Talking to DD about sensitive matters

[INeedADrinkNow]

My adult DD 22 has a diagnosis of ADD (possibly) ASD but refuses to find out (that’s another story). Past history; few friends then went to none but now has a girlfriend. Never used to come out of her room…now does to see the girlfriend. I went out with them for a meal and DD voice was so loud, confident and a little over powering. I didn’t say anything but found it hard at times. I worry her new confidence will look arrogant. She’d not washed her hair, again, I never said anything but could see it needed doing. If I did say anything there’s the possibility she’d blow up. How do you talk with your ASD/ADHD adult children? Advice welcome thank you.

My dd is 22 had to lay out fresh pyjamas and dressing gown as they smelt of body odour. Have to prompt her during the holidays to have a wash etc.
College term has set routine in the morning, arm pit wash etc.
Would your dd listen to you if you suggested having a bath or shower before she goes to see her friend.
Don't know how to make her tone her voice, take it you were getting stared at.
Think even I'd be glad to get out of there if receiving death stares.
White board or weekly planner have worked for us.
Sometimes you have to pick a good time, especially if pmt time etc.

I usually but DD something from Lush if she's getting to the point where she's shower dodging.

I spoke to my husband about it earlier and apparently she’d had a shower…just forgot to wash her hair! I didn’t even know this was a thing but apparently this can happen with ADHDers. As regards the noise control he said he ignores her and just carries on! I’m not to worry about it. Hmm…ok I see. I never said I was ‘worried’ but gawd it’s annoying as hell! I had a headache one day and it never went away! She’s back in her room Skyping with her GF so I’m enjoying a bit of peace whilst I can!

I spoke to my husband about it earlier and apparently she’d had a shower…just forgot to wash her hair! sounds like something that could definitely happen in this house but then one DC is diagnosed and the other is on the Pathway and I suspect both me and DH have it too.

I find dd needs more prompting to shave her legs and armpits and put on lip balm to stop chapped lips etc.
Though dometimes I do wonder if she massaged the shampoo in properly??