Im sure there are quite a lot of SN mums in this situation that can relate. You feel very torn between your role as a carer and mum and career/job. Im 33, my two kids DS1 age 13 and DS2 age 9 are on the autism spectrum, but low support or aspergers. DS1 was born extremely preterm (26 weeks) and has many sensory issues, needs a 1 to 1 and has had ehcp in place since age 6 in school, it is hard to take him anywhere as he will bolt and put himself in danger if an environment is too loud or stimulating...DS2 age 9 on the other hand is being assesed for ASD but is very very different to DS1..he masks a lot, is very conscientious and mature for his age, very sensible, but he does get upset (cries) if his brother has a meltdown as he finds it a bit scary, especially in public. He is doing very well in school, but isn't very sociable.
At the moment im mostly a SAHM. I work very part time. Husband works full time 40 hours per week and i do feel guilty but he tells me he would rather me here for the boys. However, i am going mad with isolation and repetitive housework. My 13 year old autistic son gets a taxi to and from school as I dont drive, he (obviously, bless him) expects me there by his taxi at 3pm each day..that's his routine, and if im not there he gets tearful and panics. It really limits my ability to work. And I know this sounds selfish.. but since having him at 19 and now up to 33..I feel like i only get my identity back 1 Saturday a week (when I work).
When exactly can you be confident enough to have a child with autism at home for a few hours at home? Im thinking in my case, perhaps when DS1 is 18...what's your experiences been with SEN kids and working?