DH & Teen DD

[PinkMimosa]

Not really looking for any advice you you can give it if you have any

DH is often a miserable bastard quite prone to looking on the dark side and not good at counting his blessings.

DD is in the pathway.

DS is home from Uni and is back in his room. DD has been sleeping in his bedroom since he left and quite likes it.

So DD is a bit unregulated what with the change in routine, Christmas and being in her old room.

She's asked me to pick her up from work later and take her to her boyfriends. She'll want oicking up around 9. Both trips are around 40 minutes.

She's going again tomorrow and wants picking up at 12.30 am and she's going again on Monday.

DH thinks this is unreasonable and has a bloody face on him. I think that whilst it's not ideal, we're in a much better place than we were last year where she was school refusing, not able to participate in counselling and GCSEs were looming.

Today me and DH have had a rare day together but it really bugs me that he's prepared to ruin a perfectly nice day by being overly bothered by DD wanting lifts. He's very likely to be ND himself but won't seek a diagnosis or do anything at all to improve his MH. I've had to accept that he probably never will.

It depends whether or not you are able to do these lifts. I am not sure I would want to be ferrying someone around at 12.30am several times in a row. Is there a reason why she can't see him during the daytime or she couldn't use public transport during the daytime?

The 12.30 am is a one off as it's NYE and public transport is virtually non-existent in the week here never mind the weekends and Bank Holidays.

Added to the fact that the ADHD makes her more immature and the ASD gives her no sense of fear. Not a great combination for travelling alone, it makes me so worried when she does catch a bus alone.

Are you doing all the driving. I would have absolutely done the same for dc at that age and would take pleasure in the fact that I could support them to be happy. And once they leave you can’t do it any more.
And I completely second that it’s amazing that your dd is having a good time with her boyfriend if she has experienced difficulties before. Got to appreciate the happier times with your dc.
It’s sad if your dh doesn’t see it that way. And some posters will think you are indulging your dd. But stick to doing what feels right to you .You know your dd - and will instinctively know the best way to handle things with her .

I think that's it @RunnerDown I'm just so bloody grateful that she's finished school and is going well at college, has a BF and a job. If you'd told me this time last year what she'd be like now, I would have had difficulty believing you.

It's just such a shame that DH can't be more grateful for how much she's changed and how much happier she is.

DH is maybe upset that this is taking away from ‘his’ time with you, but he should communicate this and not make it so that you accommodating your ND daughter to go out and socialise is an issue…it’s unfair.

I think he's just very belligerent over anything that she asks for unfortunately.

She can be very difficult. DS has gone back to Uni and she's moved back into the bigger bedroom but she's lots of things in her old bedroom which we need to renovate for DS.

She's been screaming at us when we've tried to at least take some of the rubbish out. I do try and tidy it regularly but she's just so messy and won't let us go any cleaning or tidying when she's home but won't do it herself either.