Ebsa y12. The stress is making me ill.

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

I’m at wits end. Dh and l are fighting about it all the time. I can’t eat.

Been turned down for refusal to assess for EHCP and going to appeal.

She just won’t go. She doesn’t like anyone. She will get dressed and then just not go. If she does go it’s only to certain lessons.

Shes ASD ( late diagnosis) probably Social anxiety, and bad self harm. I darent say anything in case she does it again. She’s screamed at me for not understanding her English NES. ( hasn’t been to the lesson for 6 weeks)

The school are shit. They did step up a gear and she went for a meeting on Tuesday. She’s still only been in once. She said she felt better, but refused to go today.

DH and l are killing each other. My brain goes into overdrive when l’m stressed. His slows down. I just feel sick all the time. I want to run away.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this @ArseInTheCoOpWindow.

Hopefully someone will be along soon who can help

Ds2 was school avoidant for years - first in mainstream and then in special school too. We took the gamble of withdrawing him completely. To be fair in our case it was not so hard a decision as he was not learning anything academically (his scores were going backwards) and his behaviour was getting worse so basically we decided he could not possibly be worse off out of school. At the end of the day his mental health was a lot more important than attending school - Our view (which actually has turned out to be right) was that he could catch up on academics at any time (he did get good A levels and in the end only one year later than he would have done if had gone the conventional route through education) but that once mental health is destroyed it is far more difficult to regain. Don't get me wrong he still has a lot of anxiety and demand avoidance but for him he can achieve a lot more if you don't overload him.

I would appeal the EHCP though as although ds2 was not in school we did get a EOTAS arrangement for him to get his A levels (home tutors) which worked well for him. Before the major school refusal happened how was your dd academically and did she have any idea what she wanted to do as an adult. Perhaps try and think of whether there are alternative routes to get her to where she wants to be. School is the cheapest method of educating most kids to a reasonable standard but this does not mean it is the best or only method for your dd.

Dd got 9 GCSE levels 7 and 8. How did you get EOTAS? Was it from the council?