NOW CLOSED: Share your family meal time stories and tips with Bisto – you could win a £250 Sainsbury voucher

[AnnMumsnet]

Bisto have asked us to find out about meal times with your family as part of their "Power Down for Dinner" campaign. Bisto say "The aim of the campaign is to encourage families in the UK to dine together more regularly and to encourage families to re-embrace the quality family meal without the disruption of emails, calls and virtual pokes". You may recall we previously asked about tips to find time for a family meal. Now the focus is more on how technology may affect this.

We have some questions below for you to think about but Bisto would really like to know what you think about eating as a family, what happens in your home and any tips you have for other families.

Do you get the whole family together for an evening meal? Do work, travel or other commitments get in the way? Do you want to have a family meal in the evening or would you rather eat later when children are in bed? How has this changed as your family has got older - or how do you envisage it changing? Does it get easier or harder to eat together as children get older?

What about technology at the table - do you allow TV on, mobiles or games consoles at mealtimes? Do you have rules or go with the flow?

What about space? Is that an issue for you and your family?

If you manage to get your family eating together in the evening, please share any top tips you have for other parents about how you manage to make it work.

Your stories and tips posted here will be used on the Bisto "Power Down for Dinner" pages on Mumsnet which are coming soon.

Any Mumsnetter can post their views on this thread - everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Sainsbury voucher

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

We're lucky in that we currently manage to eat together most nights. We usually have at least one meal all together each day, so if DP works a late shift we sit down to lunch together before he leaves. The DC are only small (3.5 and 6 months) but we've always sat down together to eat and I want that to be normal for them. It's not a strict thing - we try to keep it chilled out and aren't too fussy about manners and stuff, just so it's a nice thing for us all to do. It's a good feeling, especially when you've spent time cooking a decent meal, to sit round a table and enjoy it together.

We eat in the kitchen so there's no TV, but if it's left on and DS can hear it he sometimes tries to slide off his seat halfway through the meal so it tends to be switched off. There is a radio in the kitchen but DP likes it switched off at mealtimes. No rules about phones although that will doubtless change as they get older!

Space isn't a problem for us just now as we have room for a table in the kitchen, although I'm not sure if we'll be able to afford a house with space for dining with our next move. Which will make me really sad :(. Our main issue is that we tend to find ourselves seated round the table with a huge elaborate centrepiece of magazines, junk mail, toys, hats and gloves, phone chargers, pens, baby wipes, CDs and junk models. Once in a while one of us reaches breaking point and clears it but it's back within a day or two.

Tips are hard because every family is different. I think the usual stuff like being relaxed about it so it's not some huge event to sit down together, and getting everyone involved in serving/laying the table etc are good. For kids I really like putting food out in serving dishes and letting them help themselves, or making meals they get to "build" like fajitas or pancakes. The best way to teach I think is to set an example so chilling out, enjoying your food and talking round the table is all good stuff to do with them from an early age.

We eat all our meals together at the table. I work late 3 nights a week so on those nights, DH and DC eat together and I get my evening meal after I get home.

We never have toys/magazines/newspapers etc on the table at mealtimes. Our table is in the kitchen and there isn't a TV/radio in there so no other technology issues.

We don't have a lot of space but I really hate not eating at a table so I took out a couple of kitchen units to make room for the table. I also don't like to eat separately from the DC as I do feel it is family time and as we all eat the same food, we should eat it together. It helps encourage the DC to eat well.

I was brought up eating meals at a table so it's just habit for me. DH never had proper meals and never at a table (on knee in front of TV) so he took a bit of time to get used to it but now, he really feels the benefit and enjoys sitting with us all together (most of the time!) :)

I don't think I have any tips on how to get a family to eat an evening meal together - it's just what we've always done and hopefully will always do :)

I eat with the Dcs 5 days a week - Dh does not come home until after 7 which is too late to wait. We all eat together on a weekend though, even if its a treaty take away!
No gadgets or reading at the tabke, unless I am reading out a school newsletter which we can all then discuss.
We always use this time to swap news from the day - we are all at different schools so there is always something to talk about.
The Dcs all muck in to clear/set the table/fill up a jug of water etc, and everyone clears away their own things.
We are lucky to have a lovely dining room, so have room to sit and eat together.
For comfort and a slobby evening, we sometimes have a take away in the lounge on a Saturday night, and settle down to family TV (Harry Hill etc) Its a lazy luxury treat for us all. Rules are meant to be broken!

We have a small kitchen but have managed to fit a little table in there so we can all sit down to a proper meal.

Weekdays are hectic with dd at after-school activities and dh working overtime so we only manage two meals round the table, Tuesday and Thursday.

We have never allowed 'technology' at the table when we are all sitting together, but if it's an informal meal during the week we will eat in the living room watching tv. Dd and I have our Girls Night once a week when dh is out until very late, we curl up together on the couch with pizza and videos.

Weekends are another matter: Sunday is The Sunday Roast. While dh is out working on the cars or the garden, dd and I are in the kitchen dancing to music and preparing the food, and occasionally delivering the odd cup of tea to the 'worker' outside! Then it is Dinner Time and we all sit down round the big dishes of roast, veg and gravy. It's our time to all sit together and talk about the week, knowing that we won't be interrupted. We let the answerphone take any phone calls and we ignore our mobiles because Sunday Dinner is OUR time.

When my children were very small they tended to eat seperately and that was because they needed a lot of help and attention whilst they were eating.
As they got older my partner and I made an effort to ensure we ate at the table as a family as much as possible. Nowadays, we almost always eat at the table together. Sometimes we do have the television on but most of the time, the television is off, phones are on silent and we make it as enjoyable as possible.
My children know that it is the time for them to talk about their day or anything else that is on their mind. It is also a good opportunity for them to hear about our day and talk about any plans we have.
One way we encourage the girls to sit with us at the table is by giving them 100% attention and make the meal lighthearted and fun. We lay the meals out on the table and often have little pots of sauces or selection of accompaniments to encourage the girls to eat their food. I always feel that doing this makes them feel that they are having a choice over what they are eating.
Routine is the key to success. Once the children got used to eating together as a family, they stopped fighting it and soon learned to enjoy it and make the most of it.

No technology at the table, all meals eaten at the table.

Space not an issue, got one place spare in fact!

DH home too late to eat with the kids but I often do. Weekends we all eat together, kids can't leave the table unless we've all finished eating. Is a good time for us all to catch up.

We have a big map on the kitchen wall and its a great talking point for the kids and us when we are eating. Love it!

We eat together every night at the table in the kitchen - we didn't use to have the space for a kitchen table so since we got one a few years ago we prefer to eat at it. Before that it was TV dinners. We have dinner at whatever time both of us are available.

DC is only 5 months but already sits between us in a cradle type highchair for meals even though she isn't eating. We will be trying to continue this as she gets older as I think it is important for the family to come together at some point of the day.

Having said that up until DC came along I would be reading the paper while eating and my husband would be watching the TV. Now we are interacting with DC at the same time as eating so we talk more.

Hopefully as DC gets older she will still sit for meals together as we have got her used to it earlier. I plan to cook meals so that the three of us can all eat the same thing which also helps ensure everyone eats at the same time.

,

We have always eaten together at the table for evening meal, however few or many there are of us. It has changed over the years, down to just me and 2 schoolage kids now, sometimes a stray child from the park. No tv, games or mobiles allowed, table manners reminded about often but it is now lovely to sit and chat together. I always wonder how the table gets so cluttered every day tho - once we had to eat around a giant killer whale model for a month! It was carnival time, I was building it, and it wouldn't fit anywhere else. At least guests found it interesting!
Whoever is in my home at mealtimes gets a seat at the table and it is much more sociable, less mess and everyone learns to behave properly.
Once in a while I take pizza slices and salad into the living room for a treat with a film and thats fun too, if hard on the sofa!

We eat at the table altogether 7 days a week, were lucky dh is home at a decent time so we can all sit together. dd usually lays the table while i put the food out, and dh makes the drinks.

We make a point of eating our evening meal around the table together every night.

We are lucky that we have the space for a large dining table and eight seats for myself, the wife, our 4 children and grandchild.

No TV, no mobiles, no game consoles, no books or newspapers, just time to eat and converse about the day we've had.

It's definately easier (in our case) as the kids get older because they aren't so fussy regarding what they will eat and don't get as tired and tearful, which makes it less stressful for all.

I must point out that this has been a fairly recent thing since I was made redundant from my 12 hour shifts job and it has benefited the kids greatly with regards to what they will eat and also their meal time (table) manners.

We eat when our ds is in bed (he's 1).

We eat at the table, a meal from scratch and discuss the days events.

I ban all consoles/mobile phones etc from the table and if the phone rings we just leave it. There isn't a television in our dining room, thankfully.

The key tip I have, is make a meal TIME, and stick to it and make a point of everyone being at the table ready to eat at that time, it'll help you (or dh) prepare the meal on time, and should start an evening routine where you can all sit down together.

PS: Use your Sunday leftovers to make pies for packed lunches in the week.

We always eat together as a family, at lunchtime I sit with the little two at the table and eat lunch, at tea time I wait until dp is home (around 5.30-6.00)

There is only one choice of meal dished up, take it or leave it, they never leave it If you clear most of your plateful you get an afters if we have any.

We don't have a tv in the dining room but sometimes do have a cd low in the background, no phones, games, toys etc at the table, it's never occurred to me before but it's just something we wouldn't do.

I enjoy our evening meals as we all catch up with eachother.

We are totally relaxed about eating and we eat at all different times and rarely around a table, most evenings at least two of us manage to eat togtether and I am insistant that there is no mobiles, comps etc but we do have the tv on. My super tip for family cooking is to have a slow cooker, if you can buy two, one really large one for whole chickens etc and another smaller one for other dishes, great healthy food that cooks it self and you can make use of cheaper cuts of meat, you can even make cake in them:)

we always eat our evening meals together. Currently due to space, not sat at a table, but as house move is imminent, it will then be around the table.

It used to be listening to the radio or a CD, but watching the TV has crept back in again. This will also change when we move.

No phones, games, books, papers, computers, toys etc., are ever allowed at mealtimes - without exception. They are not allowed to play with there food either.

Children are 12, 8 and 5 years, they have always been expected to behave correctly at mealtimes from weaning and as eldest DD is 25 years it seems to have worked.

No-one is expected to eat anything they hate, but they are expected to eat food that they are not that keen on. That applies to the adults too. They help with shopping, food prep, cooking, serving, loading the dishwasher etc., from an early age.

Try to serve the same meal to everyone, but about half the time have to make modifications for 1, 2 or 3 people (not always the children). That is more for the adults, as otherwise we would never have steak or onions or mushrooms.

My DH often doesn't get home from work until 7.00pm, so to make it work, DS age 5 has a sleep when he gets in from school. DD age 8 will occasionally have a sleep in the day, but that is more to do with their health issues than eating late. When DH is working away, we could eat earlier, but stay the same to accommodate the naps.

I grew up very rarely seeing my Dad as he worked very long hours including compulsory weekend overtime. My DH had a similar childhood, so it is important to us both to eat together as a family whenever we can.

My 12 year old will shortly be joining cadets so I know it will become more difficult on at least 2 evenings a week. We will just try our best on those nights and carry on as normal the rest of the week.

Do you get the whole family together for an evening meal? Do work, travel or other commitments get in the way? Do you want to have a family meal in the evening or would you rather eat later when children are in bed? How has this changed as your family has got older - or how do you envisage it changing? Does it get easier or harder to eat together as children get older?

I work late 3 evenings a week and DH works late 1 evening, so no, we don't all eat together every night. The evenings I work late I usually cook something for DH and the children in the morning, or get something out of the freezer (usually cottage pie or bolognese which I make and freeze in batches) so when DH gets in at 6pm he just has to heat something up. (The kids are 8 and 6) The evening he works late I usually give the DCs an earlier supper and make something for the two of us when he gets in, this gives us the chance to have something the children don't like - lemon risotto for example. As the children get older, perhaps we could eat together later.

What about technology at the table - do you allow TV on, mobiles or games consoles at mealtimes? Do you have rules or go with the flow?

No mobiles or DS, but often the tv is on, or we play music. In the morning we have the radio on - radio 4 or radio five live. No rules about it though, although the kids do not have phones yet! There is no tv in the dining room.

What about space? Is that an issue for you and your family?

Only 4 of us, so no.

top tips

Be relaxed about it. Can't imagine anything worse than rigid rules around food.

As the children get older I am involving them more in shopping and cooking.

Everything in moderation - this was my Grandma's motto (as she poured cream over the homemade bilberry pie )and it's what I tell the children - they come home with ridiculous messages they are given at school, eg that butter is "unhealthy" and low fat spread is "good for you".

We manage to eat together most nights (we're lucky that DH is home at the same time every day). I usually insist the television is turned off and the teens certainly aren't allowed to use their mobiles at the table (although I have caught them trying to read messages holding the phones under the table!). DS is not allowed to bring his PSP to the table either.

The younget two usually lay the table for me and get drinks ready. I'm still trying to train them all to put their plates in the dishwasher (or at least clear the table) after dinner because I get fed up with being left with all the clearing up.

We're lucky that we've got a big table for the 6 of us (plus room for any friends who end up staying for dinner), but when our eldest was small we didn't have a table so we used a pasting table with a cloth over and some dodgy chairs from the tip. I wanted us to sit together because it was something I'd always done as a child and I wanted the same for my children.

We sit down for dinner together unless there are activities in the evening which prevent it (we currently have one evening where both girls have activities, but one directly after the other, and on this evening we sit in two "shifts" of two so no-one eats alone).

We don't do meals in front of the TV, because it's often the one point in the day when we can all get together and talk. None of us tends to have our phones on us at dinner time, but it wouldn't be considered polite to check texts/answer calls etc. if we did. If the house phone rings, we leave it and check for messages after dinner. It's definitely and deliberately a low tech time for us - unless you count playing a CD quietly in the background. We even tend to eat by candlelight!

I do feel it's easier with older children - when they were younger, it was more of a struggle to find a time which suited everyone to eat. And I'm really lucky the OH gets home at 6, so it's not as though we're waiting until late in the evening for him. I suppose each family just needs to do what they can - if there's only one evening a week (or lunch) that you can manage as a family - grasp the opportunity. It's definitely worth it if you can!

Do you get the whole family together for an evening meal? Do work, travel or other commitments get in the way? Do you want to have a family meal in the evening or would you rather eat later when children are in bed? How has this changed as your family has got older - or how do you envisage it changing? Does it get easier or harder to eat together as children get older?

DH is often late getting home from work as he travels quite a long distnace but I make sure that I sit down with the DC's every night for a meal. They are 4 and 14 months and I think it's important that we set a good example regarding table manners from the beginning. Before DD was born, I did the same thing with just me and DS.

On weekends, we all eat together at the table in the kitchen, it helps us to reconnect and chat.

I guess as the children get older, dinner time might get a little later and DH will be able to join us more often. I'm looking forward to that.

What about technology at the table - do you allow TV on, mobiles or games consoles at mealtimes? Do you have rules or go with the flow?

We're lucky enough to have a table in the kitchen so there are no TVs or computers to distract us and I would never allow games consoles. It's me that's guilty of answering texts at mealtimes The children are too small to have thier own mobiles yet but I'd hope we'd be able to eat together without them when the time comes.

What about space? Is that an issue for you and your family?

We have a small house but are lucky that the kitchen is quite large in comparison - almost equal to the lounge - so we can easily fit a table in with room for our family.

If you manage to get your family eating together in the evening, please share any top tips you have for other parents about how you manage to make it work.

With little ones, I find countdowns work well - I tell DS when dinner will be 5 minutes, then 2, then 1 and then I call him so he knows it's coming and can get ready to change activity. If he's watching TV, then I'll switch it off when I want him to come through.

Making sure food is the right temperature helps too. If the food is too hot when DS sits down, he doesn't want to feed himself and will get bored and fudgety while I try to cool it down. Things go a lot smoother if he can sit down and tuck straight in. DS loves to serve himself too. If I put things out in dishes and let him pick out his own portions, he gets much more involved in the meal. And don't serve too much - big plates can seem really daunting and put children off

No technology at the table
EXCEPT mum checking work emails at breakfast....

Do you get the whole family together for an evening meal? Do work, travel or other commitments get in the way? Do you want to have a family meal in the evening or would you rather eat later when children are in bed? How has this changed as your family has got older - or how do you envisage it changing? Does it get easier or harder to eat together as children get older?

We usually all eat dinner together at table, sometimes teenage ds is absent due to college/ work/ social life other times he has 1 or 2 friends so often make a dinner which could stretch for extras.
We have dinner at 5pm latest, as the youngest dc start bath and bedtime at 6. I miss leisurely evenings cooking, chatting to dh and older ds with glass of wine and eating later. Now dinnertime is regimental and usually ends in a tantrum and mess.

What about technology at the table - do you allow TV on, mobiles or games consoles at mealtimes? Do you have rules or go with the flow?

The radio is sat on the table, but we switch it off once we're all sat, usually have ipod speaker playing. Try to persuade dh to switch off his phone but he usually takes calls and then I shout at him...

What about space? Is that an issue for you and your family?

We've squeezed dining table into kitchen as seperate dining room impossible with young dc. It's stupidly cramped and we can't extend table. When we have more than 1 guest we have to use computer chairs or even borrow from next door..all adds to the chaos.

If you manage to get your family eating together in the evening, please share any top tips you have for other parents about how you manage to make it work.

Make dinner an institution, pick a regular time and stick to it, make it understood a good reason has to be given for missing dinner. Anyone in house must sit at table and be sociable.

We always eat together in the evenings but not breakfast as it is all abit chaotic witheveryone getting ready and hubby works late so usually lies in

We dont allow technology at the table , we even have the tv turned off. We do however keep hubbys mobile close by due to work

We try and discuss what we all have done that day, what we would like to do at the weekends

We try as often as possible to bake with the kids so they can be proud of their creations and make them more aware of their food and how it is made

i eat en famille reluctantly THERE I AM OUT AND PROUD
I know this means that we therefore all have ASBOS and wear shoes with tracksuit bottoms on trips to Wetherspoons, but i simply cannot confine myself ot eating the stuff that the boys will.

SO we do at weekends.
i let them read at breakfast time.
friday tea in fron of the tv

all the boys are fit slim , clever and sociable.

so you dont HAVE to eat togther every day for it all to work

Before my husband left, the children would eat their dinner earlier, at about 4.30. A girl from the local sixth form picked them up from school and cooked for them. I?d arrive home at about 5.30 and I would then cook for my husband and myself. We would eat in the dining room at around 7pm, whilst the children watched tv in the living room. They would eat dessert with us every night.
When my husband left, we (my two children, then aged 10 and 7) suddenly seemed like a very small family. It seemed vital to me to keep going as a family, to keep family rituals and to re-bond as a smaller group. For the first few years, we ate together every school evening. I asked the girl caring for them to give them a small snack. I soon got into the habit of cooking one night for the meal the next day. I did this whilst they did their homework and chatted to me at the kitchen table. The kitchen became the hub of the home.
The children?s job was to set the dining table, ready for the meal. We didn?t watch tv in that room and they were too young for mobile phones or the internet, but that hour was for conversation, not for talking to friends who weren?t present.
Our routine changed when they became teenagers. They were happy to cook for themselves (and I was happy for them not to cook for me!) but three times a week we would eat together. Again no technology - even they could see that it stopped us having a conversation. Then on Friday and Saturday evenings we ate in the living room whilst watching tv. It was relaxing and casual and I didn't mind if they answered their phones, though they couldn't use their laptops whilst eating.
Now they are away at university and when they come home it's a mixture of meals at the table, the three of us together, talking about what they've been up to, and meals in front of the tv. They can use their laptops etc but don't tend to if our conversation is interesting enough!
I don?t think I?ve ever stated anything as a rule. They have good manners and wouldn?t just text if I was talking to them. We negotiate about television; they can watch DVDs in their rooms, but not live television, so we?ve always had to compromise. I think this is good for them and good for me, too.
We?ve been lucky in that we had a separate dining room and space to eat in the kitchen, too. But in the end it?s about respect, isn?t it? If someone?s cooked for you and you haven?t seen them all day, it?s respectful and good manners to talk to them for a while. It stands them in good stead with their wider family and friends, too. I?m always aware I?m bringing them up to be good partners and spouses, not just good children.

thats an essay!

During the week, we are lucky in that the whole family is available for dinner - we always aim at 6.00 p.m. We eat in the kitchen and sometimes have the portable on so we can play 'Eggheads' on BBC2. Other than that, we try to have a sit-down meal and talk. Weekend have to be more flexible as people are off doing their own thing