Possible autism? 12 year old son

[User0014]

I was wondering if someone could advise me who has some experience.

I have at times questioned whether there is something I am missing with my son. I myself suffer from anxiety and social difficulties and put it down to the same with my son but I’m unsure if it is more.

I have spoke to my sons school as it has become a bit difficult as he has turned 12 and recently has been more difficult as he does not want to go to school regularly. He has a close friendship with another boy and it has influenced him to the point where he doesn’t seem to be able to come when that friend isn’t there or doesn’t want to attend.

he has been worrying over speaking out loud in class. So much so he describes himself as being unable to catch breathe and his throat is closing in?

he is very social awkward and struggles in any new company or even just family who doesn’t see most days and takes a long time to come round.

he avoids eye contact with everyone other than close family at all costs.

In earlier years he didn’t like certain clothing like seams or anything that wasn’t completely comfortable: he has got better at this although some things he still avoids. He is a dreadful eater.

he had a period where he was into wwe wrestling and could name many facts/championship winners if given a year etc.

If given a present for example he is pretty straight faced even when very happy but tries now to show his emotion as he recognises ppl are looking for it but he just seems awkward.

he absolutely loves football but refuses point blank to join a team even after being told and asked numerous times from Myself teachers and outsiders who have seen his talent due to being so anxious and scared.

im not sure if this sounds like asd or just anxiety but any help would be great.

Following. I have messaged you I feel in the same boat

He seems to have some traits and I think it's definitely worth seeking an assessment. Have you spoken to the school or the GP?

How does he feel about being assessed?

I have spoken to the school. I did so a few months ago at parents evening and the teacher agreed about lack of eye contact and social anxiety etc and said he’d be in touch after speaking to head. I didn’t hear from him again.
i contacted school again and was told the teacher wasn’t 100% sure if it was pre teenage hormones or something more. We sat and went through the categories on the report to be assessed and the teacher agreed there was actually quite a lot to go on from what I see at home. They are going to submit it and he may or may not be assessed but this could be a long process. I’m not sure this is what it is or if just anxious as he is definitely able to cope with a lot more than I’d expect but then could be masking? I just don’t know what to look for now as he is that bit older. Sometimes I think yes then I think he wouldn’t be able to do certain things if that was case so he can’t have ASD

@PritiPatelsMaker

We had a similar story with school, they could not have been unhelpful really.

I'd try the GP.

@PritiPatelsMaker did you manage to get help/diagnosis?

What do you think he wouldn't be able to do if he had ASD?

I would say it sounds like he ticks a lot of boxes - make sure you keep a note of everything you've written above. I wouldn't wait for school to do whatever they're doing though, I'd go to your GP and get a referral.

I know I’m being completely ignorant by saying he wouldn’t be able to do certain things. I only have experience of younger asd children and at a higher level and do not have much knowledge. I guess I’m wondering am I exaggerating or is it just his own little ways other than asd. He’s started to go out with familiar friends etc and he’s able to go to football games etc (yet hates loud discos/music or too much going on around him) so in my head I’m thinking am I looking too much into it and it’s just the way he is.

the main issue is his social abilities and his anxiety. again I guess I’ve wondered if he’s able to have eye contact and normal social skills with myself and some close family then does this mean he’s fine?

this is selective mutism!

Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations, such as with classmates at school or to relatives they don't see very often.

They may avoid eye contact and appear:

• nervous, uneasy or socially awkward
• rude, disinterested or sulky
• clingy
• shy and withdrawn
• stiff, tense or poorly co-ordinated
• stubborn or aggressive, having temper tantrums when they get home from school, or getting angry when questioned by pa

The main symptoms of selective mutism include:

• experiencing general unease, nervousness, and shyness around unfamiliar people
• having a tendency to avoid social situations that may require speaking to others
• feeling “frozen” or feeling completely unable to speak during interactions with unfamiliar people
• using nonverbal communication like nodding, pointing, and writing when unable to speak
• needing to communicate through a trusted individual when dealing with strangers — for example, when asking for directions or paying for something
• experiencing negative or unwanted effects on your school or work performance, social life, and relationships

apologies for all of the text, i had to copy and paste alot of it since i cant name all of it best of luck!