Adhd 16 year old unbearable

[MadHouse24]

Our 16 year old daughter is diagnosed with adhd. We were also advised by the Psychiatrist to get a ASD assessment but at the time, this would have done more harm than good however, we strongly believe that she is Auhd.

She has been a challenge at home for a long time which has been extremely hard since she was about first. However, since her 16th birthday she is literally unbearable. I dread being around her and will often just stay out the house until I know she has gone out. You can not have a rationale conversation with her without her just raising her voice and overpowering the conversation. She is completely defiant on all levels and just inparentable. However, she masks the minute she steps out the house. I even book family therapy but she went to 1 session and now refuses point blank to go back and blames my husband and I for everything.

Has anyone got any advise as I am at a loss and just miserable!

Is DD on ADHD medication?

Have a look at PDA and PDA strategies.

How is school? It sounds like DD is experiencing the coke bottle effect. If school life was easier, home life is likely to improve too.

Our DD has a diagnosis of AuDHD. So tough isn’t it? I agree with looking at strategies to communicate with people with PDA.

One thing that helped me was realising that DD is super sensitive to not only time of voice but also facial expressions, not helped by the fact that she can’t really decode facial expressions. Which means that for her, if I’m not smiling she assumes I’m angry with her.

So what I did was to smile everytime I saw her like seeing her was the best thing that could have happened to me.

It took time and I really had to fake it at first, still do sometimes, but she did start to relax. It is a bit like being in an abusive relationship though sometimes isn’t it?