Hi all, hoping for some insight or ways of coping with this.
I am 2 days out of hospital after an operation. I'm on crutches, am in a reasonable amount of pain and can't do much currently. DD is supposed to be helping me. We talked a lot about it before I had the op, I told her what I would need help with and put lots of measures into place to help make things easier for her. EG she has sensory issues around washing up and refuses to do it. To negate this I have bought heavy duty paper plates and bowls, plastic cutlery and plastics cups. So all can be thrown away instead of needing washing. I have put the dog into kennels so she doesn't have to deal with dog poo or dog hair. I have bought a lot of food that requires minimal cooking/prep and can be microwaved or done in the air fryer.
She already knows how to use the washer drier, can put shopping away, vacuum and basic cleaning, putting the bins out etc.
I also don't need help with washing, toiletting etc
today i've managed to wash my hair and wrap her christmas gifts and take clothes out of the drier. Took loads of energy but I did it.
Tonight I woke up to the sound of the microwave ( been sleeping in a riser recliner chair in the living room as it's easier ) I asked what she was making and was told it was mac n cheese for herself. I said i was hungry and could she please make something for me ( a 3 minute ready meal in the microwave ) she huffed a bit but did it, in the meantime I'd poured myself a drink into a plastic cup but I can't carry it on crutches so asked her to put it on the table for me, more huffing but she does it. 30 mins later I asked her for a tissue as had a runny nose. More huffing but she tears off a piece of kitchen roll, balls it up and throws it at me.
That was my last straw so I asked her why she did that, silence. i reminded her that we'd spoken about all of this more than once and that I'd prefer to be able to do everything myself but currently can't for a couple of weeks.
She got up and went to her bedroom and i'm in the living room feeling like i want to cry.
It's only been 2 days and I've had enough.
How can I help things along without dissolving into an emotional mess?
Also if it makes any difference my parents live abroad, one sister is about 45 minutes away and stayed here for 3 days with DD while I was in hospital and is bringing us a xmas dinner too.