Russia

[FromDespairToHere]

Not sure if this is the right place. DD is 25 now. She's autistic and has depression and anxiety.

She's currently obsessed with Russia and the idea of nuclear war. She barely slept last night because she was on twitter and different news sites. She keeps bursting into tears and she keeps shaking and going catatonic in fear.

She has an appointment with the MH team but not till 2/12. Any ideas how I can calm her down?

I’m autistic and live with depression and anxiety, and I’m finding this particular issue incredibly difficult right now. Over the past two days, I’ve been experiencing panic attacks and compulsively checking the news. I’ve faced similar challenges in the past and even had therapy to help manage them. I know I tend to research as a way to find comfort, but it often backfires, worsening my anxiety and creating a vicious cycle where I seek relief but don’t find it. I’ve been told this behavior is a form of OCD, so looking into that could be helpful.

What works for me is completely cutting myself off from the news, setting clear boundaries with others about not discussing it, maintaining a daily routine, taking walks, and immersing myself in a special interest. I also benefit from having a safe space, often with my sister, where I can talk openly about my worries or have someone patiently answer my “what if” questions. Encouraging your daughter to try some of these strategies might help her feel more grounded.

That's incredibly helpful, thank you. She's checking the news because she wants to read that it's all ok but she's not going to see that. I'm struggling to know what to say to her. I can't promise her everything will be ok, she's not a child. I keep reassuring her that we're ok right now and if the government thought there was any danger she'd hear it from them, not from twitter.

I'm exhausted, I can't begin to imagine how exhausting it is for her, and for you. I'm glad your sister helps x

Thank you. I have a 9-month-old son who is always so happy, and honestly, he’s the best antidepressant I could ask for. Please don’t worry your daughter will get through this. It’s possible to live with these challenges while learning techniques to manage and lead a normal life. I know I’ll never be completely “cured,” but I wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful to understand that struggles like OCD are actually quite common.

For me, these thoughts often arise when my mind is preoccupied with other worries. Right now, for example, I’m struggling with the thought of sending my baby to nursery, and my mind tends to latch onto other concerns, like the war in Russia or whether I’ve left taps running etc. In the past, I did CBT, and it has been life changing it helped me recognize when I’m entering a cycle of obsessive thoughts. Before CBT, I wouldn’t even realise I was caught in it, let alone know how to pull myself out. I highly recommend CBT it has made such a difference for me.

While I don’t think I’ll ever fully be free of these challenges, being able to identify the signs and use the tools I learned in therapy has been empowering. One of the hardest things for me is dealing with real threats, like global issues, but the links below also offer advice on managing hypothetical worries. I hope this helps!

I know how hard this is but, she's so lucky to have you as a support. I really am thinking of you both. Talking to others is the best you can do, you start to realise so many people suffer with the exact same things. It's honestly helped me so much seeing your post and knowing I'm not the only one struggling with this crazy world right now.

www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/myself/exploring-your-mental-health/anxiety/the-vicious-cycle-of-anxiety/

www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/myself/exploring-your-mental-health/anxiety/challenge-negative-thoughts/

www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/myself/exploring-your-mental-health/anxiety/take-control-of-worrying/