Please or to access all these features

SN teens and young adults

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Help- 20 year old Son’s life is out of control

3 replies

Mumof3MasterofNone · 28/07/2023 06:44

I’m at a total loss and feel like a failure.

DS 20 (21 in oct), High functioning ASD. Since he hit the legal age for adulthood his life has spun out of control. He’s technically old enough to take out credit cards and party hard etc but the emotional maturity is not there yet to deal with the repercussions.

4 credit cards maxed out- bailiffs pending
lost 3 jobs due to a mixture of unreliability and attitude
currently working from home with a new company but he’s already had a warning for not turning up to work on Monday (he’d been out all weekend)
smoking weed and hanging around with people who just use him
If I say anything to him I get abuse.

He does pay rent (when he’s working) and I have told him he needs to move out as he steals from me and his sisters. Reality is he couldn’t cope and I fear the situation would get worse. Equally he would just refuse to go anywhere. He’s very confrontational. 6”3 and intimidating.

He’s just been paid and booked a holiday, I asked him if he’d paid some debts- full on abuse back. ‘I can take care of myself’

he really can’t but legally he’s an adult.

I just don’t know what to do to help him 😞

OP posts:
EverySporkIsSacred · 28/07/2023 17:24

I am really sorry to hear you're going through this. I have no advice as my daughter is only 16 and not financially independent but I'm bumping your thread in case someone else more knowledgeable can help.

Mumof3MasterofNone · 28/07/2023 20:11

Thank you @EverySporkIsSacred
Im utterly heartbroken. His delightful input today was that I deserved him being horrible to me because I got pregnant young (I was 21) and had him with a ‘looser’ who left the day before my 12 week scan.
i should be ashamed apparently 😞

OP posts:
Verbena17 · 29/07/2023 10:07

Sorry you’re having this happen @Mumof3MasterofNone .
It is super challenging parenting an autistic adult that’s for sure.

Have you spoke to to adult social services? They could do an assessment and hopefully provide some good support to your family - a mentor for your son might be something they might suggest. I’m not sure what else but don’t be afraid to contact them - they will want to help support you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page