Feeling guilty saying this…

[BlackandPink]

I’ve struggled with my DD now age 21 since she’s been 14. She’s got a diagnosis of ADD/ASD. I feel awful writing this as she’s my daughter and I love her but liking her can be so hard. We have so few things in common and it’s not hard for us to fall out although I do avoid this. Sorry not sure where I’m going with this as I know some of it won’t be her fault, she’s wired different.
How do others cope? Please be kind.

I’m sorry you are struggling Blackandpink

I don’t know much about ADD or ADHD but one of my YA dds is going through assessment atm. We’ve had very up and down times with her since the age of fourteen so I do identify with what you are saying.

Your heart aches for them and how hard they are finding life, but at the same time if they have been masking all day it’s hard when they come home and take it out on you, even when you have an acute awareness that it is extra difficult for them navigating adolescence with an SEN (I am sorry if this is the wrong term , I don’t know what is correct and what isn’t yet).

Don’t feel awful; it’s only natural to feel this way sometimes. Many parents of neurotypical teens feel the same I am sure.

You may benefit for doing a search on the teenagers board for the POTs (parents of teenagers threads) threads - I think there were 3 or 4 - I found them helpful anyway.

Things are improving with my dd now she is almost twenty which I never thought possible so maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel with you too?

Have you got enough support for yourself? Can you get out? Maybe do a hobby? Do something you enjoy just for you once a week?

I know exactly how you feel @BlackandPink

DD is 15 and being assessed for both. Today she should be going on a day out with her DF & DB. Is 1.5 hours late leaving the house, refusing to eat (this is common and then results in awful behaviour), refusing to get a coat, even though it's raining and is generally being horrible to everyone.

I wish it was easier too some days.

Thanks for replying @Himalayanclouds65 and @PritiPatelsMaker
Sorry you both can relate, it’s certainly not easy at times I know only too well.

I do need a hobby or interest, something to get me away from things even just one day or evening a week. I just never seem to find anything that peaks my interest but will keep trying. I do have a dog so get plenty of walking in but I can be a bit shy so tend not to befriend others as much as I’d like. I often see mums and daughters/sons out together and I do feel a bit left out on that side of things. I will continue to look for ways that can perhaps engage us both.

@PritiPatelsMaker Can I ask how the assessment wentfor your DD?
Thanks both for your support.

Can I ask how the assessment wentfor your DD?
Thanks both for your support

She saw a Community Paediatrics Nurse Practitioner this week who says that's she shows significant ASD traits, possibly ADHD and will screen for Dyslexia too although it could be 2.5 years before the process is complete 🤦‍♀️

I've only been asking for help since she was 2.

I've been really struggling with my ADD/ ASD 20 year old dd too @BlackandPink - she's also hard to like and it can be exhausting. If you want to pm me at any time for a chat please do, we may have a lot in common!