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ADHD teen won't revise for GCSEs, no motivation and won't do anything I ask

2 replies

winterrabbit · 19/01/2024 13:41

I've posted in other topics about my 15 year old DS who has ADHD and excluded from 2 schools over the last few years due to behaviour. He has been in his current school since March last year and is surviving, just, although his behaviour is still very very poor. He is 30 minutes late every day as he refuses to leave the house no matter how much I encourage/shout/threaten/bribe, gets multiple demerits at school and detentions every day. On the academic side, he refuses to do any homework and refuses to revise. Just got his mock results and he got 4s and 5s plus a 3 in his subjects. The only time he will revise is if I pay a tutor to sit with him so he now has 5 tutors a week which he still complains about but will do. He has zero motivation, vapes, swears, stays up late and won't do anything I ask etc. I am at my wits end as to how I am going to get him through his GCSEs. The tutors seem to work to some extent and if he keeps doing 5 sessions a week then he'll hopefully scrape by with 4 or 5s but he could do a lot better if he'd only revise. I am wondering what on earth I can do to get him through. There is no motivating him so I think the only way I can do it is perhaps hiring someone to force him to revise as he won't listen to me (tells me to f-off) and is more likely to listen to a third party. Any ideas or suggestions very welcome.

OP posts:
TobyPrice1 · 21/01/2024 20:30

My 15 year old son is similar. He refuses to revise, didn’t engage with a tutor (so we stopped it)and got grades 2/3 in his mocks. Putting pressure on your son to revise and have a tutor will not help the situation. It sounds like he rebelling due to all the stress that has been put on him. You can’t expect a teenager to follow your advice as he has to take responsibility for his studies and future. Does your son know that he wants to do at college? Perhaps that will motivate him. My son has found a level 2 course so if he doesn’t achieve a grade 4 in English and maths he can retake along side. My son’s school attendance isn’t great and he will use any excuse to have a day off. I must admit I have to give him weekly pocket money to bribe him to go in.
Perhaps have a chat with your son, ask him what his plans are, what can you do to support him. If he only responds with F off then leave him alone as you can’t do any more. Good luck

CadyEastman · 21/01/2024 20:56

We were in a similar position last year and DD was so resistant to any help or guidance that we decided to leave her to it. It was a very tough choice as you absolutely want the best for your DC but the atmosphere in the home was terrible.

We had a chat, told her that we trusted her, we'd help her if she ever asked but we were not going to check on how she was doing anymore.

We did arrange with Exam administrator for her to drop one subject which she wasn't enjoying and got a 3 in for her mock.

I didn't see her doing any revision but you know what, she passed them all. They aren't the grades that she's capable of but she passed and she found a course that she's enjoying and doing well at.

If you'd told me this time last year that she'd have her GCSEs, that she'd be enjoying college and have a lovely boyfriend I would never have believed you.

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