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Feeling deflated about DS behaviour

1 reply

Choclabratwatowner88 · 08/09/2025 15:10

DS 17 has asd, he was diagnosed at 10. He is a bright, sarcastic and has a good sense of humor. But my god he can be hard work.
so FIL recently passed away and DP recieved some inheritance. DS for years has dreamed of going to Disney and universal in Florida as he’s a massive rollercoaster fan. So DP booked us a holiday of a lifetime. For my birthday which I happening whilst we are out there, I said I wanted to visit discovery cove. Double checked with dc and they were all hyped. Now DS has told me he doesn’t want to do the diving, he’s going to be bored etc etc. he doesn’t want to spend hours and hours in the parks, which I’ve said isn’t happening because I won’t be able to as I have problems with my feet. I now feel deflated, that I don’t want to even go now, because DS has a habit of making people feel awkward or uncomfortable when he doesn’t want to do something or is anxious. I don’t want him tarring either dd or dp holidays as they’ve never been before and dd is very excited. Also my birthday, I don’t ask for much, this is the one thing I want to as I can’t really ride many rollercoasters these days due to vertigo. He didn’t come on holiday with us this year, just to a caravan and I feel bad for saying it… but it was a relief he didn’t come, no trying to please him, him not making people feel uncomfortable. Dd was visibly more calm. Me and DP argued less. DP can be challenging enough due to his anxieties. We’ve spent an incredible amount of money, more than I’m comfortable with but it’s DP’s money and he said if we are doing it, we are doing it properly. There also moreAnyone else got experiences travellling gwith a neurodivergent young adult.

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 08/09/2025 15:50

Did he stay with someone when you went on the caravan holiday ? If so give him this option.
If he’s coming I’d present the itinerary as clearly as possible giving times when he can choose what to do and allocating time for yours DD and DP choices.
You will probably need to be clear about expectations. I know this doesn’t mean he will meet them. Try to agree things he can do if he has to wait, thinks to read/ look at music to listen to, game/ iPad time etc.

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