DS 15 possible ADHD?

[Barro]

Please can you help as I am at a complete loss as to what to do.

DS is 15 and I think he may have ADHD. I visited a friend who I haven’t seen for a long time and when we were talking about him she said he had ADHD traits but schools have never mentioned it but now I can’t get it out of my head.

He has always lacked concentration even as a small child, would never sit through reading a story book or watching a film.

He is constantly in detention or being sent out of class for talking over a teacher or being disruptive. He has been excluded from school for making inappropriate remarks.

At primary school they said that he could do well but he was his own barrier to learning because he was lazy.

His handwriting is appalling and he only does the minimum amount of work- school said he was a lazy boy.

In year 7, (first covid lockdown) he started self harming when he couldn’t do/didn’t want to do any schoolwork- but this stopped when he went back to school.

He constantly lies.

He has started saying inappropriate/ offensive comments and doesn’t stop when asked to.

Everything is boring and he doesn’t finish anything that he starts.

We have been on holiday and while we have been queuing for things, he would be chanting songs or making noises or making noises with his hands.

His emotional responses to situations seem to have deteriorated. If he is angry (which is most of the time) he just shouts at us, calls us names or tells us to F off. On holiday he walked down the street crying, not even knowing where he was going - I had to chase him down the street to get him back.

He is constantly pinching or poking his sister.

When he is angry, I am worried he is going to hurt himself or me and so try to avoid confrontation or de escalate the situation but that just means the situation gets ignored or I give into him.

Does this sound like ADHD? I thought it was normal teenage angst but now my friend has mentioned ADHD, I can’t get that out of my head.

Thank you for reading and I would be grateful for any help and advice.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 13 and this almost exactly describes me at 15. School never picked it up for me it was only when I self harmed as a teenager that mental health services picked it up. Could you go to your GP and get a CAMHS referral? I know they have assessed a friends child recently and they may be able to help with self harm but the wait list is long.

Thank you.

He no longer self harms, I don’t know if it’s because he no longer has that feeling or because I avoid anything that might drive it towards that feeling. At the time he was doing this, we were in the first lockdown, school arranged for him to have mental health coaching via teams but he refused to engage. He didn’t see that he had a problem. They then made a weekly phone call to him but he just used to grunt at the teacher and didn’t engage with that either.

Is it better to go to the GP or wait until he goes back to school?

Schools can’t assess for ADHD as it requires a full developmental assessment etc which can usually only be done by someone like a paediatrician or child psychiatrist so the best thing to do is see your GP to get a referral for an assessment. Good luck and I hope stuff gets easier with your ds. I personally found a diagnosis and medication a lifesaver!

Thank you.

I thought that the schools would have raised it as a concern as they have much more experience than me. I will contact my GP on Monday and take it from there.