Son moving to supported living

[Belle2882]

Hi everyone
After a very long fight with social services, social services have now agreed that supported living is the best choice for my 18 year old son who has a learning disability, autism and ADHD. It’s been agreed at panel and we’ll now start looking for a suitable placement for him.
This is something that he really wants as he’s keen to be as independent as possible and as a family we believe it’s the best choice for everyone. Social services have assessed him as having capacity for health and welfare but not for finances, so I will take on supporting him in this area for as long as is needed.
we’ve had a tough time the last few years and although he’s not violent there has been some very challenging behaviour which has resulted in several safeguarding referrals for our younger children.
I’ve mixed feelings about supported living as whilst I know it’s best I’m so fearful as he’s so vulnerable. I also feel incredibly guilty as because of his behaviour we don’t have the best relationship. I love him dearly but I find it difficult to like him sometimes as awful as that sounds.
i just wondered if any of you had been through similar with young adult children and what your experience of transition to supported living was like?
Also, any advice on how to make the transition smoother or things we can do to support him best?
I really want this to be positive for everyone and hope that without the daily pressure and stress we can start to rebuild a positive relationship with him.

Following with interest. I hope you get some responses.

I’ce not got experience of assisted living but I do get the feeling of not liking then sometimes

I hope you get some responses from MNers with experience soon.

Sorry no experience either - I was coming on this forum with a new username to ask for advice on how to investigate getting a supported living package in place...

@Hahaplop speak with your social worker, if your child is approve for supported living the social worker will send out a referral to the supported living service providers.

My LA put young people on their list and IME then show you terrifying and unsuitable placements. 🥹

Thanks - we don’t have a social worker…

@Hahaplop you can request social care assessments yourself.

Where would we do that?
Also while there might be benefits of getting SW help, what are the risks?
I've heard very mixed stories - he is a vulnerable young person and I'm not entirely confident the NHS staff I have come across are very good at safeguarding, so I am super cautious about inviting more random strangers into our lives...

I’m not sure what you mean by “Where would we do that?” If you mean how do you request social care assessments, you can do that via your local council’s social care department, not the NHS.

The risks are not receiving support, not receiving the support required &/or not agreeing with social care. But if you want supported living, unless you can fund it yourself, it will need to be funded by social care &/or NHS funding, so you won’t be able to avoid professionals.

Thanks - I'm familiar with all the education and health mechanisms but have no clue about social care. What department in the LA am I looking for? Do I just phone up the "Social Work" team or am I looking for a subsection of that? What sort of assessment do I need to ask for? What is the legal framework which I will be requesting this under? And where do I find out what the assessment/priority criteria are to see whether we would have any chance of success?

thanks for those suggestions - Risks I was thinking of were having to move out of borough, getting a placement with young people with conflicting needs (happened to us in school), box ticking rather than individual care, other things specific to accommodation that I don't know about...?

@Hahaplop if you google ‘Adult social care’ and the name of your local council, you should be able to find the phone number to call. They may also have an email address &/or an online form if you prefer,

You would need to ask for an assessment under section 9 of the Care Act 2014.

This information from Mencap is a good starting point.

Some do have placements out of area. If DC has capacity, they can’t be forced to move out of area. If they lack capacity, it can sometimes be a bit more complex. But remaining in a familiar area can be part of the assessment and care plan. Being placed with those with conflicting needs sometimes happens, but a careful assessment and search for an appropriate placement (whether that is with others or an individual placement) can mitigate that. It helps for the move the happen before it becomes essential. That way you can take longer to find the right place and you are still around and able to help smooth transition/iron out problems.

I would also request a carer’s assessment for you under section 10 of the Care Act 2014.

Sorry i dont have anything to contribute but also following with interest as it was something we considered for dc but things have settled down a bit since starting on AD. Still not the easiest to live with but much better than before. 💐

@HahaplopIf your young person doesn’t have capacity then obtaining Court of Protection deputyship offers protection from social care being able to make “best interests” type decisions that you may disagree with. Where a person will live and with whom? Etc

@vjg13 and @ChasingMoreSleep many thanks!

Just saw this thread. Just wondering would anyone have any ideas how much a supported living accommodation normally costs in the south west region. My 19 yo dc is waiting for a supported living placement. My dc’s cares will be taken care of however I think dc will have to pay for the rent for the accommodation/bedroom initially.

@blackcandle the LA should pay for supported living package, and your young adult can claim UC or housing benefit to pay for the rent. I’m currently going through the process and that’s what’s happening in my case. Supported living should provide furniture for the bedroom or you can provide your own.

@blackcandle costs will vary depending on the type of placement. Not all supported living arrangements are the same and some types cost a lot more than others.

As pp said, sometimes housing benefit or UC’s housing element (which depends on the type of placement) is available to fund some/all of the accommodation rent amount.

@Belle2882
My son is in supported living (in his own home with a support team). He has behavioural issues amongst other things. He's quite bright and keen to live independently - he's 22. It works for us. Many people around us raise eyebrows and I think feel that we should carry on all living unhappily and stressfully together forever. We decided this at 18 - it took until 4 months ago for it all to come together. Agreement with SS was our first step..so I would be surprised if it happens soon. Have you got LPoA because once he is 18 there will be a lot of moments where you will need to speak up for him organise things for him and you will be stuck without it.

Thanks for this - reassuring that another family has managed what we would like to do in the future. How did you discuss the LPOA with your DS?

@Belle2882 We (Mum, Dad older brother) have LPOA for both finance and heath. He is always keen for us to help so agreeing to go ahead wasn't really an issue. We did it together - you need 3 people (not relatives) all together to sign the paperwork and I think that meant he felt supported. 4 months on we have needed it to..sort out the internet, electricity bill, liaise with social housing, talk to the bank and so on. He doesn't cope with meetings. Generally we talk together about what needs doing and then mive forward with him.