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SN teens and young adults

ADHD teen HF ASD boundaries?

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duvet · 25/02/2024 13:35

My 18 DD who has ADHD &ASD confessed to me today that in the last 3 months she has sent nudes of herself to 6 different people, including a 32 year old and that she felt sick about it. She's done this at least a couple of times in the past and school/college intervened, we didn't know til then. It tends to occur in the evenings she said and in the past we restricted overnight access to her phone but now that she is 18 that feels more difficult. She quickly makes friends but can become quite intense and frequently falls out with friends. I know she is desperate to fit in and can get quite low.
We could turn the wifi off earlier, so there's less temptation. She says she wants help but then she doesn't comply. I suppose but I could be flamed for that as she's 18 but then she is not like other 18 year olds I know including my own older DC at that age, she would struggle to be left alone for a few days, maybe for one night. She talks to strangers online when she knows she shouldn't so I feel nervous when she's out.
Although she confides in me at times, she only wants me to listen, as soon as I try to suggest a way forward to help she starts raising her voice and telling me she doesn't want to know. She sees a counsellor at college but not much has changed. I'm trying to get her to get a job to increase independence and self confidence.Any advice for boundaries at home ??

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DarkChocHolic · 25/02/2024 17:15

Sorry to hear OP.
I have a ND teen with similar issues of dubious online behaviour so I know your heart wrench.
Their self esteem is so low they hate themselves and are so ashamed of themselves.
They constantly seek validation and because they are ND they struggle with close friends. This is true in my Dds case.
Hence the dubious behaviour online.

I have no advice...I have thought of WiFi restrictions but they could still go on their data.
I have thought of removing the phone but as you say not practical at their age.
Everything I read mentions improving self esteem and keeping them busy.
Would your dd like volunteering until she finds a job?
I notice when dd is busy she seems relatively happier.

Hope there is someone else coming with better advice.
Xx

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duvet · 25/02/2024 20:57

Thanks @DarkChocHolic she does a bit of volunteering, we pay for her to go to a couple of clubs and she is currently looking for a job, like you say keeping her busy. It helps to know not alone.

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