Upset mama

[Mamaof1234]

My dd has just started high school, she has been under CAMHS for possible ASD since 2020 her psycolosgist said no she didn't have it was just anxiety and some sensory issues, and primary school said she was OK twice, fast forward 2 years alot more concerns went to GP who referred her for ASD assessment, some concerns school where seeing now and we where seeing alot more at home, filled in questions and had an initial appointment and got a letter stating we have met the threshold to go to the panel for further for ASD assessments but will be a 3 year wait. She's struggling with school friendships at the moment her 2 primary school friends have found other new friends dd is very obsessive with people and gets upset easily if left out, she finds it hard to go and make new friends and all the homework they are getting seems to be putting the pressure on her aswell, high school do know her stuggles, but she told me she was just on her own today reading and it broke my heart, any advice anyone please on how to help her during this new time in her life

Can school provide a quiet room where she can go at break time? Our DD was eventually given access to the room for DC with SN and it did help as she was then more relaxed.

Has she got any guides on friendship too? Making friends can be tricky, especially when she doesn't know the rules

Polaroid princess
She has joined the history club on a Monday lunch as she loves her history and its only a few pupils, there's also a wellbeing club each lunch time to, I've suggested to her to go, to maybe meet some new friends, I think her old friends getting new friends has thrown her a little, she's quite eccentric and obsessive so will only talk about what she likes which I think makes it hard for her to make new friends. There was a new friend she talked about for a couple of days but I think she may have come on a bit to stong, which I did talk to her about, I just don't want her to be lonely and friendless, thank you for your reply and hope your dd is getting on OK now 😊

Yes after a little rocky patch roughly lasting from Y8 to Y11 she's actually doing much better. They had a gut coke to school and talk about the apprentice scheme they have and was quite focused on that. She didn't apply to that company in the end, she applied to another one with better prospects and so far, I think she's doing ok, thank you.

A Mighty Girl had a few suggestion on books about friendships for different ages. Maybe try her either way something like Roller Girl?

Polaroid princess

Oh thanks will have a look at getting her some books to try 😊 glad all worked out for you and dd, it's hard seeing them struggling😔

It is hard and she still had some meltdowns and struggles but the confidence that work and now her apprenticeship has given her us incredible.

I hope your DD sticks to her History Club abc gets to read about some amazing Women in History

Speak to the school. They can support friendships and provide support with social interaction and social communication. They can also back you up in encouraging DD to join extra curricular activities within school.

Does DD take part in extra curricular clubs outside of school?

Polaroid princess
Yes the meltdowns are hard, seeing dd fall to bits it heartbreaking and yes I hope she sticks to it to so far so good 😊

Glad your dd is getting more confident I think that's what my dd needs to

Totally agree.

When she's a bit older try Explorers. There seems to be a lot of ND DC at our local one and they're for the most part lovely.

EndlessLight
I think I'm going to have to speak to her head of year again hopefully she can help, she doesn't do anything outside of school as she hates leaving the house unless it's to school. We
Have taken her out and she's been physically sick because she wanted to go home or she's tried to jump out of the car 😔 she did to dance about 5 years ago bit she couldn't handle it it was like sensory overdrive for her

Rather than, or as well as, speaking to the HOY, speak to the SENCO.

Is DD currently receiving any support with her mental health? Has she had a sensory OT assessment?

@PolaroidPrincess I am glad you are finding Explorers supportive. We have found Scouting to be very inclusive. Sadly Explorers less so than Scouts, Cubs and Beavers.

@EndlessLight

She was under CAMHS for 5 years and they did try her on sertraline but with her being so young it wasn't for long, she is also still taking melatonin for sleep, she did have some OT assessment for her motor skills, turns out she has hypermobility in her hand/arms. Do I go through OT for the sensory to? She hates having her hair washed, neck touched and some noises irritate her, she also either chews her tops or keeps water in her mouth

Has CAMHS discharged?

Not all ICBs commission sensory OT on the NHS anymore. If yours does you can request a referral to OT via the GP or in some areas you can self refer. Even if sensory OT isn’t availed in your area, if you make an EHCNA request (IPSEA has a model letter you can use) a sensory OT assessment can be part of the needs assessment if the LA agrees to assess.

@EndlessLight

Thank you for that will definitely look into seeing how we go about the sensory assessment.

Yes CAMHS discharged her earlier this year, because the psycolosgist has a massive waiting list!! And only dd can help herself with her worries we where told!

Go back to the GP and request DD is re-referred.

@EndlessLight
We have an appointment later this month with the GP so will ask them, It is CAMHS that is doing the asd assessment but they have stated there will be no involvement from them inbetween the initial assessment which we have had and us going to panel

A referral for MH support will be separate to the ASD assessment waiting list.

@EndlessLight
Thank you I will ask our GP at dd appointment

I am glad you are finding Explorers supportive. We have found Scouting to be very inclusive. Sadly Explorers less so than Scouts, Cubs and Beavers.

Sadly it does seem to be a bit random. Ours is greedy but the DNs line in a much bigger city and their local one seems a bit crap. Luckily they've both found other Explorer groups within their City that they've enjoyed abc made friends at.

Sorry for the typos. I've not even been on the , just really tired .