Struggling with Audhd DD

[Redalertt]

I’m so fed up right now. I find my adult DD so frustrating. To get her to engage in conversation is bad enough. If it’s more than herself and her dad talking and I ask something, she seems to be unable to cope and has such a low patience tolerance. It’s different when she needs a lift somewhere and we all have to go running around for her. She hates shopping which is fair enough but it can sometimes get to the point when we’ve had to go out and buy her stuff for her to try on. I feel so alone with this. I always thought I’d be close with my daughter but it’s really not the case.

She eats her meals in her room as she doesn’t like eating at the table where she can be seen. My husband accepts this, but I don’t find it sitting well with me. Is he pandering to her needs or am I being unreasonable?

Im so low with all of this.

Shopping can be incredibly overwhelming for some. Lots decide it isn’t worth the overwhelm and pay for deliveries/returns instead - one form of the extra costs associated with being disabled.

Eating with others/in front of others can be difficult for some. For some, it is part of co-morbid ARFID. For some, it is part of their sensory needs &/or misophonia. If this is the case for DD, forcing her to eat with you at the table could be counter productive. Would DD eat at the table separately? How big is your table? If it is the noise rather than eating in front of others, can she eat at the other end of the table with noise cancelling headphones? Is there space for a small desk or table in her room?

Agree with deliveries being an extra cost of being disabled. There are many but I find this one is probably our most common.

DD rarely goes shopping these days unless it's with her DAunt. The rest she orders online.