy because that's the worst age (IME). But also not to give up at that point but keep gently pushing new foods at them, expect them to get less fussy with age and keep dishing out the veg/ new foods etc.

And after all that positive gentle encouragement I also resort to bribery (pudding), also social pressure (so-and-so is a really good eater, so their parents can take them out to restaurants etc).

Agree re introducing a wide variety of normal family foods as early as you can.....
BUT, that said, I have four children, three of which will eat anything and one (DC3) who is very, very fussy. I look back regularly and try and puzzle out why he is like is like this and wonder whether I did anything different with him during the weaning process, but I honestly don't think I did?!

I always serve him with the same whole family meal that everyone else is having but in slightly different proportions than the rest of the family, giving reasonable portions of the things he does eat and tiny portions of the things he doesn't (So he likes meat and vegetables so he has plenty of those but won't eat potatoes or gravy so he has one little potato and a little spoon of gravy on the side) This is slowly but surely working I think, as he does try things sometimes in his own time. I really don't believe in huge battles at the table. Dinnertime is the only time of the day when we all get time to sit down together so I really don't want to spend the whole time stressing over whether DC3 is eating his potatoes.....

We lay out the food- a reasonable choice, and let DD serve herself.
She doesn't get attention if she won't eat or makes a big song and dance about particular foods. Just a "mmmmm DD" and a "great, more for me". I remember the huge running battles my mother had with me as a child ("Sit there till you eat it!" - I could still be at the table at midnight as I am stubborn - and then the food would reappear at breakfast!). I'm determined to avoid these sorts of battles- indeed, you could say I have gone too far the other way as I am rarely to be found cajoling DD into eating.

I tend to ignore it.

My DS is fussy, but I'm lucky as it does include a fair number of healthy things. If he wants to eat the same dinner for years he can, as long as it is healthy. I'm sure the range will increase some day but until then, if he wants the same, he can have it.

My 4 year old is majorly fussy. To encourage him to just try new things I usually serve dinner in bowls/serving dishes so that everyone can add what that want to their plates. It stops him from tantrumming over stuff on his plate that he doesn't want but also he likes all the wee bowls and spoons and dishing up. He's much more likely to try something if he's in control of the whole meal/eating experience.

My dc both enjoy vegetables, it is meat that I have always struggled to get them to eat.
For dd we have learnt to chop the meat up very small and mix it with her veg.
Ds is older, 3, and enjoys meat but finds the chewing boring, so again with chopping it up small and usually adding something to it, like gravy, cheese or sauce.

DS2, who has ASD is a very fussy eater, but we have worked hard at increasing the range of what he eats. He's very much into brown crunchy food and has gone through phases of refusing all but carbs.

We got protein back into his diet by going down the coated with breadcrumbs route. We had days of him eating the coating and rejecting the rest, but he was eventually brave enough to try things without peeling them and realised that he liked the meat or fish inside. He will now eat meat without the coating.

Fruit, he has grown to love baked into cakes and puds. Apple pie, rhubarb crumble and blueberry muffins all go down very well. He has progressed to liking apples raw and will happily eat one 2 or 3 times a week.

Veg, we've been less than successful with. We can hide tiny amounts of carrot, pumpkin, courgette and even beetroot in cakes, but not enough to make a difference. He will eat pizza, of course, so long as there's no big lumps of veg on it. Vegetable fingers/burgers etc simply get dismantled. Even if I am not trying to hide veg, I put a tiny piece on his plate and he has at least progressed beyond refusing the whole plate of food until its removed and will actually touch it to move it out of the way, which I know is hard for him, since he will gag if we put a piece of raw broccoli or carrot in his hand.

DS1 also has ASD and is quite fussy, too, but he does at least get a balanced diet and, given that he's prone to refusing to eat entirely, we don't make a big deal about it.

I think the key with all fussy eaters is not to make it into an emotive issue or a source of stress at mealtimes. If you do, it becomes an issue of control and a battle of wills that you can't possibly win.

DS is too young to be fussy, but DP is! I make sure I add finely diced carrots to bolognaise, and have grated courgettes into meals in the past. I also grate apples into DS's porridge which he loves.

one thing with my ds, and i've met quite a few who are similar, is that he likes things separate - he doesn't like stuff cooked altogether in a mush that he can't identify all the individual bits in. so where you might do a dish of pasta with vegetables and protein in the sauce for most kids he needs you to do a plate with pasta on it and vegetables and the protein all separate and without sauce. blend the same ingredients together in a 'dish' and he won't want it.

i also remember from my own childhood, and he seems the same though i swear i've not taught it, that texture is important and things of ambiguous texture or that require too much chewing and then feel wrong in your mouth can freak you out i'm mostly over this as an adult but there are still some things that i could just never eat like tapioca or blamanche or creme caramel and overcooked meat still turns my stomach as does grey, cold roast pork.

the trick is to find ingredients that they do eat that pack in a lot of goodness and think creatively about nutritional equivalents of the foods they won't eat - so if they don't eat meat you can think of egg, nuts, peanut butter, green veg etc.

i know people say 'ignore' and just serve them anything but whilst that works with some with others it doesn't. i remember three hour stand offs with my mother who'd told me i couldn't leave the table unless i finished what was on my plate and didn't want to back down. it wasn't pure stubborness that stopped me but literal revulsion at the idea of putting what was in front of me in my mouth.

my top tip is take the stress out of eating, don't get wound up and emotional about it because it just further charges the issues imo - relax - many of us were fussy eaters as kids and the vast majority of us have grown out of it and manage a healthy, varied diet now without any lasting damage from fussy childhoods.