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SN teens and young adults

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SN Teenager the subject of Local Whatsapp Group

7 replies

FanFckingTastic · 29/11/2023 21:07

I'm hoping that other SN parents might be able to give me some advice...

I'll start with the context - I have a 14 year old boy with numerous diagnoses and difficulties. He is a lovely lad but has found the teenage years tough and life is pretty negative for him. He finds school very challenging and whilst he has kids that he chats to at school he doesn't really have any friends. We obviously try our best to parent him as best we can.

A few months ago he started wanting to go around the block on his scooter. We desperately want to give him some freedoms and learn about being out and about without a parent there, the same as for any child. We built up slowly, firstly, he did this with an older sibling, then out by himself for very short periods with an understanding of where he was going and the time he had to be home etc.

He loves going out on his scooter - he has some supervised activities during the week but this is the one thing that he gets to do by himself for a short period in the time after he gets home from school and before it gets dark (so about 45 minutes) It helps him blow the cobwebs away and feel like a 'normal' kid if that makes sense.

Fast forward to tonight and I've discovered that he has unfortunately become the subject of my neighbourhood crime whatsapp group. A lady has posted on the group complaining about a teenage lad who's riding round and round and basically disturbing a quiet street. It would seem that he's been playing loud music on his phone and just generally being a nuisance. Other people then piped up to say that they had seen him too, and that he clearly had SN. A couple of people commented that he was nice and polite (he is, and likes to have a chat if people engage with him and are friendly) but others also said that he had been rude to them, and then it descended into a bit of a pile-on, culminating with people suggesting that he should be reported to the police and that they hoped his parents see the messages. Finally someone has said that they know where he lives and has put our address.

First things first, I'm mortified that he's been annoying people and been rude etc. It's not acceptable and I'll need to deal with it and clearly going out on his scooter is not an option for him going forward. My concern is also what happens next. I'm presuming that I should expect a knock at the door, either from the police or from someone in my neighbourhood. I don't think that it's reasonable of the whatsapp group to have shared the address of a minor but it's out there now, so not much I can do other than prepare myself.

Has anyone had a similar experience or any words of wisdom? Should I message the people that have commented about him on the whatsapp group seperately to apologise?

Feeling awful... firstly for the people that he's annoyed but also for him as I know how much of a big deal going out by himself was for him. Thanks for reading if you have got this far!

OP posts:
Cazaletto · 29/11/2023 21:13

Don’t stop him going out on his scooter!
He shouldn’t be playing loud music ideally, but he’s done nothing wrong.

What a rude bunch of people on the WhatsApp. Sharing a minor’s address and ganging up on him for a disability? They should be ashamed.

BlueBrick · 30/11/2023 09:37

I wouldn’t reply to the messages, it could fuel matters further.

I would also continue to allow DS out on his scooter but with more supervision.

vjg13 · 03/12/2023 23:20

A local lad with ASD liked to ride around in his scooter and unfortunately would also pick flowers from some of the planted up containers. The local Facebook busy bodies were ranting about him and it ended up with him being followed and seriously attacked, it was absolutely dreadful and I don't see him at all now.

Please do supervise your son more closely, even from a discrete distance. You can't rely on people being decent.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/12/2023 21:38

How is he now @FanFckingTastic? How do you think he'd be at an indoor skatepark?

FanFckingTastic · 07/12/2023 23:01

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto he was pretty distraught at being labelled a ‘bad’ kid but he understands that playing his music was not sensible. He hasn’t asked to go out on his scooter since it happened (and usually he would be desperate to go) so I think it has got to him - and I’d be lying if I said that it’s not got to me either.

The idea of a skate park is good, I just don’t know if we even have one in our local area. Also the idea (and the appeal for him I think) was going out on his own.

OP posts:
whiteboardking · 15/02/2024 22:22

I would post on the WAp

  • that's my child and he has additional needs
  • he is allowed to use his scooter and is not committing any crimes
  • he's minding his own business
  • he's been reminded to keep noise down
Please don't post about my child publicly. Please message me if you have an issue
whiteboardking · 15/02/2024 22:25

I would also publically ask on the group that the details are removed. Some adults on these groups think they are the police and all teens are trouble. They forget they are minors

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