Need some advice

[mentalstrife]

I desperately need some advice because I am not coping very well.

I will provide a little context to help frame the question. I live alone with my 23 year old son. My eldest son is living in supported accommodation, after three years in residential care . He has complex MH needs and autism. My husband is in a care home with what is believed to be late onset schizophrenia.

My youngest son also has complex MH issues, including an eating disorder, and he is awaiting assessment for neurodiversity.

My youngest son's ED is not controlled, and he will eat out of the rubbish bin, if he cannot get hold of food. He has also stolen my card to buy food. The card situation is resolved, but it has left me tremendously short of money until my next pay day. I work from home. It is not the first time this has happened. His life comprises exercise, obsessional cleaning, and either rigid eating or bulimic behaviour. He has no income of his own, refuses to claim benefits, and was turned down for PIP.

I want my son to receive the help that he needs. His behaviours are driven by the ED and intense anxiety. He is not a lazy or inherently criminal young man. He often cries and states that his life is not worth living. He has no suicidal plans.

He is under the mental health team, but often misses appointments. The appointments are infrequent. The ED team are next to useless because he does not meet the criteria for intervention.

I cannot continue living with him. I want him to go somewhere where he will receive the help and support that I cannot give him. I feel too beaten down and frustrated by this situation and the wider context that I am next to useless with respect to supporting him.

I am seriously considering contacting his social worker and telling her that I no longer want my son at home, but I am frightened this will end in some rushed intervention that would be disastrous for him.

I just don't know what to do.

Do you feel able to have DS remain at home with support whilst a plan is put in place? So it isn’t an emergency placement and more thought can be given to an appropriate plan.

Does DS have an EHCP?

Reapply for PIP (or appeal if you are still able to). Request to become his appointee, then you can claim on his behalf. Also apply for UC for DS if he doesn’t have savings over £16k. If you become appointee, you can do this on his behalf. You will need a fit note.

Thank you for this advice. My son has an EHCP but it has not even been looked at since he was 16. He stopped attending school at 13,and it took me two years before a statutory assessment was agreed to. Once he 'left' formal education, the EHCP was simply abandoned. I realise I should have chased things up, but it was at this time that our eldest son was in crisis.

He got two points for PIP. I appealed my husband's PIP when it was referred, and took it all the way, but it was still not granted. He ended up on section and later, in the care home. There is a huge shortcoming with respect to PIP assessments for MH and I believe the Equality and Human Rights Commission are looking into this in more general terms, but that does not help me

I think the idea of becoming an appointee and claiming UC is interesting, but surely the DWP would have to do a work capability assessment, and this would mean my son would have to co-operate, unless the GP (or a member of the MH Team would say he has not got mental capacity). A safeguarding meeting that I initiated just after Christmas deemed that he has mental capacity.

Many WCA are paper based or via the phone where you would be able to speak on DS’s behalf if you became appointee. DS wouldn’t even need to be present. Few are face to face. If you are unlucky enough to be called for a F2F you could get the GP or MH team to write that that isn’t suitable. This wouldn’t be the same as saying DS lacks capacity.

I would reapply for PIP. If it is refused and a mandatory reconsideration isn’t successful you should go to tribunal.

Also request a review of the EHCP. IPSEA has a model letter you can use for this.