DD 18 had decided not to do the second year of her L3 BTEC, and says she is going to get a job.
She was diagnosed late with ASD (at 17). Her attendance at school had always been a bit patchy (we thought anxiety), but the wheels really fell off in lockdown. She didn’t access any at home learning, she became very depressed, didn’t leave her room for months, wouldn’t speak to us. Terrible days.
I did manage to access CAMHS, and after various assessments, and a lot of time, she was diagnosed with ASD, borderline ADHD, and anxiety. She started on Sertraline which made a huge difference.
She missed the last 2 years of high school .. but managed to pass 5 GCSEs, and after a year off started her BTEC. She passed Y1 (with a lot of support from me), and started Y2 in September, however she has told me she is leaving and getting a job.
Her course is only a small group, but she’s fallen out with all of them. She’s so quick to fall out with people, and then won’t change her mind. She isn’t easy to get on with, she really needs to learn to get along with people she doesn’t like, and not be such a catastrophic thinker.
I keep going between “it’s her decision if she wants to get a job”, to feeling hugely disappointed that’s she’s not reaching her potential, due to this fixed thinking.
She’s intelligent, but thinks she’s think. She could easily get into uni, but thinks she’ll never get in.
I feel like I’ve been fighting for years to get her into CAMHS, to sort out school, to get her entered for her GCSEs, to get meds, to get a college place, to support her through, to pay for a counsellor … and now she’s applying for jobs that don’t seem to have much of a future
When she was poorly there was self-harm, and suicidal thoughts, and so I feel grateful that she’s well. She’s great company, I love her living at home.. she is some distance away from independence (no idea when that’s going to happen)
I just needed to write to down, I want to support her, I guess I just feel a bit sad