Young adult male ,no life ,no friends

[Summerpetal]

I’m at a bit of a loss ,son is 23 ,has good amount of exams to his name ,could very easily do a degree
is currently managing one afternoon a week in college via a taxi ,
has been at college a couple of years ,not made any friends.
was not in any secondary school and had tutors
so no friends
apart from one afternoon a week in college ,he’s in his room .
we try to get him out for a dog walk ,or to come shopping with me ,he’s had the odd driving lesson .
he’s not coming up with any ideas of a job ,or career ,or clubs or anything.
I constantly suggest things ,
we got him to karate and he was excellent ,bought the uniform and 4 weeks in he lost interest.
he won’t apply for a council flat or let me apply for him.
he’s got his pip money ,and I believe we might be able to claim universal credit ,but no way is he going to manage going every week to job center,so he’s unlikely to get that .
im just lost
I can see him still living with us when he’s 50 .nothing is going to change if he’s not leaving the house ,which unless one of us takes him out ,that’s not going to happen.
we have a social worker who is great ,
he needs clubs or a day center,but there doesn’t seem to be any .
what is everyone else’s young person doing ,if they can’t manage college or a job ??

Does DS have an EHCP? If he does you need to request an early review as it needs amending. If not, you need to request an EHCNA.

Are you DS’s appointee for PIP? If so, that covers UC too. You should apply. If he is found to have LCWRA there won’t be ongoing meetings or commitments.

It sounds like the social worker should be providing more support too. Is DS receiving direct payments?

Rather than a flat of his own if you/DS wants him to move out have you considered supported living?

I was told no supported living available because he doesn’t take medication.
yes to everything else

Has he been offered any medication @Summerpetal?

All medication is poison ,he can’t see because his eyes are getting stronger by not wearing his glasses,,he didn’t clean his teeth for a year because monkeys don’t ,and I had to buy these twigs for him to chew on.
we’ve had him not drinking because there was poison in the water ,
we had camhs visiting the home weekly ,oh and someone was in his computer watching him ..
this and so much more is why he won’t take medication,because none of it works ( obviously these are all his views )
there’s just no day centers or anywhere for him to go in the day

If DS has an EHCP that is the route to more support. You need to request an early review ASAP as it currently isn’t fit for purpose.

There will be something for DS to do during the day - a specialist college, AP, unit/centre/group, mentoring, therapies, PfA… It may not be in the immediate locality but there will be something he can do even if it is a bespoke EOTAS package rather than in one cohesive setting.

The social care direct payments should also be enabling DS to spend time with someone other than you.

It is nonsense that supported living is only available to those on medication.

You don’t have to be on medication to be offered supported living. I’d suggest he needs a Social Care Assessment (as do you as his Carer) and involvement of an Occupational Therapist. The doctor can refer him to Social Services.

Also, get in touch with UC and apply for the Low Capacity for Work (LCWRA) payment too.

Keep us updated and wishing you all the best.

We have a social worker,she says he won’t meet the requirements for assisted living and he has to go on the council waiting list ,when he gets a flat ( 20 years time if he’s lucky ) then they will put support in place .
I have his ehcp meetIng soon actually,thanks that’s given me some things to mention

The social worker is talking rubbish, even if DS isn’t in supported living/his own accommodation they can and should be providing support now.

I’d complain about the social worker and request a different one. Supported living can be offered to people for a variety of reasons, whether or not they take medication.

She says she did a needs assessment and he didn’t meet the criteria.
lord knows what the criteria is ,as his 13 year old brother is more independent than he is

Have you complained and then asked for an independent review? Depending on specifics/the processes complaining to LGO may be possible.

If you appeal the educational provision in the EHCP you can also request social care provision is looked at.

It might be worth looking at advocacy too.